Picture fun

Adam has his "team" Christmas outting this afternoon/evening for work, so it was just us girls at home tonight. We did a little playing around with my camera as one of our "fun" activities. I love the look of pictures where Christmas lights are the focal point, but unfortunately when you turn the flash off on my camera to get the full effect of the lights, everything goes all blurry. I did play around a little with different effects on one of my favorites, so thought I would share. A professional I am not, but still kind of fun. :)


And one of the stairs, just because I love the look of our entry way all decorated.

I'm making my list . . .

and checking it twice (or thrice . . . or fifty times).

And shockingly, I think I'm really pretty on the ball/prepared this holiday season. I've got all our out of town packages wrapped, packed up, postage labels on them, and set up a pick up with our mail person for tomorrow. Alyssa and I have to frost/decorate about 2 dozen sugar cookies sometime this week and I need to make one more loaf of bread to give to the neighbors, but otherwise my holiday goodies were finished today. I'm waiting for my dad's Christmas gift to arrive (it was shipped today) and we need to get 3 more KC&ES DVDs from Eric for Adam's family, but otherwise all my gifts are bought and wrapped. I do need to hit the grocery store to pick up supplies for Christmas Eve, but there's still plenty of time for that.

Its a really good feeling! Normally I'm the person frantically trying to finish up wrapping presents as we're walking out the door Christmas morning. Its funny, but in a way being able to handle this holiday fairly smoothly (let's not think about my near breakdowns over Alyssa's play kitchen) makes me feel like I'm going to be okay at handling becoming the mother of two children. And considering that I entered the "30s" week-wise yesterday, that's going to be happening before I know it!

"Goodnight Moon" . . . its all about the MOUSE?!

"Goodnight Moon" has found itself into our regular rotation of bedtime books. Before I had kids it was one of my favorite children's books and I think it was probably one of the first books that I bought for Alyssa, so I'm glad that its turning into a favorite of hers, too. But the kid is OBSESSED with the "little mouse" in the book. She has to find the mouse (or a pile of yarn that *looks* like a mouse) on each page and if she can't find it she gets really stressed. Its not a calming book at all for her because she's either super excited that she found the mouse (kind of her own toddler version of "Where's Waldo") or anxious/upset if there isn't a mouse on the page. Maybe that explains why she hasn't been going to sleep right away the past week or so. Maybe "Goodnight Moon" needs to be moved down to the toy room with the "hyper" books.

I'm tired.

That's about all I'm "musing" today. I'm wondering if I have time to go take a little nap AND squeeze in my trips to the grocery store and dollar store before the inlaws arrive in 4 1/2 hours. Maybe I'll go get showered/dressed, run my errands, and then reward myself with a nap! (if time is left over). Heck, I could probably nap while they're here; they come to see Alyssa anyway. ;)

My back hurts, too.
Hurts in a way that can only be cured by a nap. ;) Oh the decisions!!!

Grandpa's JD gal . . .

That's John Deere, not Jack Daniels, folks. :) My dad is a huge John Deere fan; he even has his own fully restored 1935 (the year that he was born) tractor that he drives in parades during the summer. He's kind of famous around my hometown for being the "JD guy". So this year for Christmas Alyssa donned her "My grandpa drives John Deere" t-shirt and we're having it put on a travel mug for him. The pictures turned out really cute, so thought I would share a couple. Mostly to make up for the horrible Santa picture I shared earlier. ;)

Hello Santa!

My mom, Alyssa and I did our marathon holiday shopping trip today, complete with visit to Santa. Considering that Alyssa was crying before we even walked into Santa's "village" at the mall, the visit didn't go so hot. We did get one (expensive) picture to bring home as proof that we did visit him this year, but after looking at how surly Santa looked in all the pictures, I don't really blame Alyssa for not wanting to hang out with him. I'll have to go check past pictures, but I think he may have been the same Santa who two years ago wouldn't give a little girl enough time on his lap to tell him what she wanted for Christmas, so she stood off to the side whispering softly "Polly Pocket, please, Santa" after her turn was up, which totally broke my heart. Advice to those of you in town ~ avoid the Oakview Santa. Thought I would share the photo anyway . . . she wasn't actually sitting on Santa's lap, just my lap in front of Santa (you may notice my hands/arms making a cameo appearance), but we did get the two of them together, at least! (excuse the crappy quality of my "picture of a picture", please!)

On the upside, with the exception of our $5 family "gag gifts", my Christmas shopping is FINISHED!

Bah Humbug!

My mom and I went to Toys R Us today Christmas shopping. I am NOT a huge TRU fan at any time during the year, but at Christmas its a special kind of hell. Especially if you're an extremely wide load/pregnant and trying to push a shopping cart around. The stores near us are usually dirty and are arranged really stupidly. They have aisles that intersect at all sorts of weird angles and there doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason to their store layout. But anyway . . .

After a lot of research online I had finally figured out which play kitchen I wanted to get for Alyssa and according to the Little Tikes and TRU website, TRU kept it in stock. I really wanted to go pick it up at a time when Alyssa wasn't with me so that it would be a total surprise on Christmas morning, so I thought this afternoon while she was napping would be the perfect opportunity. I also wanted to pick up a gift for her secret santa exchange on one of my mom's boards. The mom of the girl that we're buying a gift for is VERY particular about what she wants/buys for herself, so I can only assume that she's that way with her kids, too. She's constantly talking about all the things she has to return/exchange after holidays and birthdays, so I'm a little stressed about finding the perfect gift. Another mom on the board posted a link to a doll set a few months ago and I remember the "exchange" mom really liking it, so I was going to pick up one for the exchange and one for Alyssa's stocking. Damned if I could find those dolls anywhere in the store. Damned if I could find the kitchen I wanted. And damned if I could find a simple stuffed cookie monster. I hate that we fought the crowds (even armed with some great $5 off coupons!) and came home completely empty handed. OH! And I wanted a simple pair of dress up shoes for Alyssa; the plastic princess kind . . . damned if I could find those either!

I suggested to my mom that we look for a keyboard/piano for them to give Alyssa for Christmas as I thought that was something that she would really enjoy. Damned if the only one they had in the whole place (that didn't have a 10 years and older age suggestion) was Barbie. Not that that's really BAD, but I was hoping to find something a little more basic and gender neutral. But Bun is going to have to play with a pink and lavender shopping cart one day, so why not a pink Barbie piano. Maybe we should have gotten him the matching Barbie guitar . . . that would have been manly, right?

I think the kitchen that I spent so much time picking out is being discontinued because its no longer on Little Tikes website, so I did find one that I liked pretty much the same. I'm starting to feel so burnt out that I just want to get her one and get it over with. Mom and I are going shopping again on Tuesday and I hope we have better luck then because I'm in a seriously pissy mood after TRU today. Although dinner, complete with onion rings, at Red Robin helped a bit. And there's Alyssa's visit to Santa to look forward to on Tuesday. :)

American Idol, here she comes . . .

Oh, those crazy K boys!

A post dedicated to the antics of some of my favorite men . . . my husband and brother-in-laws to be exact.

#1 thing that you do NOT do to your pregnant wife:
Decide that while you're on the roof hanging Christmas lights you'll toss your coat onto the ground in front of her without warning her. She'll think that she just watched her husband fall to an untimely death/paralysis, which is never a good thing.

#1 thing that you do NOT call and tell your pregnant sister-in-law:

Me: Hello?
Chris: Christi?
Me: Yes . . .
Chris: Its Chris K---. I'm at the hospital. (imagine a completely deadpan/no emotional voice)
*long pause*
Me: What's wrong?
Chris: (quite amused) Nothing! I work here!

Little does he know that I seriously had tears in my eyes at the end of that part of our conversation. Although I was a little confused since the caller ID said Children's hospital and I knew that Alyssa was in her room sleeping, so I couldn't figure out what other kid in our life could be in the hospital.

