Thursday, October 27, 2005

2 Things

*copy catted from Boomer because I thought it was kinda fun*

2 names you go by
1. Christi
2. Chrisit

2 things that scare you
1. Losing friends/family
2. Living my life without achieving some of my dreams

2 of your everyday essentials
1. Cheese
2. Access to e-mail and internet

2 things you are wearing right now
1. Ill-gotten slippers
2. Victoria's Secret underwear

2 of your favorite bands or musical artists (at the moment)
1. Barenaked Ladies
2. Hawk Nelson

2 of your favorite songs (at the moment)
1. “1985” by Bowling for Soup
2. "Maybe Katie" by BNL

2 things you want in a relationship (other than real love)
1. Laughter
2. Support

2 truths
1. My favorite TV station is the WB
2. I buy Alyssa toys more for me than for her

2 physical things that appeal to you (in the opposite sex)
1. Smile
2. Eyes

2 of your favorite hobbies
1. Scrapbooking
2. Watching TV/movies

2 things you want really badly
1. To travel
2. To not have to worry about money

2 places you want to go on vacation
1. Paris
2. Rome

2 things you want to do before you die
1. Make sure the people I love know how much they mean to me.
2. See the world (at least the parts of it that I WANT to see)

2 ways that you are stereotypically a dude/chick
1. I know NOTHIN' 'bout cars
2. I love being a wife ~ cleaning, cooking, picking up after Adam

2 things you are thinking about now
1. I'm going to have grilled cheese and soup for lunch ~ wonder if anyone else in "the gang" is still going through this phase.
2. I hope Eric and Angie get to hear baby D's heartbeat today.

2 stores you shop at
1. Old Navy
2. The Children's Place

Job perk?

A long time ago I happened to be looking out the window when Scott from next door's trash was being picked up. He has a different company than we do, so its picked up on a different day. I was shocked to see the "dump the trash" guy that rides on the back go through a box that they had sitting next to their trash can, pull out some framed pictures, and stick them in the front of the truck. Today I was distracting Alyssa from dumping all of my pens all over the desk by saying "look, there's the garbage men" when I noticed ANOTHER "dump the trash" guy going through Scotts trash. He pulled out a leather-looking bag/briefcase thing and carried it up to the front of the truck. The driver examined it carefully and then gave a "sure I'll take it" nod and placed it on the seat next to him. "Dump the trash" guy went back to finish dumping the trash and mounted the back of the truck again and off they rode into the sunset with their new bag.

Am I the only one that finds this really weird and kind of creepy?!

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Biggest Loser

A couple times over the past month or so I've stumbled upon "The Biggest Loser" on Tuesday nights. I heard about it last year, but I didn't really think much of it, but since I've watched it I've really been touched by some of these people on the show. I had an awful day today eating wise ~ I ate everything in sight and really didn't care at all if I was a cow the rest of my life. So I decided to watch the show to look for inspiration . . . and inspiration I found.

One of the guys on the show found out that his uncle had passed away of a heart attack. He started talking about how he wanted people to understand that losing weight and being healthy isn't just for you, it’s for your family. Because its not fair to leave them behind before you've grown old and passed on all your are supposed to/want to pass on or live a life that can't be lived to fullest each day because of weight related problems.

That really got me to thinking. I once sat down and made a list of why I wanted to lose weight. I wanted to be healthy, but I didn't really think of that in terms of developing diabetes, heart disease, etc, I just wanted to be healthy weight so that I looked and felt good. I'm only 25 years old. Who worries about dying early when they are in their 20s? I wanted to have energy to keep up with my child(ren), I wanted Adam to find me attractive, and I wanted my family and friends to be proud of me and how I looked, and I wanted to be able to buy "fun" clothes. All pretty superficial reasons. Not that they aren't good reasons, but tonight I realized how important it is for me to get to a healthy weight and stay at a healthy weight.

I want to be married to Adam for 68 years like my grandparents were. I want to see Alyssa graduate from high school and college and get married and have children and be happy and successful. I want to live each day healthy and happy and full of self-respect and self esteem. I want to realize my full potential instead of just accepting things the way they are. I think I found my inspiration.

Ode to Pumpkin Pie (and Pampered Chef)

Sunday Angie and I went to a Pampered Chef party at her friend Jill's house. I love, love, love Pampered Chef, although I was starting to feel like there was nothing else I could buy because I have so much of it. At the party, though, my love was renewed, I realized how many products I really NEED, so come November 19th if you're in town, stop on by for a Pampered Chef party at my house!

