Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Last Friday I took Alyssa over to Adam's parents to have lunch with his mom, grandma, and uncle. I realized that I hadn't offered to bring anything over on Christmas Day, so I asked if there was anything that I could bring. Here's our conversation . . .
Me: Is there anything I can bring on Sunday? I should have offered sooner, but it kind of snuck up on me.
Mil: *scoffs* Christi, when are you seriously going to have time to make something with your parents coming tomorrow and you going over to your cousins'?
Me: Well, I'm making chex mix and a cheese ball to take to Mark and Janna's, maybe I'll just bring leftovers over and I do have tons of cookies and stuff to bring.
Grandma: Oh, I haven't had a cheeseball in forever, that sounds really good.
Mil: I made chex mix so don't bring that.
So, Sunday morning I get up and reform and re-crumb my cheeseball so that it looks brand new (not much of it was eaten on Saturday) and put together a plate of a majority of the cookies and treats that I had made. I took over crackers to have with the cheeseball and everything.
After we opened presents everyone was complaining about being hungry, but we kept being told we would eat in an hour to an hour and a half. Fil, Alyssa, and I were in the kitchen and I mentioned to him that I brought a cheeseball. He got really excited and said that he loved cheeseballs, so I got it out of the fridge for him, but then he said he should wait. (Fearing the wrath of mil, no doubt, for eating something that she didn't pre-approve). I thought if she wouldn't let me make anything for the meal, maybe I could at least bring something that people could snack on. And I never did see this chex mix that SUPPOSEDLY she had already made. So, I felt kind of sad that no one was going to eat my cheeseball, but I figured that maybe she forgot about it because of all the other things she had on her mind. But I certainly didn't want to bring it up because I'm kind of scared of my mil.
Then comes time for dessert and she serves her pumpkin pie and her pecan pie, but my cookies just sit on the counter sealed and unopened.
I seriously wanted to cry the entire way home. I felt like such a loser and a failure. I was making an effort to be part of the family. You don't make guests bring food, but family SHOULD bring something. If I go to my parents for a holiday I take something (or usually make something there). We went through this whole "I want us to be closer and really feel like family" thing and then I just feel like I was slapped in the face because she just ignored my effort. I wouldn't have cared if no one ate anything, at least I would have been given a chance. I guess Chris did eat one of my cookies as soon as we got there. I didn't plan on leaving the entire plate there. I actually had some cookies that I made that I didn't get to try because I took them all over to their house. But I didn't feel like I could just walk out with an untouched plate of cookies either.
And I left the cheeseball there because I took it primarily because Grandma said it sounded really good and then fil got excited about it. I hope they at least noticed that it was there.
I know its dumb. I shouldn't feel so bad about something so trivial, but its really eating at me.
Friday, December 23, 2005
Thursday, December 22, 2005
I called my parents tonight and as I was dialing Adam asked if I was ordering pizza. So, I decided to be silly and as soon as my Dad answered I said, "Yes, I'd like to place an order for delivery". He replied, "Okay, go ahead" and I placed my order for Chicken Tetrazini (sp?) (one of my favorite things my mom makes).
Smooth as can be my dad repeats back "One Chicken Annabimi".
Oh I love him even if he can't pronouse tetrazini (which I can't spell for the life of me, so maybe that makes us even)
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Adam and I are sooooooooo bad about opening gifts from each other before a set holiday. By the time Christmas, our birthdays, Valentine's day, our anniversary, ect arrive we've already opened, used and/or broken our gifts to each other. This year is no exception. Tonight I opened the best present ~ a pair of soft, comfty, purple flip flop slippers. I had told him how I saw some at Old Navy that I loved, but they were in the kids section and I was seriously pondering seeing if I could fit into a child's size slipper. I love wearing slippers around the house, but then the top of my feet get so hot that I have to kick them off every once in awhile. So, now life is complete; I have a pair of slipper that I can wear all day every day. Until my daughter decided to PEE on my new slippers as she was getting into the bathtub tonight. Now I have soft, comfty, purple, WET flip flop slippers. But I still love them; I just have to wait for them to dry.