And speaking of my brother in laws calling ~ the always give their first AND last name when identifying themselves, which I think is kind of weird. We've been related for 4 years; I think we could be on a first name basis by now.

Pregnancy Pictures

I was feeling kind of cute and sassy today, so thought I would attempt to take some belly pictures of myself. I thought they turned out kind of fun, so decided to share . . .

traditional "28 weeks" shot


a little "artsy fartsy" just for fun


And where was Alyssa during all this?
Trying on Daddy's boxers, of course!
(Actually this happened last week, but I just got around to downloading it and its too funny not to share)

I think I can . . . I think I can . . . maybe . . . maybe . . . not . . . ugh.

My mom is coming tomorrow and bring with her her friend Mary and my dad's cousin Shirley who is visiting from Oregon for a week. This will be the first time that Mom and Mary have seen the new house all decked out for Christmas the first time Shirley has seen it at all, so I am DETERMINED to have it sparkling. I made out my anal retentive list this morning (divided up according to rooms and chores per room . . . very organized) and I was off. Alyssa was such a great helper/stay out of the way-er and I felt like I got a lot accomplished this morning. I fed her lunch, got her down for a nap, made myself lunch and now I've lost my drive. I feel like the "Little Engine that Could" as he's approaching the top of the mountain. Chugging along very, very, very slowly, straining to get up the motivation to go keep cleaning.

Truth be told for the most part, the house is presentable. There are still a lot of boxes around of decorations that need to be moved back to the basement, but that will probably be Adam's job once he gets home anyway. No one is REALLY going to notice whether my kitchen floor is mopped or not, but I feel like its been so long since several of the "less noticable" places in my house have been cleaned. I swear that Alyssa's bathroom floor got mopped today for the first time since we moved in 7 months ago (usually I just figure that wiping up tons of bathwater that gets tossed over the side is just as good as mopping ~ I would make Martha proud, huh?).

Okay, I'm going to go at least get our bedroom/bathroom/closet "good" cleaned. And then I'll say "forget you" to the rest of my list or maybe I'll have my drive back. I should be on the downward slope of my cleaning list by then.

What a lame blog entry! lol

Oh POOP!!!!

My child is obsessed with poop. I don't know where she gets it. The most funny thing about it is that when she sees/thinks about it she'll say in this completely horrified little toddler voice "ohhhh poop!"

The other night I was reading her her touch and feel Farm Animals book. When I turned the page to the sheep, immediately I heard "ohhhhh poop!" I couldn't figure out what she was talking about until I noticed that, yes, my brilliant child, I guess that log does kind of look like poop. So over and over again we had this discussion:

Alyssa: "Ohhhhhh poop!"
Me: "No, that's a log"
Alyssa: "log"
Me: "that's right"
*few seconds pass*
Alyssa: "Ohhhhhhh poop, mommy!"

But today's "poop" may have taken the cake ~ we need to add this to our "list of things we never thought we would say to our children" that Adam blogged about.

Sitting down to have supper, I actually found myself saying, "No Sweetie, that isn't poop, its sausage". Of course, a few minutes later I asked her if she wanted a bite of poop while offering her the sausage link . . . I like to keep my girl on her toes.

&*$(*&#$%(&*$&(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just spent well over an hour working on the event calendars that I'm making as Christmas presents for some family/friends this year only to realize that my layout for the top of the calendar was too big. Two months (times 4 calendars) down the toilet. Crud. (I'm trying to cut down on my "naughty language", so crud will have to do) I was sooo happy with the way they turned out and now I'm not sure things will fit as well (if at all) when I make it smaller.

Crud. Crud. Crud.

Thanksgiving Photos

I'm such a slacker when it comes to Thanksgiving pictures or maybe my family just isn't Thanksgivingly photogenic. There usually isn't a whole lot that I can find to take pictures of, but I did want to share my favorite from this year of Alyssa with her Uncle Chris. I love how it looks like she just absolutely adores him (and how he looks absolutely perplexed by the puzzle . . . would you believe he's a doctor?!) . . .



and a family one, just for fun . .


and one of Alyssa and my Thanksgiving art project . . .

What a great start to the week!

Normally when I'm woken up by an early morning phone call it makes me crabby, but this morning's phone call was a welcome one! It came from my very good friend Christy's mom announcing that Christy was at the hospital in labor. I had the supreme honor of being in the delivery room as her family welcomed their 3rd baby boy, Samuel John, at 11:24 this morning. The "little" guy came into the world at 9 lbs 13 oz and 21 1/2 inches long ~ After spending a few hours with him, I predict he's going to be the mellow one in the family.

Welcome to the world, Sam,

and huge congrats to Jeff and Christy and
big brothers Evan and Charlie!!!

And a special shout out to my wonderful husband who stayed home from work today to watch Alyssa(I don't think he really was TOO upset at staying home, though). And bonus points to him for doing lots 'o dishes while I was gone!!!

What tarot card are YOU?

You are The Star

Hope, expectation, Bright promises.

The Star is one of the great cards of faith, dreams realised

The Star is a card that looks to the future. It does not predict any immediate or powerful change, but it does predict hope and healing. This card suggests clarity of vision, spiritual insight. And, most importantly, that unexpected help will be coming, with water to quench your thirst, with a guiding light to the future. They might say you're a dreamer, but you're not the only one.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Where, oh where, have my Tums gone?!

Unfortunately, I know, they're still at my parents house.

The entire family (dogs included) headed to my parents house for the weekend, mostly to celebrate the first of 3 Thanksgivings at Kikki and Charlie's house today. I ran home after we ate to pack up everything as quickly as possible so that we could get back on the road and stop to chop down a Christmas tree on our way home. I packed so quickly that I forgot my bottle of Tums.

My sweet, wonderful, can't-live-without-them-because-I-have-constant-pregnancy- induced-heartburn Tums. And then the damn tree farm wasn't even open!

Maybe ice cream will have the same soothing effect as Tums. Its all about the calcium, right?

And before I wrap up, a little "audience participation" portion . . . in your opinion, is the singular of Tums still a Tums or is it a Tum? Things that Adam and I get to ponder before bed.

Ahhh . . . the ladies!

They did not disappoint!!! :)

We had a great time at the concert last night. One of the highlights of the evening included getting to eat all my own croutons at dinner instead of having to share/give them all to Alyssa! Our seats were really good, no annoying distracting neighbors (although the people in front of us were tossing back the beers pretty quickly and I was annoyed because I could have gone for a beer or two!), they played lots of good "oldies", and did lots of fun "improv" songs. I think Adam enjoyed it more because they played some older songs that he knew. I'm not completely in love with the new album, so I was kind of glad to see them stick to the "classics", but I was bummed they didn't sing the "Nun" song that's my current fave from the new album.

I called my Dad (my parents were at the house watching Alyssa) when we were got out of the concert to let him know that we were on our way home and he told me that Alyssa was still "up and kicking". I didn't really believe him . . . I couldn't believe that she could still be awake at 11PM at night and not having a breakdown, but sure enough at almost 11:30 when we got home she was sitting on the floor happy as a clam playing with blocks. My parents bring out the night owl in her! On the up side, both of us can be sleepy/lazy together tomorrow.

Bun had a great time at the concert, too. He definitely had some faves . . . I swear during "Million Dollars" he had his little head up under my rib cage and was head banging his heart out. As Julai said . . . he's going to be a "Ladies man". She's punny!

Eric ~ Hope you got to hear "Old Apartment" either via voicemail or home phone.
Angie ~ Sorry for harassing you if Eric wasn't around ~ please forgive me!

Gimme CAKE!!!!