Anyway, Angie's mom was the pampered chef lady at this party and she made these really yummy calzones. Angie and I both thought they were awesome, so we stopped by the grocery store after the party to pick up stuff to make them for our boys for dinner Sunday night. Last night I was still in the "PC groove", so I made this lemon chicken puff thing-y. Very good, yet didn't taste much like lemon. I told Adam that I was going to make a PC recipe every day until my party so that he could see how much I really do NEED all these gadgets. Since we have leftovers from Sunday and Monday night I told him that I was going to make a dessert today. Good for the diet, right? :)

So just out of curiosity I was flipping through the dessert sections of my PC cookbooks and started drooling over all these recipes with pumpkin in them. I wanted pumpkin pie soooo bad, I was considering packing Alyssa up in the car to drive to Village Inn just to get a piece of pie. But then I realized that my mother, Saint Sandy, had given me pie last week after she had company and I had forgotten about it. There in my fridge, surrounded by a heavenly glow was one, delicious, wonderful, orgasmic piece of pumpkin pie. I topped it about 2 cups of fat free cool whip (I'm on diet you know) and savored each bite.

*insert cigarette here ~ it was THAT good*

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Oompa-Loompa Butt . . .

what you find when changing a diaper on a child who has eaten pretty much nothing but carrots and mandarin oranges for the past 24 hours. Ahhh, I love being a mom!

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Let the games BEGIN!

As we are approaching the holiday season, Adam and I are again embarking on a weight loss challenge (because the last one went sooooooooo well :P). We're starting today, October 22nd, going through December 3rd. Adam wants to lose about 10 lbs, I want to lose 15 lbs, winner is the person who has the greatest "percentage" of weight change (down, not up, Adam!). Winner gets $100 smackeroos to spend however SHE wants. Take that sucker, you're going down!

Thursday, October 20, 2005

No wonder today's kids don't know what the funny looking orange thing is on their plate . . .

FYI, its a carrot.

One of the mom's on my October board was talking about getting a shopping cart and play food for her daughter. I thought that was a really cool idea, so yesterday Alyssa and I hit Toys R Us with a gift card from Uncle Ben hot in our hands. This mom had mentioned that most of the play food was all junk food, but they did find some fruits and veggies to buy for her daughter's shopping. Not so at our Toys R Us. They had NO fruits/veggies/healthy food to buy. They had the KFC kit, the McDonald's Kit, the dessert kit (ice cream, cake, pie, ect), but no good old fashioned fruits, veggies, soup cans, ect that I remember from "the good old days". The only thing they had that was even close was this frying pan that came with a hamburger, buns, and some tomatoes and lettuce you could put on the burger. Just not the same. So no wonder kids today want to live off fast food and scream and run if you put the smallest hint of a healthy food on their plates . . . its foreign to them! For all they know if they aren't eating fries and chicken nuggets they're going to DIE!

For anyone who cares we ended up buying a Cabbage Patch stroller (to go with the doll that Grandma K is holding hostage) and a set of keys that make fun noises when you push buttons. There's one button that makes all sorts of honking noises ~ makes me feel like I'm driving through New York City or something when I'm cruising down Dodge St at rush hour. Fun for Alyssa and Mommy!

I was up at about 5 this morning, so I got the great idea to do a search on the Little Tykes website for play food to see if they had more options on their website. Nope. So, then I hit ebay thinking that maybe people were selling some old school stuff. I got the name of a brand that looked like it had some good stuff, so I did a search for their products. Know where the only place you can buy it in town is? Home Depot. Now why didn't I think of that?! Silly me going to Toys R Us . . .

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

You gotta love my "adopted" family

A bit of a background for this post. One of my mom's best friends, Becky, is like a second mom to me. Her sons are like brothers to me and her entire family has "adopted" my family, so I have this wonderful, loud, sometimes inappropriate, extended family for get togethers. These get togethers always include "adult beverages" and it is a widely known fact that it doesn't take much for my mother to get, a bit silly. So my "uncle" Craig is constantly talking about my mom's "drinking problem" how she's a "drunk" ect ~ its quite the family joke.

Last weekend my parents, Becky (my other mom), Jim (her husband), my mom's friend Mary (who is also part of the adopted family), and I went out for dinner after Alyssa's birthday party. We went out for Mexican and since Mom's birthday was Sunday, all the older ladies decided to partake in a margarita. Becky took very "unflattering" pictures of my mom and Mary drinking their rather large margaritas (and yes, they both got quite tipsy and loud by the end of the night) and then we had a picture taken of Becky and I drinking out of her "junior" margarita. So Becky e-mailed pictures out of all of us drinking with the subject "should we be concerned?". Here's the comentary that followed because it CRACKS ME UP!!!