The second quote got me thinking about Alyssa. How I do have a little bit of sweetness in each day ~ in the shape of my beautiful baby girl. Even though there are times that I don't feel like I'm doing a great job as a mom, I am so thankful each and every day that I get to be her mom. Its an absolute honor.
The first quote hit home with some thoughts I have been having lately about Christmas. My mom sent me this in an e-mail this week and it really got me thinking:
"A new verision of the Night before Christmas"
'Twas the night before Christmas
and all through the town
Not a sign of Baby Jesus
was anywhere to be found.
The people were all busy
with Christmas time chores
Like decorating, and baking,
and shopping in stores.
No one sang "Away in a manger,
no crib for a bed".
Instead, they sang of Santa
dressed-up in bright red.
Mama watched Martha Stewart,
Papa drank beer from a tap.
As hour upon hour
the presents they'd wrap
When what from the T.V.
did they suddenly hear?
'Cept an ad.. which told
of a big sale at Sears.
So away to the mall
they all flew like a flash...
Buying things on credit...
and others with cash!
And, as they made their way home
>From their trip to the mall,
Did they think about Jesus?
Oh, no... not at all.
Their lives were so busy
with their Christmas time things
No time to remember
Christ Jesus, the King.
There were presents to wrap
and cookies to bake.
How could they stop and remember
who died for their sake?
To pray to the Savior...
they had no time to stop.
Because they needed more time
to "Shop til they dropped!"
On Wal-mart! On K-mart!
On Target! On Penney's!
On Hallmark! On Zales!
A quick lunch at Denny's
>From the big stores downtown
to the stores at the mall
They would dash away, dash away,
and visit them all!
And up on the roof,
there arose such a clatter
As grandpa hung icicle lights
up on his brand new step ladder.
He hung lights that would flash.
He hung lights that would twirl.
Yet, he never once prayed to Jesus...
Light of the World.
Christ's eyes... how they twinkle!
Christ's Spirit... how merry!
Christ's love... how enormous!
All our burdens... He'll carry!
So instead of being busy,
overworked, and uptight
Let's put Christ back in
Christmas and enjoy
some good nights!
I worry about how I'm going to explain the true meaning of Christmas to Alyssa. How in this day and age where I get so stressed out about finding the perfect gifts and baking the perfect cookies and scheduling where we are going to be when and who we'll see, how am I going to explain to her that none of that really matters? Its a day to celebrate this amazingly important birthday. A day to celebrate family. To me the gift giving is a way to show our friends and family how much we love them and appreciate them and to make them feel special. The whole season gets so busy and stressful and I wouldn't wish that upon anyone, yet, everyone I know I gets stressed about it. My mom stresses about making sure that she spends the same amount of money on each child and grandchild. That everyone has the same number of gifts to open. That she gets things that everyone will want and need. So much of the joy of gift giving is overshadowed by the feeling of dread of going to the mall AGAIN to find a parking spot AGAIN and to stand in the checkout line AGAIN.
My mom and I were talking about going to church last week and even that is a huge deal. The reason for the whole day in a way turns into a big stesser. Planning what time we're going to go based on what time we're supposed to be at Mark and Janna's for Christmas. Planning who we're going with. What church we're going to. It all just builds and builds.
So when I think about it from this stand point it seems like the most horrible time of year. People are cranky and moody and stressed and losing sleep worrying about finding the perfect toy for their child or how they are going to pay their credit card bill come January or if they got their Christmas cards mailed early enough.
Its supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year and its still my favorite time of year. When I think back on holidays past I don't remember the stress and the arguing and the lines and the money spent. I remember spending time with family, playing games, eating until you think your pants are going to bust open, standing between my mom and dad, holding a candle, and singing "Silent Night" at the 11 PM church service. The wonder and magic of the day. I hope that I can pass that on to Alyssa. That she can understand the true joy of the day and not get caught up in all the commercialism and stress.