I was on the phone with Julai this afternoon talking about/finalizing plans for tomorrow night (BARENAKED LADIES, BABY! And date night with my handsome hubby ~ and my beautiful Julai and BradD). We were talking about how our weekends went and she mentioned that last weekend was Brad's parents birthdays, so she bought a TRIPLE CHOCOLATE birthday cake for them. Now, I'm not at all a chocolate cake person. I love white cake, I love marble cake, I love many kinds of cake, but chocolate is not too high on my list. But I decided that I. Must. Have. Chocolate. Cake. ASAP. I was going to buy one at the grocery store when Alyssa and I make our run, but I'm being thrifty lately and did notice that I had a chocolate cake mix downstairs. Yummy! And I have some funfetti frosting with sprinkles to put on it, too (who cares that the sprinkles are actually 4th of July ones, right?).

Damn, she's handy!

Here's what happens when I ask Adam to vacuum for me . . .

I told him having kids would be beneficial! ;)

Christmas is coming 'round the corner!?

I feel like I'm behind on my Christmas shopping.

Its November 11th.

This is so wrong.

I blame stores/merchants/malls for putting out decorations and advertisements 3 months before Christmas since my body/psyche is still used to the holiday season being approximately a month long. Adam blames me because I bought a decorative sled in October. But it was only $5 and I wanted to get one before they ran out or only had crappy, scuffed up ones left!!!

Regardless I'm starting to feel panicked about getting my shopping done. And then I start panicking and thinking I'll have everything bought by December 1st and I won't get to enjoy any TRUE holiday shopping. I actually love shopping during December. Not with a kid on the weekends, mind you ~ I either have to go during the week with child (good time to get the Santa photo opportunity in) or on the weekend sans child, but I love the crowds and the bustle and the lights and the decorations and the chill in the air. I love the holiday season!

Ahhh motherhood . . .

I'm sitting at the computer catching up on blogs and listening to Alyssa rummage through the closet behind me. All of the sudden she comes running over to me screaming "Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!" and she proudly holds out her hand to show me 4 raisins. My reply "Where did you get those?" as I'm trying to think back to the last time I gave her raisins . . . and then I proceed to let her eat them because, hey, they're fruit!

If I could go back and tell my "first time pregnant self" these type of stories, I think I would make my toes curl.

Bun update

I had my 24 week appointment with one of my midwives today. Not that I think anyone REALLY cares about my appointments, but I wanted to blog some of the details just to keep track. So if/when we have a 3rd baby I can go back and remember what is "normal" for me.

*Total weight gain so far is about 8 lbs, which CeCe complimented me on. Not too often that someone compliments your weight GAIN. lol
*Blood pressure was normal
*Heart rate was in 150s (I would still swear he was a girl if going by the heart rate; Alyssa's was always slower, but girls are supposed to be faster)
*I'm measuring 27 weeks. CeCe told me not to be concerned about that, and I'm not because I was consistently measuring 4-6 weeks farther with Alyssa and she turned out just fine.
*He's breech right now, but again I'm not too concerned. Plenty of time for the little guy to flip flop many, many times.

I have my glucose test next appointment (keep your fingers crossed that I pass it so that I don't have to give up sweets and goodies for Christmas!!!!). After my next appointment I start going every two weeks. Where has the time gone?!?!

You know what I hate?

When my pregnant/mommy brain forgets to the run the dishwasher for a day or so, even if its completely loaded with soap in it, then I finally get around to running it/unloading clean dishes only to find that I've filled it again with the dirty dishes in the sink/on the counter that have been waiting for their turn in the dishwasher. It seems like such a wasted effort. Although the kitchen does look a heck of a lot better once I get everything sorted out and put where in belongs.

*big sigh*

MyGym

I took Alyssa to try out a MyGym class this morning and it went REALLY well. She had a HUGE smile on her face probably 95% of the time and as soon as I saw that it totally justified spending the money. There were 4 teachers in her class, two men and two women. They were all absolutely wonderful with the kids and really good at getting Alyssa to let them help her on some of the equipment rather than sticking to me like glue, which is what usually happens when we got to parks, etc. And they got bonus points for putting a teacher next to me during circle time that would take over if some of the movements got to "out of hand" for a pregnant mommy to do. My only complaint is that while it is really fun for the kids, the pace moves a little quickly at times. They start off letting the kids just run around for a few minutes and then move to circle time where they do a song and "muscle warm-up". Then comes probably 20 - 30 minutes of more free play, but within that time there are "centers" set up. One group of centers was walking on a balance beam, swinging from a rope, and practicing front rolls/somersaults; the next center was swings (some double with two kids and some single with just one, which was kind of cool) and "bucking horse" which consisted of riding a plastic rocking horse (supervised) down a slide and then the teacher would rock the horse around in the circle. With the centers it was like they could have exactly so many minutes to do the activity and then WHOOSH ~ they had to wisk it away to move on to the next thing even if kids were still playing. I would have been more inclined to leave something out until the kid gets bored with it and then move on, but I suppose they do know what they are doing! They also had about 5 minutes of "alone play" where all the parents left the play area to leave the kids alone with the 4 teachers and some musical toys, trucks, sorting blocks kind of toys. Alyssa could still see me, but I guess they try to get them to play on their own. Maybe it was just that it was her first time there, but Alyssa kept walking around to see what all was out to play with and then as soon as she decided what she wanted to play with WHOOSH; everything is wisked away again. Which was what led to a bit of a melt down the last couple minutes of class, but overall she did really great and I think she had a good time.

I didn't get a great vibe from any of the moms, so I'm not sure that this will be nearly as great of a mommy-mommy bonding experience for me, but its really fun to get out and do something different with Alyssa, especially since it gives us some special time before the baby comes. And she can go to 2 "free plays" during the week, so hopefully Adam will be able to take her to play every once in a while, too, and they can have some daddy/daughter time.

PS ~ Out of the 4 girls in the class, two are named Alyssa . . . guess we weren't nearly as creative as we thought!

Halloween ~ then and now

Some of the moms on my "Born In October" board posted "then and now" pictures of their little ones at Halloween. I couldn't get pictures to upload there, so thought I would put it on my blog.

Halloween 2004 (approximately 2 weeks old)


Halloween 2005

Halloween 2006

I'm a believer . . .

I have a confession . . . I don't really believe that caffeine and sugar can "pump you up" as much as some people do.

Or at least I didn't before last night.

Before my beautiful sweet child ate 3 smarties, 2 fruity/frootie tootsie rolls, and part of a sucker. Before my beautiful sweet child ran laps around the inside of her crib, twirling her diaper over her head, and squealing like a crazy woman. And this was an hour after her normal bedtime.

Okay, so maybe sugar does have an impact on kids.

I blame the whole experience on Aunt Julai for giving her the smarties, btw. See her pushing her devil candy on my poor innocent baby?!? The horror!!!!!

How honest are you?

You Are 8% Brutally Honest

You're not very honest - even with yourself sometimes. While it's good to be diplomatic, all your little lies are turning you into a pathological liar!

How Brutally Honest Are You?

Just another one of those things to add to my "things that make you go . . . hmmmmmm" list. Pathological liar, huh? Harsh!

Weekly dose of cuteness

First a story . . . yesterday I was printing off some pictures for my mom. Alyssa has an intense love for our printer (hence the sucker I found wedged up in it ~ she was sharing with her bud, I think) and for all things that come out of it, so I told her as she was reaching for the photo paper coming out to "leave it be and we'll go play in your room". She looked at me in a slightly perplexed way, pulled her "b" (binky) out of her mouth, put it next to the printer, and toddled out of the room. Just doing what her mommy asked!

We missed bathtime last night, so I told Alyssa she could take a bath in the BIG tub. I have a hard time getting down to give her a bath in her bathtub, but since our jacuzzi tub is bigger, its not as big of a deal. And she loves the bubbles that come out of the jets, so its a win/win situation. Just for fun I decided to go a bit bubble crazy and add some bubble bath . . . and what fun we had!