Concerned? We're way beyond that at this point. Mary was always such a
positive role model for poor Sandy; and now the pictures are proof she has
succumbed to the evil of drink as well. Now Becky is aiding in the
corruption of dear Christi - perhaps the only hope for all of you beside
prayers (or lighting candles in Mary's case), is the following:

Alcohol - Drug Treatment Referral 1-800-454-8966

Gordon Recovery Centers 1-800-472-9018

Jackson Recovery Centers 755-7002

Midwest Iowa Alcohol & Drug Weekend 627 - 4289

I have been told that these programs only work when you have reached rock
bottom. I am not so sure about Mary, Christi, and Becky - but there is no
doubt that Sandy hit that point a long time ago.
Just remember Sandy, with Jesus all things are possible.


Rightfully so, we should be concerned. I have worked drug rehab, and I am
fearful of the peer pressure being placed on Mary. I do believe there is
hope for Sandy. She can leave all of her alcohol at my house. Just one
personal question.....did Norm benefit from all of Sandy's drinking that

I must set the record straight.
I was not swayed by Sandy's bad example. I made a decision long ago not to
follow her down the ugly path she has chosen.
But you see--
How can I explain? What can I say?
I guess the truth is best.
It was concern--concern for my dear friend Becky--your beloved sister,
Becky, that drove me to drink on Saturday night.
You see, Jim, your beloved sister's husband, was so preoccupied by what he
saw at the birthday party--that knock-out blonde's purple _____.
Becky smiled bravely, but I knew how distraught she must be. She drank, I
think, to dull the pain. When Becky asked me to have a drink too, I just
couldn't say no.

As for our dear friend Sandy--do you think it may be time for the inevitable

Ahhh, I love these people!

PS ~ It was a purple THONG that got Jim's attention, for anyone who was wondering.

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Birthday Festivites

Time for a birthday week update!!!

Wednesday, Alyssa's actual birthday ~ She woke up briefly around 7 right before her daddy took off for work, so we both sang "Happy Birthday" to her and then she fell back to sleep. She and I went out for breakfast to "Le Peep" with Grandma K. She got a unicorn and rainbow balloon from grandad that she loved and a smiley face pancake, which was a huge hit. After breakfast we stopped by Target and got some Robeez knock off cupcake shoes (BIO monkey see - monkey do!) for her. Then to see Dr K for her 1 year well check. She's 19 lbs 14.5 oz (gained 11 lbs 11 oz in a year!) and 29 inches (grew 8 inches). She had 3 shots, but was laughing by the time we got to the parking lot. Its amazing what a grape flavored tongue depressor and some appt. cards can do to cheer up the kid. We had chicken and fettichini alfredo for her birthday dinner and then Julia, Eric, Angie, and Chad came over for birthday cupcakes.

Yesterday was her big birthday party, which went really well. She loved all the attention and was the perfect hostess. There were presents galore ~ tons of adorable clothes and some really fun toys. All the big boys seemed to like the cell phone and fuzzy book the best. And by big boys I mean those from age 28 - 55 ish. I was really happy with the way that her cookie monster and cookie cakes turned out (I'm glad I got "pressured" into making her cakes because it was really fun) and I thought the house looked really nice all decorated up. We had 15 guests, so it was a fun group, not too big, not too small ~ but we did miss Christy and Evan and we hope that Evan is feeling MUCH better.

I'm paranoid and I have issues

My relationship with Adam's mom has its ups and downs. I thought lately we had been on an upward swing. She took Alyssa and I out for breakfast on Wednesday for Alyssa's birthday and came over to "supervise" me while I made Alyssa's cake. Since she's baked many b-day cakes in her lifetime, I wanted her around to bounce ideas off of. I actually had a really fun afternoon with her. She made the frosting and then entertained Alyssa while I did the actual decorating. We all had lunch together, we chatted, it was quite pleasant. And briefly I felt my guard go down and I sighed a sigh of relief because finally I was experiencing what I had always wanted from my relationship with my mother in law.

