Sunday, November 30, 2008


I am so tired of sneezing. My stomach hurts.

I am so tired of peeing a little every time I sneeze. The joys of having a bladder that has been beaten by two growing babies.

I'm going to go blow my nose now.


Since Alyssa started preschool she's been saying things that seem completely out of the blue that I'm sure she's learning at preschool. And each time it makes me stop dead in my tracks and think "Seriously? Did MY little baby girl just say that?". And then it makes me a little sad that she's turning into my big baby girl ... because even if she protests that she's not a baby, she's a big girl, she will always be my baby.

A couple examples from the last couple weeks -

When my mom was over helping me sort through the toxic waste that is/was our basement Alyssa was playing with Joel on the other side of the basement happy as a clam. All of the sudden we hear her start reciting the pledge of allegiance. Just out of the blue. Word for word. (pretty much). How did this happen!?

This morning she got her first glimpse of our fully lighted Christmas tree (the tree was only about 1/2 lit when she went to bed last night). She swooned over it and then turned to me and said, "Oh mommy, I wish we had a piano right here! *gestures to the area next to the tree* Then we could sing 'oh Christmas tree, o Christmas tree'".

Isn't she adorable?!

Saturday, November 29, 2008


Our whole family is a sniffling, coughing, sneezing, wheezing, snotty mess. Who wants to come visit?!

Adam has been battling this cold/sinus infection/whatnot the longest, I think. Well over a week. Yesterday he said that he was feeling better, so I hope he's on the mend.

Alyssa has been sniffling, coughing, etc for several days now, but its just been the last 24 hours or so that she's really started complaining about not feeling well. Of course that could be in part to several days of not napping and not sleeping through the night which makes her a little more "emotional" that usual.

Today is the first day that I've felt really crummy. The kids have been getting up multiple times at night, which I think is catching up to me. Last night they were up about 20 minute apart - just enough time for me to finally settle down and fall asleep from getting up with Joel and *tap, tap, tap* comes Alyssa. I'm hoping that some Airborne and chilling at home will make me feel better quickly.

And now we get to my "problem" child. Although he's not really the problem. Wednesday morning I noticed some "crud" in Joel's ear, but I couldn't tell if it was crud that had come out or crud that had drained out of his nose/mouth during the night and dried in his ear. After his afternoon nap, it was pretty evident that it was coming out of his ear, which is a surefire symptom of an ear infection. Of course ... at 4PM the day before Thanksgiving. I called Dr. K's office to see if they would call in an Rx for him or if we should just take him to the after hours clinic that evening. The nurse called back with instructions to start ear drops and then bring him in on Friday if he seemed worse/didn't get better and they would get him on some oral meds. He was obviously not getting any better, so yesterday I called Dr K's office and got the answering service - they informed me that the office was closed. Great. But they have a children's urgent care within the same office during "off" hours that was supposed to be open from 12pm - 10pm yesterday. No problem. So off Joel and I went to urgent care #1. Their lighted sign said open, the sign on the door listing hours said that they should be open, but their locked door made me think otherwise. So back in the car to head to urgent care #2, which was actually a "quick care" clinic inside the grocery store. There I was informed that even though we arrived an hour and a half BEFORE they were supposed to close, they had too much paperwork to catch up on from patients earlier in the day, so they were refusing to see any more patients. Beautiful. So finally on to urgent care #3. Third time was a charm. We had to wait forever (it seemed) in the waiting room, but within 5 minutes of the doctor coming in she declared that Joel had a sinus infection, bronchitis, and a possible ruptured ear drum from an ear infection - the tube is no longer in place in that ear, so either the hole from the tube hadn't healed over yet or the ear drum ruptured. My poor baby. This whole process took about 3 hours.

Black Friday shopping was a cake walk compared to trying to get medical attention the day after Thanksgiving.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Afternoon project

At 2 PM yesterday afternoon, our basement looked like this ...

3 bags of donations to the humane society, 4 garbage bags and a box of donations to Goodwill and 3 hours later ...

Pretty impressive, huh? Probably only about 15% of the basement, but its a start! My wonderful, fabulous, spectacular mom came down to lend an extra pair of hands, bought us two new shelving units, and helped supervise the kids, which helped SOOOOO much. She's the awesome-est.