Most recent addiction

African Webcam

One of the moms on my October '04 board posted a link to this webcam and I think it is just the coolest thing. I've actually seen quite a few animals, but warning ~ its addicted! I've had the most luck seeing animals between 8 and 9 AM, but the other moms have had a lot of luck around 11PM/Midnight for those of you who are nightowls. We in the K house are well on our way through our sleep cycle by then. :)

I just wish I had a list of possible animals so that I could identify them more clearly. I think I've seen rhinos, buffalo, and a hyena so far. And you can hear lots of insects and birds, especially when its night time over there.

Wish I had x-ray vision . . .

I told Adam many months ago that next time we have a baby I want a video monitor because I'm SOOOO tired of the stupid regular baby monitors that we've been through. I'm tired of messing with static and tempermental dials and all that junk. And I also thought it would be nice to see if that's really "OMG, I need you RIGHT NOW" cry, or if its a "Okay, I'm going to scream bloodly murder for 15 seconds, but then drop right back to sleep unless you make the mistake of coming in here; then I'll be up for another hour" kind of cries.

And seeing as I keep hearing these funny thumps and "whoop! whoop!" noises coming from Alyssa's room I would really love to be able to see what she's actually doing.

*updated!* Our baby . . .

has a PENIS!

Ultrasound pictures and more details to follow as soon as possible! :)

**updated 10/17**



So, the news that we are having a boy was not what I was really expecting to hear, but I think it was what I "needed" to hear. I'm feeling so much more relaxed about bringing another baby into the family because I know that the mommy/daughter bond that I share with Alyssa will still be fully intact. I truly feel now that we're adding on to our family instead of trying to make another child fit in somewhere, if that makes any sense.

And I think its kind of cool that things will be "even" now. Not only will we have 2 boys and 2 girls (at least human-count-wise), but Adam can have his daddy's girl and I can have my momma's boy. And come wedding time Adam gets to do the daddy/daughter dance and I get to do the mother/son dance.

It just all around feels perfect. Not sure if this little guy will complete our family or not (Adam seems to think so because I think he's already making plans for a little "snip-snip"), but I think he will absolutely be a very positive addition. And now Adam doesn't have to worry about me going out and buying our kids matching outfits. But darn it, my kids WILL have coordinating outfits for special occasions and I better not get any crap for it. ;)

And for those who care, my 20 week appointment went pretty well. I did have a pretty big weight jump this time, but considering up until now I'd only gained 1 pound, that's not too bad. (My midwife said that considering that she wasn't going to give me a hard time about it ~ yay!). I do think some of it was water retention because I have been loading up on the sodium and down on the water lately. I talked to Jenda about my back/tailbone/hip pain and she said that I have a joint at the bottom of my spine that is basically slipping out of place. Good news is that it goes right back in. Its fairly common, but does suck. But if it were to slip out and not go back in, all I would just have to see a physical therapist or chiropracter to fix me up. Much better than the "neurological defects/damage" that I had been reading about. Damn babycenter.com anyway! Oh, and once again I was complimented on my cervix length ~ last time my cervix was a "fortress"; this time its "Fort Knox". No preterm labor for this lady, I guess. Heartbeat was steady at 136 during the u/s and 140 during my appointment, blood pressure was good, and I broke down/got bullied into getting one of those damn flu shots. And I haven't been able to lay on my left side because my arm STILL hurts.

And the festivies wind down . . .

Today marked the end of Alyssa's "birthday week festivities". Thank goodness! Mama is pooped!
We had a really great party today. Unfortunately we had some last minute cancellations, but thank you to everyone who did come and for all the WONDERFUL gifts. Our friends really love to spoil our little peanut . . . she's such a lucky girl. I'm starting to think that maybe we should have looked for a bigger house. ;)

Special thanks to my handsome hubby who stuck with me this weekend even through my massive breakdown this morning. I bit off a bit more (okay, waaay more) than I could chew this year and I was a totally mess about 11:30 this morning. I was in such pain that I wanted to cry, I was crampy and knew that I needed to sit down and chill out for the baby, but things weren't nearly ready enough for company, so I kept plugging away. I kept thinking that I had to make this birthday special for Alyssa because its the last one she'll have where I'm completely 100% devoted to her. I want to her look back at pictures of this day and know how much her mommy loves her and thinks that she's the most special thing in the world. I know in my heart that she'll know that anyway because of plain old every day things, not just the big "special" days, but for some reason throwing her the biggest bestest party I could think of made me feel a little better. I know its perfectly normal to have these "issues" with being pregnant with a 2nd child, but man, I wish I wasn't so freakin' crazy all the time!

Anyway, pictures to follow soon (hopefully) since most of the pictures today were taken with my mom's camera. I was too lazy to find someone to take pictures of Alyssa's opening presents with my camera and since my mom was taking lots, I figured I may as well just put all the party pictures on there.

I'm ready for bed.

Starting to panic a little . . .

about "bringing home baby". I was talking to Dr. K (our pediatrician) today about what I should be/could be doing to prepare Alyssa for a new baby. He told me that there isn't really a whole lot I can be doing to full prepare her because she's just too young to comprehend/understand. The analogy he gave me was to imagine that one day Adam comes home from work and says, "Honey, this is my new wife. I still love you and you're still my wife, but she's going to live here and be my wife, too". I keep repeating that over and over in my head and its just bringing up all these fears and horrible feelings I had when I first found out I was pregnant. The night I got my positive test I could barely look at Alyssa without bursting into tears and feeling like I had totally just ruined her life. I know that in the end I am giving her an amazing gift in a sibling, I just hope and pray that when the time comes I'll be strong enough/loving enough to make the transition as smooth as possible so that she never feels like she is being replaced, instead she feels blessed to have someone new and very special in her life to look up to her and love her.

2 years ago today . . .

Happy "Alyssa's birthday eve" day . . .

I had lunch with my mom at Golden Palace (Chicken Chow Mein) ~ Yum!
Mom and I went to Target.
I "registered" via phone with one of the nurses at the hospital since I was going to be induced the next night (Alyssa had other plans).
I went to Mark and Janna's to pick up hand me downs from Camdyn for the baby.
I made meatloaf for Adam for dinner ~ the first time I ever made meatloaf for him because I don't like it ~ as a "thanks for being such a supportive husband during my pregnancy" present.
I spent 30 minutes on the elliptical machine while Adam talked to his Aunt Nancy on the phone ~ once hearing what I was doing, she predicted that I would go into labor that night.
My water broke at 11:15 PM. It feels like it was just yesterday!

My heart hurts. :(

I took Alyssa to her 2 year appointment today. She did a lot better than I expected, but the shots were pretty traumatic for both of us. They use grape flavored tongue depressors to check out the kids' mouths and then let them keep them and chew on them, which she usually thinks is pretty cool. Especially today since she's working on her upper 2 year molars. Until she jammed the thing into the back of her throat. While we were waiting for the nurse to come back and do shots. So unfortunately she was pretty hysterical before the shots even happened. I did get her calmed down in between "beatings", so at least I didn't have to hold down a screaming child for her 2 shots. She kept touching her legs ever so gently and then she would say "ouch mommy" and start crying again on the way home. It made it extra worse for me that I was so on the fence about getting her the flu shot and if I had just held my ground and refused it she wouldn't have been in quite so much pain. It all happened so quickly and they didn't even ask if I wanted to do a flu shot. I feel like its just expected and that I'm a bad mom if I say I don't want it. I gave her a sucker on the way home and I think I need to go find myself some serious comfort food, too.

She's growing perfectly, though ~ 29 lbs 6 oz (up 21 lbs and 2.5 oz since birth and about 10 lbs since 1 year) and 34 inches (up 13 inches since birth). Right around 70/80th percentile for both.

I think I'll make some birthday cupcakes this afternoon for tomorrow and let her eat as many as she wants to make up for the bad morning. Plus we got to the doctor's office at 11:20 (appt was at 11:30). It was almost noon before we got in to a room and 12:50 before we left. Dr. K. did spend quite a bit of time with us and gave me some great advice about preparing Alyssa for the new baby, but that's a LOT of wait time. Especially when it runs right through lunch/nap time.)