Then Alyssa's party happened. And I felt so tense. She made little comments here and there to people that I overheard and I couldn't help but feel like they were derogatory towards me. I've been trying really hard not to immediately look for the negative implication of everything she says like I had in the past lately, but it was really hard yesterday. I don't know if it was because I had so many other things on my mind or if she was just being more vicious yesterday. She seemed so closed off. She really didn't touch/interact with Alyssa more than a minute or two all day, didn't say anything about the decorations or anything to me, and kind of stood off to the side the whole time. I don't know if she felt uncomfortable because of all the other people around or if she was just mad. They left without saying goodbye to me; but I suppose that's my fault. I should have stopped talking/saying goodbye/thanking other people and made a point to go over and give them a hug and thank them. I felt like we took 3 giant steps back yesterday in our relationship. She was really excited about getting this rocking chair for Alyssa, but I guess I said that she wasn't old enough for it or didn't seem enthusiastic enough about it, so she didn't get it for her.

And then . . . here comes my HUGE self esteem issues . . . she was having such a great time talking with my brother in law's girlfriend. The girlfriend that is blonde and about 100 lbs ~ just like my mother in law. And so then all these "I wonder how many times she's disgusted by me because I'm overweight" type thoughts pop up and I start feeling really awful about myself. And then I get upset because I've lost almost 50 lbs and she's never said a thing.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Happy First Birthday Baby

About this time one year ago today the "magic epidural man" was working his wonders on me while I was in labor. At that time I was so excited about my dream of becoming a mom coming true in just a few short hours, but I had no idea the impact you and becoming a mom would have on my life.

I had no idea that I could love someone this much. I had no idea that someone could bring me such incredible joy and happiness. That one look could make me feel like the most important person in the world (and on the flip side, one tear could make me feel like the world's most horrible person). It’s been a rollercoaster ride, but I’m glad to have experienced it with you and I look forward to next years of surprises, ups, and downs.

You are so brave. I was really worried that you would be a timid child because I was really shy when I was younger. I didn't like spending time with people I didn't know well, I was nervous to take on challenges when I wasn't sure what the outcome would be, and I was happier being shown/led than figuring things out on my own. You, my baby girl, are the exact opposite! You seem to have no fear. You face challenges head on, you are curious, determined, stubborn, and you never given up. You don't let failure hold you back; you try again until you succeed. I hope you always hold onto that, and know that I will always be there to be your cheerleader.

You make me laugh. You love "finding" Joey hidden under the bed. You think she's hiding because she's playing with you ~ little do you know, she's hiding because she's terrified of you. She'll growl and yelp as you get closer to inching your way under the bed, but you will just squeal with delight and keep it up. Hearing you giggle is my favorite sound in the whole world. You get this mischievous little look on your face when you do something you know you're not supposed to and it takes every bit of my willpower not to totally melt because you are so darn cute. Last night Daddy went to toss you up onto his shoulders (one of your favorite places to be) and you threw up on his head. I couldn't help but laugh at that, too, and amazingly, even Daddy found the humor in the situation. He's come a long way from a guy that was totally grossed out by spit up or feeding you sweet potatoes when you got too messy.

Happy Birthday Peanut. Wishing you happiness always ~ happiness like the kind that you've given to me.

Love always,

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Let the reminiscing begin!

1 year ago today . . .
I had lunch with my mom at Golden Palace (Chicken Chow Mein) ~ Yum!
Mom and I went to Target.
I "registered" via phone with one of the nurses at the hospital since I was going to be induced the next night (Alyssa had other plans).
I went to Mark and Janna's to pick up hand me downs from Camdyn for the baby.
I made meatloaf for Adam for dinner ~ the first time I ever made meatloaf for him because I don't like it ~ as a "thanks for being such a supportive husband during my pregnancy" present.
I went 30 minutes on the elliptical machine while Adam talked to his Aunt Nancy on the phone ~ once hearing what I was doing, she predicted that I would go into labor that night.
My water broke at 11:15 PM. It feels like it was just yesterday!

Mmmm Mmmm Good

What is it about a bowl of chicken noodle soup and a grilled cheese sandwich that just makes me feel all warm and safe and cuddly? It is the ultimate lunch for a gloomy and chilly fall day. And it kind makes me miss my mom.

Thanks for the idea/craving, Angie! ;)

Sunday, October 09, 2005

She walks!

They were pretty shakey, but Alyssa took her first few steps this afternoon! Twice she stood up with the help of one of the kitchen chairs and then took 3 - 4 steps to me. I'm so proud of my little stinker!!! It still seems so unbelievable, but I'm sooo, sooo proud of her. (Remind me of this in a few weeks when I absolutely can't keep up with her ~ or can't get a moment's peace! lol)

Friday, October 07, 2005

Shout out to my peeps/mamas

I remember vividly the apprehension I had when I decided to introduce myself on the "Due in October" board. I had told myself that I was just going to lurk, then told myself I would introduce myself once I had my first appointment and felt more confident about my pregnancy. I think I lasted about 12 hours after I found out I was pregnant. In fact, I think they all knew before I told Adam. :) I honestly can't imagine what my pregnancy would have been like if I hadn't had my fellow moms to interact with. I was pretty much the first one of any of our/my friends to have a baby. My youngest niece was 8, so my sister could kind of relate, but couldn't really remember what it was like to go through all the hormones and the changes. I have another mom's group that I'm very much involved with that has children/babies of all ages and they are a great group of women, but its not nearly the same as having someone who is going through what you are going through at the same time.