I'll post more before/after pics as we continue our quest to organizing!
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Sunday, November 16, 2008

this sums it up ...

My mom e-mailed me a quote that she read yesterday in the newspaper ...

"Face it, 4-year-olds are lovable but self-centered, impulsive and prone to meltdows."


Good to know my 4 year old is up to par.

My kids are cute - weekend edition

Last night Adam's parents and his older brother, Ben, came over for supper. I "made" Omaha Steaks burgers for everyone (taking advantage of my employee discount already ... employee discounts make me happy; I've never had one before. I wish I could get a mommy discount). We also had Omaha Steaks chocolate molten lava cake for dessert. And yes, it was as good as it sounds. After supper we decided to play a rousing game of YAHTZEE!. Joel had such a blast shaking the dice up and rolling them. Almost every time he would dump them out he would yell "hey-yah!" and then look around expectantly waiting for us all to start cheering for him. Made it really hard to be disappointed when he rolled exactly what we DIDN'T need. And he could really use a lesson on either shaking less violently when the dice are in the cup or putting his hand over the top so that little dice-missiles don't come shooting out from his direction. But the boy had fun and we had fun watching him.

Just a little bit ago Alyssa asked me to come look at a picture she was drawing - here's how that conversation went:

A: Mommy, guess who this is!
M: You tell me ... (thinking it looked a lot like a tree trunk with a circle on top, but I could identify eyebrows on the circle. But that doesn't narrow things down very much.)
A: *as she's adding smaller circles on top of the big circle* I'll give you a hint ... who wears curly hair? (I love how she says "who wears curly hair" like you can take it or leave it)
M: Ummmm ... Alyssa?
A: Yes! Its me!!!

I *knew* those eyebrows looked familiar.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Working for the man

Finally have a few minutes to get some thoughts out about my new gig. For anyone who doesn't know, I'm working part time at Omaha Steaks throughout the holiday season.

Monday night was my first night of training. My basic reaction to it:
1. A bit intimidated and a bit overwhelmed by all the information that was being tossed my way.
2. I feel like I now know more about the "behind the scenes" side of steak than anyone ever really needs to know.
3. Angie - I thought of you when they flashed a sample of the employee ID badge up on the power point screen and the employee was Chris Klein. Evidently he worked there before he hit it "big". I don't know it was his actual ID badge; looked very "head shot"-esque.
4. I really didn't feel like I belonged/could related with anyone in my training group becase:
a. I'm not looking to collect social security in the next 5 years or so
b. I'm not a chain smoker
c. I'm not on parole.
d. I can legally purchase/drink alcohol.
I kind of expected to see more of the SAHM crowd there.

Tuesday night was better. I kind of made a "friend". Or at least found someone nice to chat with during down times and do role playing exercises with. I'm still feeling a little overwhelmed and intimidated, but I hope they are leaning more towards "over-training" us (probably not going to get a lot of people calling in to make 4 changes to their orders/accounts).

I'm having a hard time going to sleep at night because I feel so wired. I really think part of it is that my brain isn't used to working very hard. Once I *do* finally fall asleep within 15 - 30 minutes the last 2 nights Alyssa has showed up next to my bed. She doesn't need anything/nothing is wrong, which puts me in a crabby mood. I don't know if part of her just wants to make sure that I'm home or if she's just trying to drive me crazy, but "mean Mommy" is usually the one marching her back to her room. And then last night Joel woke up crying a few minutes after I finally fell asleep after getting up with Alyssa. Thankfully Adam took my crying into my pillow as a sign that he should get up with Joel. Or at least I think he did ... either way he got up. I've tossed around a few ideas to help with my "sleep issues".
a. semi-wake Alyssa up when I get home ... lay down with her for a few minutes and start her "pooh songs" over so that she knows that I'm home if that's what is waking her up/bothering her. Because she usually just wails that she wants me to lay down with her.
b. hit the gym to burn off nervous energy and try to calm down my mind ... but even if its open late enough I probably wouldn't see Adam at all.
c. take a sleeping pill ... or maybe just drink heavily when I get home. I like that thought. ;)

Stay tuned ...