That, my baby girl, is my wish for you today and always. Its all about the love and the magic. :)
Monday, December 19, 2005
I've been up since about 12:30 ~ just wasn't tired. Alyssa woke up a little before 1. I tried rocking her for a bit and putting her down several times, but she would play for about 10 minutes and then start crying/fussing again. And she's all stuffy and hoarse from her cold, so she sounds just miserable when she "tries" to cry, so I just can't let her go on very long. But then I started thinking, "here I am, awake and not tired and I'm playing on the computer and reading, why should she HAVE to go to sleep just because I say so if she's not tired?". So, thus we're both up and going. I would have a totally different opinion if I was tired and wanting to sleep and she was awake, though, I'm sure.
But I kind of hope she decides to crash soon. I'm still not tired, but the idea of my nice warm bed sounds awfully nice.
Sunday, December 18, 2005
Friday, December 16, 2005
Most significant days in my life:
May 3rd, 2002 ~ My Grandpa Nelsen passed away
December 28th, 2002 ~ I married Adam
February 15th, 2003 ~ Julia asked me to be her Matron of Honor (I was hoping that I might get to be part of the wedding party, but was trying not to get my hopes up )
March 22, 2004 ~ I saw Bare Naked Ladies live with Julia; hopefully the first of many times!
October 12th, 2004 ~ My destiny arrived at 4:52 PM and we named her Alyssa Marie
When I was in college I was in a sorority, which many of you know . . . but many of you don’t know that my Sophomore year I was VP of that sorority and Junior year I was President. I hated that group and drove it into the ground, killed it good, then ran away. Mwahahahahaha. I really didn’t mean to kill it off, it just happened that it was really hurting when I became president and I didn’t have what it took to “save” it.
My first car was a 1980 Buick Century that belonged to my Grandma Carlson. We called it my 4 door French Fry because it was a lovely golden yellow/mustard color. I hated that car ~ it would just randomly stop running whenever it got tired, so I was scared to death of it. My next car was a 1990 Dodge Aries K car. Most memorable thing about that car was the “strawberry air-conditioner” that Sarah O was in love with. I traded that car in for a 1998 Pontiac Grand Am my sophomore year of college. Ahhh, Muffy, you were a good car and I miss you! In May of this year I became the proud co-owner of, Gwen, a 2005 Ford Escape that is my first “brand new” car.
Continents I would like to visit in order of preference:
2. Europe (okay, I’ve already been there, but I would love to go to Rome, Paris, and London)
3. Antarctica (as long as I could be warm and have a good tour guide!)
6. South America
If I could be on any reality show it would be “The Biggest Loser”. If I were younger and thinner, I think it would be fun to be on “The Real World”.
5 Places in the US that I want to visit:
- Las Vegas
- Raleigh, NC
- Magic Mountain Vacation Resorts in TN
- New York City
- Mount Rushmore
My 4 Greatest Fears:
1. Free falling
2. Snakes/Spiders/Creepy Crawly things in general
3. Losing members of my immediate family
4. Never getting close to my goal weight
My favorite color is blue.
When I was little I wanted to be a babysitter, a taxi driver (where I got this from when I grew up in town without taxis I don’t know, but I remember telling my mom that’s what I wanted to be when I grew up), or a teacher.
3 Greatest Regrets in my life:
1. Not completing my education degree and switching to business instead.
2. The way I handled the Sarah/Adam situation.
3. Bailing on Jen and Jason’s wedding and letting Jen’s friendship drift away.
If someone were to ask me what the dumbest thing I’ve ever done in my life . . .
Driving to Colorado with a guy that I had only known 3 weeks (he was a friend, not as in a boyfriend type guy) and back in about 20 hours in college. We drove to Woodland Park after rehearsal one night, had breakfast with my brother, sister-in-law, and niece, and drove back in time for rehearsal that night. Should have been a 9-10 hour drive both ways.