Tuesday night blahs . . .

Alyssa and I had the pleasure of dining with the Dwight family tonight! It has been waaaay too long since we've hung out. Since Adam is on his "treck across Nebraska via UP train", Alyssa and I were bacheloretting it tonight, so Angie invited us to go to Pepperjax with them. Its "DINE OUT" night in O-town. (Part of the sales for participating restaurants from today are donated to a local food bank or something like that). We hadn't been there in a long time, so it was good to get out of the house (no cooking for me tonight!) and see the D-fam.

Now I'm waiting for my sheets to finish drying in the dryer so that I can head to bed. I've got about 2 1/2 hours of TiVoed shows calling my name. I decided to put our matress pad warmer (best invention EVER!!!!!) on today since its sooo chilly and decided since I had to strip the bed anyway, I may as well wash sheets. Probably something that should have been done earlier in the day, but oh well.

We had Alyssa's 2 year pictures done today and they turned out FANTASTIC! She did such a good job. It was really cute ~ she kept saying "more!" after she would have a picture taken. And she loved seeing herself on the computer screen/tv monitor. After Adam gets the pictures put up on our website, I'll post some here to share.

Oh! I think I heard the dryer buzzer! HOORAY!

Teamwork

I meant to blog about this last weekend, but it slipped my mind until today.

I have a confession. Adam and I don't work well together most of the time. :) We're both stubborn, we want to do things OUR way, etc. That's what we get for marrying Tauruses! Anyway, a few weeks ago we sat down and managed to agree on a box of flower bulbs that we wanted to plant out front. It arrived last Thursday, so I was going to just take control of the situation and start planting on Saturday (another thing about us ~ we don't always work well together and we BOTH are famous for starting projects and not finishing them. See yesterday's entry about Alyssa's scrapbook and quilt). It turned into both of us working on the flower bed; I was pulling up mulch/dirt and he was transplanting 2 of the 3 rose bushes. And then it turned into "pregnant Christi sits on her arse instructing big, strong Adam on where to put the bulbs". We got all 100 bulbs planted without an argument, bloodshed, or talk of divorce. I was REALLY proud of us! I think that maybe Adam was willing to give in; or maybe he just took the time to listen to what I had to say. ;) But either way, it was really nice being able to work on a project together.

One small step towards maybe, someday, being able to talk about what we want to do to finish the basement. Because I'm sure we've both got layouts already set in stone in our minds. At least I do.

I'm bored.

Warning ~ bored ramblings ahead!

I don't want to clean ~ the house only gets messed up 10 minutes later, anyway. And why put all my energy into cleaning early in the week when I have to clean for Alyssa's b-day party this weekend anyway? It used to be that I could power clean a week before an event and then keep on top of things until said event . . . not possible these days with a child, a husband, and 2 dogs.

I don't even have anything on TiVo to watch, how sad is that? Must mean that I need to get addicted to some more shows. HA!

I don't want to go take a nap even though I'm tired . . . I would feel like I was wasting the afternoon (because surfing the internet is SOOO much more productive).

I could work on Alyssa's quilt, but I can't find my pins and I don't think I should attempt piecing it together without straight pins. Or crooked ones for that matter. ;)

I could get out my scrapbooking stuff since I'm sooooooooo far behind on Alyssa's book. But then I would just have to clean it up again. Bah.

Maybe I should start with a shower. Haven't done that yet today since I did go to jazzercise this morning.

I made Alyssa a "real" lunch consisting of fish sticks, oranges, and pears. And "cheeps" (chips) of course. Because when she said chips all cute in her little toddler accent I just can't help myself. And I baked oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. And jazzercised my pregnant bootay as previously mentioned. But that's about all I've accomplished in the 6+ hours I've been up. Seems kind of lame. Oh! I found a new insurance agent! But I didn't call them . . . I did set up an appointment with our "old" agent that I have no intention of keeping.

I have to figure something out for supper. I hate that.

HOORAY!!! My Julai just called and saved me from my boredom! She's good like that and I "big bowl love" her times infinity!!!!

Favorite Commercial . . .

currently I LOVE the Ford (I think its Ford) commerical where the girl is in the drive through picking up her dry cleaning and she gives the lady money to pay for part of the hot guy behind her's dry cleaning and asks her to give him her card.

I want RMP to pick up the story line and run with it. I want to know what happens!!! There's too much possibility to just stop with a 30 second commercial. How about it, guys? Are you up to the challenge?

Pregnancy complaints

The past few days I've been REALLY craving wings from Wing Stop (reminds you of the good old days, doesn't it, Eric and Angie?). Today I finally broke down and picked some up. BIG mistake!

Pregnant Christi + Wings = NO WAY JOSE!!! My stomach is soooooo upset. Come to think of it, I think wings bothered Angie during her pregnancy, too. Maybe its a "girl" thing? (I'm so wishy washy about predicting the sex of this kid; a week from Monday can't come soon enough. How on earth did we wait with Alyssa?!?)

Baby Bun is "half baked" tomorrow. I can't believe I'm at that 1/2 way point already. Its going so fast, yet so slow. My one and only REAL complaint is that I'm soooo tired of feeling like someone has hit me in the arse with a sledge hammer. I hate all this tailbone pain. It can go away any time now. I feel bad complaining because I know it'll only get worse before it gets better, but its really, really, really, really annoying.

The good 'ol days . . .

I used to love my mood ring . . . brings back fun memories. :)

Your Mood Ring is Yellow

Imaginative Wondering Thoughts Peaceful

Mood Ring Generator

Sad

I can't ever actually remember my mom bringing treats to any of my classes when I was in preschool/elementary school, but I had this "fairy tale" fantasy of being super mom who showed up on their child's birthday with these incredibly decorated, awe-inspiring treats for my children's classmates. I was shopping yesterday with my friend Staci and stumbled across this SUPER CUTE container of really unique Halloween sprinkles. It had your usual pumpkins, ect, but it also had head stones, witches hats, black cats, etc. As I was showing it to her she asked if I was going to buy it and I said something along the lines of "I would in a heartbeat if I had a whole bunch of kids to make cupcakes or cookies for. Like a preschool class". She then informed me that in the public school system here, you can't bring any homemade treats to your kids classes. They all have to be store bought AND individually packaged. So you can't even buy a dozen cookies/cupcakes from the bakery. How freaking sad is it that I'm raising my children in a world where moms can't "bake a little love" for their kids and their classmates?! I guess I should be thankful that schools are taking precautions, but I hate that it has to be so extreme.

My parents have new next door neighbors that moved in a few weeks ago. Kind of a weird situation, the new neighbors actually live full time in California, but want a "summer home" in Iowa. They'll probably only be around about 3 months out of the year; a couple weeks here and a couple weeks there because their daughter and grandchildren live in my hometown. When the neighbors found out that my parents were flying to Colorado last week they offered to drive them to and from the airport (about an hour each way) EVEN THOUGHT THEY JUST MET THEM! They actually had to leave at 7 AM to catch their flight out to Colorado and the neighbors were in the driveway 15 minutes early offering to load suitcases into the back of their car. My parents were blown away by their generosity, but my dad was telling me today, you almost have to wonder what their "deal" is. They've offered the use of their extra garage stalls to my parents during the winter since they're only keeping 1 car at the house and my parents have two vehicles and only one garage. They've given my parents a key to the house, permission to move their car if they need to . . . its an amazing situation, one that gives me hope, but also one that makes me wonder if they are for real.

I hate how jaded the world has become.

This makes me happy!

No matter how big/deep of a funk I'm in, seeing this makes me smile. :)

Hired Help

I used to think that if I could hire one person to help out in one aspect of my life it would be a housekeeper. Then I realized how much I really hate planning meals. I love to cook, but I just hate the whole "what should we have" conversation that I have with the voices in my head. So I decided that the perfect "hired hand" for me would be a chef. One that would let me cook occasionally and would make super yummy fancy food that was actually quite weight watchers friendly so that I would lose weight in the process. Not too much to ask, right?