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Halloween from our house (and from Paula's house)

Joel was not real impressed with the whole Halloween business ~ even with the candy!
Ready to hit the streets
Speaking of hitting the streets ... Paula and I dressed up as beauty queens for her family's annual Halloween party that I flew to Raleigh for. A few comments:
a. You can't tell it from the pictures, but Paula's is sporting a baby bump and some "enhanced" knockers for her role as "Miss Leading"
b. There's a purple lollipop in my hair, 5 year old Jessie (seem bottom right corner) did my make up, and the black "thing" above my eye is a false eyelash that was put on crooked. I think the other one that fallen off by then. I also had bandaids all over my body and Paula's kids kept asking me what happened to me, which was pretty cute. I think they think I'm crazy. ;)

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Things that make you go, "Awwwwwww!"

This morning when I picked Alyssa up from preschool we were looking through her papers in her bucket per usual. The past couple weeks they've been working on a "tell me about your picture" art series where they paint something and then her teacher will write the title or description on the paper. Alyssa brought her picture home a couple weeks ago that was titled "a rainbow", so I was surprised to see another picture in her bucket titled "A princess for Alyssa". Are you ready for this? Her little "friend" Gary painted it for her! Is that not the CUTEST thing ever?! She's decided that she wants to hang Gary's picture up in her room. Gary trivia for anyone who has heard: He was her first friend that she started talking about at preschool and now she talks about Gary all the time. After helping out at the Fall Festival last week I can see how the kind of light up when they're around each other - kind of makes me want to lock her in a tower for the next 20 years, frankly.

All together now: "Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww".

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Raleigh 2.0

Its after midnight here in North Carolina and I'm wiped out, but can't sleep because I'm feeling guilty and wish I could beam myself home because maybe then I would be able to avoid this horrible panic attack that seems to be bubbling under my surface.  

I'm trying to figure out how to answer the question "How was your trip". As a whole, from the surface, it was great ... I had a fun time dressing up for Paula and Kirk's Halloween party and getting to meet more family and friends. I had a wonderful time chatting with Paula in the hot tub afterwards - especially after she shared her theory that she thought a single guy friend of hers was trying to figure out if I was single. Nice to know that I might still have a little fraction of "it". This morning we did a beautiful hike through the woods surrounded by fall foliage, fed ducks/geese at the lake, and played with the kids at the park. After an afternoon nap Paula and I went out with some more of her friends to see a movie and to a nice restaurant for supper. More hot tubbing tonight and shopping on the docket for tomorrow. Pretty great, right?

Except I feel awful. I feel guilty for leaving in general and leaving Adam alone with Alyssa and Joel. I feel like I don't deserve to have taken this trip or to take time for myself. I feel sad/guilty that I had the opportunity to read bedtime books, tease, watch TV, chase around, swing with, play with someone else's children and I feel like I can't remember the last time I did that with my own kids. Its not *really* that bad, but this weekend has made me realize how much I am struggling with my life. How much I can't handle holding it all together - the cooking, the cleaning, the laundry, being a good wife, being a good mother, keep some small bit of my own identity. I'm the homemaker... that my job. But Adam is there to co-parent; to be the one to read books, play games, cuddle with the kids, so while I'm desperately trying to keep my head above water, the "fun chores" get passed on to him.

But I digress ... the voice in the back of my head is reminding me that "everyone" says that I'll be a better mommy/wife for getting away. That its good for Adam, Alyssa, and Joel to be on their own without me because they'll appreciate me more and realize that they can survive without me (at least for a couple days). The voice is encouraged by the memories of everyone I shared my weekend plans with saying some version of "good for you!" Well, maybe not everyone. Just when I started feeling okay ~ feeling like Christi - not mommy, not hon, not Miss Christi, just Christi again, I heard another voice. The voice of one of the people I love most in the world. A voice across a phone line that was struggling and it makes my heart hurt. And then comes the guilt. The "what the hell are you doing - you don't deserve this, You are a selfish, selfish person and you are just running away from your responsibilities. Grow up. Be a better person. Think about other people."

Leave it to me to screw up a weekend away by making it make me feel worse than I did before I left.

*I wrote this late Sunday night/early Monday morning, but couldn't get in to blogger from Paula's computer, so hence the wacked out time line if you notice that kind of stuff. *