I have “owned” 4 dogs in my life:
1. Buscuit . . . my first dog, he was a “Heinz 57” and just absolutely crazy
2. Freckles ~ my first Pomeranian. The love of my life for 10 years.
3. Lexi ~ really Adam’s golden retriever, but I claim her as mine . . . sometimes.
4. Jocelyn Pooh Bear aka Joey ~ my second Pomeranian. My little bundle of loves and fuzz therapy.
I have also been the proud mother to several fish and gerbils. I had a beta fish during college named Xavier that would rock out to the Beach Boys “Barbara Ann” whenever I played it.If/when I ever get a tattoo it would be on my lower back in the shape of a very small butterfly. The butterfly story is a story for another day.
I went skinny dipping in hot springs in Lake Tahoe a few years ago with Adam, Amber, and Randy and a few other strangers. I never thought I would be one to get nekkid in front of anyone but Adam, but it was one of the most fun and sensual experiences of my life. I would do it again in a heartbeat ~ and would encourage anyone else to try it!
Thursday, December 15, 2005
And she's off! Mission: Empty out the drugs onto the floor completed ~ gotta find something else to get into . . . with gas drops in one hand and tylenol in the other she toddles out of the room.
Goodness I love this kid!
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Okay, maybe a LOT of baking. I think we made at least a dozen different kinds of cookies, bars, and candy. We all had a great time being silly and just hanging out and baking. But I'm kind of sad that I didn't do sugar cookies this year. They are so much work, but it makes me feel like Christmas isn't quite complete without a frosted sugar cookie with sprinkles all over it. I still have 10 days left, though!
Then Monday I made Adam some of his coveted buckeyes.
Today I'm in the process of making banana bread.
Thankfully most of the stuff is going straight into the freezer and then we're giving it away at Christmas.
Thursday, December 08, 2005
I think I need a cigarette and a nap . . . it was THAT good.
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
First of all I was dreaming that Alyssa was standing at the top of our steps, fell, and started tumbling end over end so I woke Adam and I both up as I jolted and gasped loudly. Its been a fear of mine lately as she's gotten VERY brave when standing at the top of the steps that she'll decide she's big enough to tackle the steps in the "grown up" way and she'll fall.
Second of all I was rudely awoken when Adam punched me in the shoulder. He was dreaming that he was beating up his little brother, so I got to "stand in" for Chris. Great! Although I have to say I would rather be woken up by Adam hitting me than by him starting to scream/yell in his sleep. There's something less scare about being punched than all of the sudden having someone scream in your ear.
Can't we all just get along and have a peaceful night's sleep?! Maybe tonight . . . stay tuned.
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Sunday, December 04, 2005
Exhibit A: Tonight a friend of mine from college called that I hadn't talked to in months. I actually had a hard time deciding whether to continue watching "Extreme Makeover: Home Addition" or talk to her. What is wrong with me?!
Exhibit B: Alyssa has always had bad sleep habits because I would nurse/rock/hold her to sleep. I would start putting her to sleep around 8, but I didn't want her to wake up halfway through my show that was on from 8-9, so I would hold her until 9 so that she wouldn't wake up. Bad mommy!
Exhibit C: I will forgo a nap even though I'm cranky as a toddler just so I can watch "Ellen" in the afternoon. I'm too darn lazy to find a tape and program the VCR.
I think TiVo would solve a lot of my problems, so if anyone wants to drop hints to the inlaws on what would be the PERFECT gift for Adam and I (much better than that damn grill or the chest of doom) let me know and I'll pass on contact information. ;)
Speaking of Angie and food . . . memo to myself to never ever go food shopping with a pregnant friend again. She's craving (and buying) all this yummy sounding food and I'm just drooling. Actually, I think I gained about two inches on my hips just watching her put some of that stuff in the cart.
And one last comment about BNL ~ I've been spelling naked as nekkid too much. FYI, www.barenekkidladies.com does NOT take you to a BNL website. Thank goodness that isn't a real site because I kind of hate to think about what you would find on a site like that.