Today I have changed my mind again. I want someone who can pretend to be me and deal with the mind-numbing crap that is insurance companies. I swear that our healthy insurance people have 1 person working that can answer calls. They make you jump through so many automated selections when you call in that you either a) get your question answered by a generic number or b) kill yourself because its just a heck of a lot easier than trying to figure out where you're going and what you need to do c) happen to slip through the cracks and stumble upon the one person who works there who's name is "Jermone" and does NOT sound like he wants to be talking about vaginal deliveries. And then there's the geniuses that work at the home insurance company, but I'm not even going to go there. Jeff ~ I miss you!!! Couldn't you just do insurance on the side? Please? I'll let you claim to live with us so that you don't actually have to take up residency here . . .

Mommy stuff

I haven't updated in a long time, so here's my attempt . . . boring as it is.

I'm trying to get Alyssa's birthday party invitations made before the weekend in case we decide to go to Colorado. I have a cute theme and some good coordination going on, but I'm just not getting "IT". I put a lot of pressure on msyelf to have "perfect" invitations. People have come to expect it from me, and frankly, I enjoy the praise . . . makes me feel good about myself. Everyone needs a little pick me up/pat on the back, right?

I've been feeling really down lately about not feeling like I'm doing "enough" with Alyssa. I had visions when I thought about being a stay at home mom of play dates and going to Mommy and Me classes and having coffee with all my SAHM friends. As they say, reality BITES! Not that I don't LOVE being a SAHM and I'm soo thankful that I'm able to spend my days with her, I just feel like sometimes we just sit around and stare at each other. I feel like I should be spending the entire day teaching her things or doing activites with her and it just doesn't happen. I blame Dora and her gang. When I was a kid the only kids show on during the day was Sesame Street or Mr. Rogers. Now you've got ALL these choices of kids shows and so kids are knowing how to count, write, identify colors/numbers/shapes, speak multiple languages, ect by age 2. I don't think I knew that until at least 4 or 5. Its a lot of pressure to be the mommy to an almost 2 year old.

Anyway, to make a long story short (and to get to bed relatively soon), I've decided to sign Alyssa and I up for a gymnastics/tumbling type class at MyGym for 8 weeks. She'll have her regular class for an hour each week and then we can go for 2 "Free Play" sessions a week. I'm hoping that maybe it'll work out that Adam could take her to one of these on the weekend or in the evening for some daddy/daughter time. I'm also going to sign her up for "Shrimp" swimming lessons at the YMCA. I mentioned something to Angie about this today and it sounds like she and Eric may be interested in taking Lenka, too, which would be a great time! We don't get to hang out with the Dwights NEARLY enough anymore. Now we just need Chad and Jenn to bring Gabe and Alyssa's boyfriend Noah and we could have "Margarita night ~ family style"!

Happy Talk Like A Pirate Day to you! Arrrr!

My pirate name is:

Dirty Charity Rackham

You're the pirate everyone else wants to throw in the ocean -- not to get rid of you, you understand; just to get rid of the smell. You have the good fortune of having a good name, since Rackham (pronounced RACKem, not rack-ham) is one of the coolest sounding surnames for a pirate. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from piratequiz.com.
part of the fidius.org network

Prelude to fall

We're doing a "jungle animals" theme for Alyssa's 2nd birthday next month, so yesterday we dressed her in her best animal print and headed to the lake to take some "jungle-ish" pics of our little animal, hoping to get a good one for her b-day invite. I'm not going to share the one we decided on for her invite so that it can be a surprise for those of you coming to the PAR-TAY, but here's a few of my other faves. She's such the photogenic little cheeseball ~ if only she would have left the super cute lion's mane/ears headband I bought her on.

on the prowl . . .

excuse the tree growing out of her head . . . nature at its best
and one to show that we actually WERE at the lake

Just a country girl at heart!

Yesterday morning Alyssa and I were on our way to jazzercise and just as we turned onto the street that runs by the park that's about a block and a half from our house I noticed about 1/2 dozen *Canadian Geese wandering the street. I was soooooooo excited. I stopped the car and I was bouncing around in the drivers seat saying, "Look Alyssa! Look at the geese! Say 'Hi Geese'! Aren't they pretty?!". And Alyssa is sitting calmly in her carseat giving me the "yeah, whatever Mom" look. I wish I had my camera because they were seriously about 2 feet away from us and I think they are just beautiful.

I get so excited when I see "wildlife" nowadays. I get excited at seeing squirrels for crying out loud. Its sad that the most exciting thing we see in our yard is a rabbit ~ or maybe if we're lucky a bird!!! I want more animals. The kind that come and go as they please, not the kind that live in our house and EAT OUR BAGS OF DORITOS like SOME animals I know. Damn you, Lexi.

** Disclaimer**I was telling this story to Angie yesterday and she wanted to know how I knew that the geese were from Canada. I should have asked them to make sure I was getting all my story facts right, but they LOOKed like Canadian Geese. They may have been immigrants, though.

Oh Alyssa . . .

I just want to bottle up her sweetness some days.

This afternoon Joey was chewing on her bone and Lexi started "making a move" on her. Alyssa rushed over to protect her best bud Joey and shooed Lexi away from her. But THEN my little sweetheart went into the living, dug through the dog's toy box until she found Lexi's bone, and then brought Lexi's bone into the family room and gave it to her. HOW SWEET IS THAT?!?! Then a little while later Lexi stole Joey's bone (evidently the bigger the dog the smaller the bone needs to be), so Alyssa found the other bone and gave it to Joey so that everyone could be happy. How do they learn/comprehend this stuff at such a young age? I'm so stinkin' proud of her.

A not so proud moment to even things out ~ it finally stopped raining enough so that we could go out and play. It was Alyssa's first time playing in the backyard since the fence got put up. Within 5 minutes of being outside (I wasn't completely paying attention to Alyssa because I was planting some mums that my mom bought us on Friday) I heard this little "mama, mama, MAMA!" coming from behind me. I turned around and couldn't see Alyssa anywhere. Little stinker had figured out how to get the gate open and was standing on the other side of the fence wanting to get back in. I think her Daddy the engineer is going to have to rig something up to make sure that she (and the dogs) stay in the yard.

Okay, I have to admit, I am a little bit proud of her for figuring out the gate . . . she's such a smart little cookie!

He's home ~ hooray!

Adam arrived home safe and sound around 1 PM this afternoon. Its so nice to have him home. I knew that I missed him, but didn't really realize how much until I was "dual-parenting" again. Although I must say that I was pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed doing the single parent thing (for a couple days) at least. It was kind of nice to be fun mom and hard ass mom instead of just hard ass mom to Adam's fun dad. ;)

And he brought us home presents! Alyssa is now the proud owner of her very first Penn State t-shirt (but I have to point out that she had an Iowa State one first . . . so :P. Not that I *went* to Iowa State, but I wouldn't be bragging about a Midland t-shirt)

We're going to see the ladies!!!

Barenaked ones, that is! I got tickets today for us to see BNL in November and we're in the 18th row. Not as good as Jen's 2nd row ones, but I'm still pretty excited!

16 week appointment

My mom, Alyssa, and I went to my 16 week appointment today with my midwife. Pretty boring "show", so that's good news. Blood pressure was normal (I give complete credit to the fence guys for this!), heartbeat was strong at 144, I gained my first pound so far, and we scheduled the BIG ultrasound!



Hooray!

Halleluiah!

After 4 months and 10 days of being "open yarded" we are proud owners of a brand, new FENCE! I swear my stress level/blood pressure has dropped waaaay down and its such a relief to be able to just open the back door and let the dogs run out. I feel like a good 100 lbs has been lifted off my shoulders . . . hmmm, that's how much Lexi weighs. Coincidence?!

