Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Starting to panic a little . . .
about "bringing home baby". I was talking to Dr. K (our pediatrician) today about what I should be/could be doing to prepare Alyssa for a new baby. He told me that there isn't really a whole lot I can be doing to full prepare her because she's just too young to comprehend/understand. The analogy he gave me was to imagine that one day Adam comes home from work and says, "Honey, this is my new wife. I still love you and you're still my wife, but she's going to live here and be my wife, too". I keep repeating that over and over in my head and its just bringing up all these fears and horrible feelings I had when I first found out I was pregnant. The night I got my positive test I could barely look at Alyssa without bursting into tears and feeling like I had totally just ruined her life. I know that in the end I am giving her an amazing gift in a sibling, I just hope and pray that when the time comes I'll be strong enough/loving enough to make the transition as smooth as possible so that she never feels like she is being replaced, instead she feels blessed to have someone new and very special in her life to look up to her and love her.
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6 comments:
Having just added to my family... well two months ago I had some of the same fears. Maygan has done pretty well, I say pretty well because she is very possesive about certain things, and can get pretty awnry about who does things for her. She usually wants the person who is holding Vivian to do it. A power thing I think. I make sure to spend as much time as possible when Vivian's asleep during the day with Maygan, we play, cuddle and just hang out. Sorry this got to be a book, but your fears are justified and just wanted to let you know that I felt the same. The fact that they are close will help eventually. Try not to worry to much. Alyssa may just suprise you:)
Lol, I think every mother outhere feels exactly the same way.
Vicki thinkgs that Dani came as a present for her:)
Also, we made sure top have lots of present for Vicki, when Daniw as born, so she kind of associate Dani coming home with some sort of celelbration, since she was getting a lot of stuff.
MIL was a bit bad, because everytime she'll se us she look at the baby and not her, and that did create a few tantrums, so try to make sure everybody knows that you have TWO children when the little one comes along:))
Yay, good luck:)
No, you heard the doctor wrong. He was suggestion I bring home another wife to help out! :P
Thank you Crissa and Nat ~ your support/advice/experiences mean a lot to me.
Adam . . . some days, honey, some days! ;)
Girl, that whole "I've just ruined _______'s life" (insert Avery in my case...) is totally normal, I'm finding out. I burst into tears when I saw Avery while I was in the hospital -- and she saw me in a wheelchair with a wrapped up bundle in my arms... that look that she gave me is forever imprinted into my mind. Kind of like a "What is going on?" look. I couldn't contain myself -- I felt so guilty because now her life would never be the same. But then I came to the realization that it won't be worse, it'll be better. It'll just take her a while to realize it too.
You'll be amazed at how well your 'older' child will adjust! Talk to her a LOT about what's happening, even if you don't think she understands...I'm telling you, it'll sink in. Many hugs- you *can* do this, its normal (both feeling the way you do and having more than 1 child, lol) and after baby #2 is born, you'll forget what it was ever like "just" having 1 child!
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