My DIO group did amazing things for me. They opened my eyes to so many different opinions on every aspect of life, not just labor/delivery/raising a child. I feel a huge part of the world was opened up to me because of these women. Even though I've kind of gone in "waves" of how actively I participated in our Due In board and our Born In board, not a day goes by where I don't think about them, their babies, and what's going on in their lives. Its amazing to me how connected I feel with these women that I only know via a computer screen. I know them by a screen name, maybe a real name/nickname, a picture, an attitude, a child, ect. Its such a different kind of relationship than I have with anyone else in my life. I think they are what keeps me going as a SAHM. I always worried about not having an "outside" life. Not being around other adults and being stuck with a baby all day long, but its just not true for me. I do have an outside life. I have stories of my friends to tell Adam when he comes home from work.

A few of them Adam knows by name, so I can say "so and so said this" or "so and so's daughter/son did this", but otherwise I bet you hear "one of the mom's on my board said/did . . . " at least 10 times a day around our house. They are all constantly on my mind.

This week has been a really dark week around the born in October board. There has been a lot of struggling going on and I wish more than ever I could reach out and hug these women. I wish I could tell them in person that it was going to be okay, than we're here for them, and let them know how much they and their babies are cared about.

Its so weird feeling like these people you've never met are such a huge part of your lives, but I really don't know what I would do without them. For all the laughs and tears and drama and comfort . . . I appreciate them more than I could ever explain.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

It pays to be a screw up in my family

My dad gave my brother several thousand dollars yesterday so that my brother could buy my 15 year old niece who DOES NOT HAVE her license a new jeep because the two cars that they current own aren't "cool" enough for her to drive to school. My brother can't get a loan on his own, so the deal with my parents was that my dad was going to co-sign the loan. Dad decided it would just be easier to give him the money. I found out this morning that Dad gave Mark money to buy new glasses while we were out there visiting because he didn't like his contacts. They gave him $3,000 for a new car a few years ago, and he has made two payments of $150 each. My parents paid all lawyer/court fees when the crazy lady (aka my ex-sil) was fighting Mark for custody of Brandy. They give him money at the drop of a hat. HE'S 40 YEARS OLD!!! The same goes for my sister. My parents paid for part of their house, give them money all the time to fix up one thing or another or pay their bills or buy groceries. Of course I want my sister and family to eat, but if she would get off her duff and fill out her disability papers she would have more money coming in. But she's too lazy to do that.

So, I'm the one that went to college, own a house, have a solid spouse with a good job, have two nice cars . . . several people from my home town have commented that I am my Dad's "success story" after all the turmoil that Mark and Joni put him through. (My mom takes credit for it since M&J have a different mom). And I have a feeling that my Dad would be crushed if I asked him for money. So, I'm the "good" kid, but I get screwed over? It just doesn't seem fair.

Part of me wonders if the reason that Dad gives so much money without thought to my siblings is that he feels like he owes them something for not being around much when they were growing up since he and their mom were divorced. My Dad was really involved with my life when I was growing up and I would take that over money any day, but I wonder if he feels like he has to make it up to them somehow and if this is his way. Like he has to "earn" their love. Because its my dad handing out money left and right most of the time and not my mom.

I'm proud that we are stable enough that we don't have to borrow money from parents, but sometimes I wish I didn't have to live up to such high expectations.

Monday, October 03, 2005

The kid blows my mind!

I know I've said this before, but I absolutely cannot get over how grown up and smart Alyssa seems to be getting. I can't believe that a year ago she was just a pile of mush in my tummy and now she's actually a CHILD! A child that has ideas of her own, feelings, and understands part of the world around her.

Today I was giving her goldfish crackers and got up to let the dogs in. I looked back at the coffee table to see her unrolling the bag, reaching in, and helping herself to crackers. Just like a regular person!

Then this afternoon I was vacuuming and when I got "too close" to her she would put her hands over her ears.

HOW DOES SHE FIGURE THIS STUFF OUT?!?!?! It absolutely freakin' amazes me.