Say what?

Adam started a post on his blog of words that he could think of that Alyssa is saying. I added a few to his list, and then started a list of my own earlier this week. So here is a list of Alyssa's understandable/consistent vocabulary 1 month and 4 days shy of her 2nd birthday:

Mama/Mommy
Dada/Daddy
Joe
Lexi
Mine
Shoe
Go
Done
Ouch/Ouchie
Uh oh
Please
Bite
More
Elmo
Up
Down
Cheese
Cheers
Change
Baby
No
Fish
Pooh
Trash
Bumblebee (umblebee)
Hi
Bye/Bye-bye
Bubbles
See

And sentances:
Where go?
Here you go.

She's pretty good about repeating things if you ask her to, but those are the ones that she'll say pretty consistently or on her own. Man, she says more things than I thought.

Time for . . . Arts and Crafts with Mommy

I was looking through the office closet this morning for something fun to do with Alyssa and stumbled across some canvases that I had bought on sale several months ago. I decided to just give Alyssa a brush and some paint and let her "creative juices flow". I'm pretty impressed with the end result. Definitely hang-worthy, I would say!

Emotional stuff!

This mommy stuff is emotional stuff! (I'm sure the pregnant hormones don't help any)

This afternoon I put Alyssa down for a nap, per usual, and then settled down in the bedroom with my lunch and my Adam to watch some TiVo. After about 30 minutes we got up so that Adam could let Lexi out and I could go get some more water, but when I opened the door, I heard some whining/crying from Alyssa's room. I immediately looked towards the damn baby monitor sure that it went stupid again and wasn't picking up her cries, but it wasn't on. Whoops! So, I went in expecting to do a little rocking chair session with her until she settled down. As soon as I opened the door I smelled POOP, so I thought maybe she just needed a diaper change and she would be fine. Evidently I wasn't quick enough because as I walked in the room, I saw her pants hanging over the side of the crib and a diaper (indeed poopy) on the floor.
I got her cleaned up and luckily there was no poop to be found in/on the crib or its inhabitants, but now I'm feeling all guilty because she was crying that she needed her diaper changed and I didn't come and didn't come and so she had to suck it up and take matters into her own hands. I know I'm being waaaay too sensitive about this . . . chances are she probably enjoyed the fact that she could pull down her own pants and take off her diaper (Happy Labor Day, Alyssa!), but I still feel like I should be fired now. Or at least written up. ;)

Sick, mowing, and cards ~ oh my!

Sick: Adam and I have been trading off being sick for the past few days. Started out as allergies for both of us (I had been fighting allergies for at least a week or so), but I think mine moved on to a sinus infection or just a really, really bad cold. My saint of a child took a SUPER LONG nap on Thursday or I don't think I would have made it through the day and my saint of a mommy came down to take care of both of her girls. She's the best! Today I think I'm feeling better "stuffy" wise, but for some reason the smell of the Chinese we had last night has been making me dry heave all morning and my throat is starting to really hurt. Drainage, maybe? Maybe I'll blame my sickness on the fact that I went to visit Christy, Evan, and Charlie after school on Wednesday. Damn those elementary school germs!

Mowing: Adam mowed the jungle that is our yard today (it needed to be mowed yesterday as it was just a yard yesterday, but then it rained all day and the grass shot up about 3 feet). Its funny, it seems like whenever he mows on the weekend all our other neighbors end up following suit. He's such a trend setter ~ keeping up with the K's, I guess.

A good rainy day/I feel like crap weekend activity for me is scrapbooking. I have a card swap coming up, so I decided to try to get my cards made for that. Before Adam leaves me *SOB* and I'm a single mom for 4, count 'em 4, days. (But its okay because my mom and Julai are already fighting to see when they each get to take care of Alyssa and I, so we'll be in good hands). Anyway, I wasn't feel very creative, but I'm really happy with the way they turrned out, so thought I would share. I don't share my scrapping/stamping stuff on here very often. I should do more of that. Anyway . . . for your viewing pleasure . . .

I did it!

I bit the bullet and I sent a message (via myspace) to my best friend from high school. There's a long story/history there that I won't bore you all with, but I'm really proud of myself for having the guts to do it. Maybe I won't hear back from her, but at least the ball is in her court now. And I won't have to wonder "what if . . . " the rest of my life. And sometimes not knowing is worse that knowing the truth. . . . right? ;)

Always in a hurry . . .

I remember hearing many, many, many people tell me that I shouldn't be in such a hurry to grow up. When I wanted to start shaving my legs, my mom told me not to rush things because "once you start, you can't stop!". Too true ~ about many things! I wanted to start wearing a bra in 4th grade, I think. I didn't have anything "bra worthy" until well into 6th grade. But my best friend had a full sized rack at age 10 (which she hated by the way) and I wanted to be just like her. I took college credit classes in high school because I loved the idea of getting through college in 3 1/2 years. A couple months after I turned 21, when the highlight of my life "should" have been staying out until all hours and hitting bar after bar, I bought a house with Adam. I was married at 22, had my first child at 24, and now at 26, I realize that I'm almost "done" with my life.

My goals were:

Go to college ~ check
Get married ~ check
Buy a house ~ check (twice)
Have kids ~ check (one and a half)

Okay, so I want to do more with my life, but those were the big ones.

Even motherhood seems to be something that I rushed through. When Alyssa was 7 months old, we "upgraded" to the mommy-mobile. When Alyssa turned 1, I stopped taking the pill and we started "not-not" trying to get pregnant again.

Why the rush? Why do I have to have everything done RIGHT NOW? I've started realizing lately that part of me wishes that I would have taken my time with things. I'm still glad that I finished college in 3 1/2 years, but part of that is that I'm glad that I saved my parents a semester's worth of private college tuition money and part of it was that I had a 45 minute commute my senior year each way. But now that I'm older, 22 seems like SOOO young to get married. And as much as I love Alyssa and being a mommy, I don't know why I felt like we had to have kids so soon. I could have waited until my later 20s. But then there's the whole "I want to be a young mom" thing. And I certainly didn't HAVE to have the mommy-mobile, as nice as it is to have sometimes. I miss my grand am! I miss not having a car payment!

Basically, in a nutshell I never thought of people being in a hurry to get through the major life changing moments of adulthood, but now that I think about it, I think I have on some level. I hope that doesn't come back to bite me in the arse. I'm afraid of having a midlife crisis at 28. :P

Another place for rejection . . .

Several months ago, Eric sent me a link to sign up for a myspace account. Because he wanted to be my "friend". (And since he paid me a quarter last Wednesday, he is my friend for at least another 2 days and 7 hours, but that's another story). So I signed up, but never did anything with it. Until I heard about Boomer and Jennifer finding each other on myspace and how Eric is completely hooked on it like something that someone is majorly hooked on, so I started updating my page and surfing around. And I was pleasantly surprised that 3 of my really good friends from college that I had kind of lost touch with were on there and were very happy to welcome me back into their lives via myspace. Ahhh, bliss.

But then this afternoon I did some more "random" searching. I found people that I would love to talk to again . . . but I'm afraid of rejection. I haven't invited anyone to be my friend yet. I haven't put myself out there. These people I found just kind of drifted away. I wouldn't say that we parted on bad terms, but its more like our lives were forced into different directions. I don't know what I'm so afraid of. I'm so stinkin' insecure. Its not like I have to go up to them in person and ask them to be my friend again. Its over the INTERNET. Its FUN. Its "safe". So why is it so scary?

Lessons Learned

A topic on my October mom's board today was to name 10 lessons you want to teach your child. Thought it might make for a fun blog topic, too . . .

I hope Alyssa will learn from me ~

1. Always say please and thank you and show respect no matter how important you think the person you are interacting with is.
2. How to handle money responsibly
3. Get out of town . . . travel as much as you can. It may be scary, but its an invaluable experience.
4. Its okay (and encouraged!) to make mistakes and bad choices; recongonize that you've done so and learn from them.
5. Let your guard down and just be silly once in awhile.
6. Don't judge people solely on first impressions . . . many of the important people in my life wouldn't have been in my life if I had.
7. Take time to enjoy the little things in life; in the end they are what matter most.
8. Don't let other people tell you who you should be or what you should do; follow your own heart because it knows best.
9. Listen to your gut and don't be afraid to do what you know is right deep down regardless of the "popular" vote.
10. Know that no matter how harshly the world tosses you around, you always, always, always have a safe haven at home (with your mommmy :) ).

Got Parenting Skills?

Which of us is the lesser of the parents?

Adam: Hey, Alyssa's having Twizzlers for dinner, okay?
Me: Okay.

Is it me for agreeing that its okay for her to have twizzlers or Adam for not wanting to find something more healthy than twizzlers or is it me again for not going downstairs and finding her something else to eat?

Recurring Nightmare

I think this is maybe the mommy equivalent to the "naked high school" dream . . .

Ever since Alyssa was born I've had this dream where I put her down for her nap, and then I just leave the house. I go to the grocery store, go to the mall, ect, but I leave her completely alone at home figuring that she'll nap, I can run errands without having to lug her along, and I'll be home before she wakes up. Sometimes I end up running late or losing track of time and then I start freaking out because Adam is going to be home before I am and I wonder how I'm going to explain that I left Alyssa completely by herself. Its sounds so silly, but I'll wake up absolutely horrified at the idea of Alyssa being alone and me leaving her.

Back in the swing of things

Alyssa and I started back at jazzercise this week. I'm trying to ease into things by doing M,W,F classes for a few weeks and then hopefully adding a fourth one into the mix sometime. Maybe on the weekend to give Alyssa and Daddy some alone time. I'm amazed at how much I missed my classes. Not just hanging out with other adults, but I actually feel so nice and stretched out and not so tense all of the time. But the best part of it was today . . . watching Alyssa come running out of the childcare room absolutely beaming from cheek to cheek. And I don't think it was happiness at seeing me . . . it was happiness at being back around her friends, being able to run around with the other kids, and just have her own little "me time". I never thought when I started doing jazzercise as my ticket to get healthier both physcially and emotionally/mentally it would have such a huge impact on Alyssa's well being, too, but I think its turned her into a really well-adjusted and outgoing toddler. Maybe I'm not such a sucky mom after all. :P

Lookit!

Look at what my wonderful, fabulous, spectacular handsome hubby surprised me with yesterday! YAY! I'm torn between loving it and hating it, but I think we'll learn to co-exsist peacefully as soon as I can learn to work the thing. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!! :) That totally made my Tuesday.

I feel like such a sucky mom today

The day started out good . . . we went to jazzercise, stopped by McD's for lunch to get Alyssa "nunnets", played a little "hide in the closet" and then happily went down for a nap. Fast forward to about 3 PM. Within about 20 minutes she insisted her DVD be changed about 7 times. She drives me NUTS when she toddles up to the entertainment center, pulls open the glass front, and pushes the "open" button on the DVD player, pulls the DVD out, brings it to me and says "Done", then freaks out until I let her pick out another one. So I had finally had it, told her no more TV/DVDs for the rest of the day and decided to go outside. Normally a favorite activity of hers and its actually not insanely humid out. We were outside for 30-40 minutes and I think she cried for about 90% of that time. She cried because I wouldn't let her keep going up and down the next door neighbors slide (its a BIG slide and makes me nervous when there aren't two of us there to watch her AND I feel weird having her play in their yard when they aren't out, even though I know they don't care). She cried because on our walk around the block I wouldn't let her wander up the side street and play with some other kids that we've never met and were a lot older than her and their Barbie jeep. She cried because I tried to make her play in the front yard instead of the back yard because we have no flipping trees in the backyard and it gets HOT with the sun beating down on me and I have no tolerance for heat in my pregnant condition. I moved all the toys she was playing with to the front AND pulled out the chalk. The only time she stopped crying was when the garbage man was picked up Robb and Crystal's yard waste and I think she only stopped crying then because she was too scared to cry. She cried when I suggested walking around the block. She cried when I picked her up to carry her inside.

I finally broke down and put in another DVD (actually 2, because one is never good enough) to get about 20 minutes of peace while I made supper. And now I'm watching her and Adam walk down the street together and she seems so happy and I feel like a fat, frumpy, funless mom. And I'm not sure if I'm cut out for the SAHM gig.

Paranoid, much?

Alyssa and I got home about 30 minutes ago from the inlaws for a "Congrats Ben Dinner" (oldest bil got his MBA today, woo hoo!). Anyway, I quickly let the dogs out, hit the bathroom myself, and then went upstairs to get Alyssa ready for bed. As we were getting ready to sit down to read books I heard Joey start barking furiously. Which isn't that big of a shocker, but when Lexi started in too, I had to go check things out. I could see that someone was at the door, so I left Alyssa at the top of the steps and ran down to see who was there.

There was a good looking "kid" (I'm guessing around 18ish) standing there. I opened the door, but kept the screen door shut and he explained that he lives a couple blocks away, goes to UNL, was on the dean's list and just got selected to go study in France and Italy for a semester with 12 other students (off topic ~ how cool would that be?!). He said his mom had paid for 1/2 the trip, but he had to come up with the other half, so he was doing some fundraising. I told him that I was just getting ready to put Alyssa to bed and asked if he could come back tomorrow. He got this kind of shifty look on his face and said something along the line of "I've only got 2 more packages of kids books left, so I'm not going to be doing this much longer". I considered checking out what he had to offer, but insisted that I needed to get Alyssa to bed, so he left.

Halfway through his "speech" I realized that I unconsciously locked the screen door since my hand was on the handle. And as I went back upstairs to read to Alyssa I felt really uneasy for some reason. Almost like he was casing the joint. I hope Adam gets home soon because my tummy is all sorts of topsy turvy. I kinda wish we had an alarm/security system (besides a 100 lb golden retriever and a 11 lb pomeranian, that is).

Hog Update

4 very serious looking guys are currently carving up the hog. So I can put to rest my fears of them just dropping the poor thing on the drive way and yelling "COME AND GET IT" to which 100 people run forward to start ripping pieces of flesh from the bones.

Can I get an "ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!"? I'm being such a baby about this, but it is providing for some good entertainment for Alyssa and I today.

Ewwww to the 10th degree

Our next door neighbors are hosting a pig roast tonight for neighbors, friends, family, people who happen to wander by, ect. I'm always up for a fun neighborhood party, but after seeing "the hog" slapped up on the bed of a pick up and sliced down the middle this morning, I'm not sure I can handle this. I've been apprehensive about the whole thought of eating a roasted pig (for some reason the thought of eating unprocessed pork really gets to me) and then add the nothing sounds good/the thought of everything, including ice cream, makes me want to yack lately . . . not a good situation.

His CRAP machine . . .

Adam did a sleep study a couple weeks ago because he hadn't been sleeping well/feeling really tired lately and they couldn't find anything wrong with him from his physical/blood tests that his doctor did. (I know ladies, you're totally impressed that I have a husband that voluntarily goes to the doctor, aren't you? ;) ) Anyway, we haven't heard his results for sure, but we're expecting to hear that he has some variation of sleep apnea and will need to wear a CPAP machine at night.

I'm having WAAAAY too much fun with this. First of all, when I was reading his blog where it mentioned different things about the CPAP machine, I immediately read "CRAP machine". So now I tease Adam about being an old geezer and having to wear his CRAP machine. Then after we turn out the lights at night we take turns humming loudly and blowing on each other's faces to prepare ourselves for what life will be like when CRAP-py comes to stay. We're how old? I suppose we laugh so we don't cry, right?

Welcome to my world

its almost taken on an "Alice in Wonderland" kind of feel. Nothing is as it should be!