Life's tough, isn't it? :)
Friday, June 30, 2006
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Daily Dose of Cuteness ~ Thanks to Alyssa for being so cute!
One of Alyssa's current favorite books is a Sesame Street Book called "Cookie See, Cookie Do" Each page is Elmo saying to do something, then you flip open the page and it will say "Cookie See Cookie Do *insert other SS character* too, you can, too!" We get to the page where Elmo says "Touch your nose. Touch your toes! Cookie See, Cookie Do Bert, too, so can you!" and here's where the cuteness really poured forth. Normally Alyssa and I will touch her nose together (she's finally nailed all the facial "body parts" and then we'll touch her toes together. Well today, I happened to be sitting cross legged on the floor with her in my lap, so she reached out and grabbed my toes and wiggled them as I was wiggling hers. TOO STINKIN' SWEET! I love that kid.
My second favorite book moment is from her long time fave "Oh My Oh My Oh Dinosaurs". We'll get to the last page where it reads "Dinosaurs looking right at you to say goodbye because we're through". As soon as I say "you" she'll start waving at the dinosaurs in the book. Can you FEEL my heart melting?! I love that kid!
If I had a dollar for every time I said that, our money troubles would be over and I would take everyone I know on a vacation to a tropical island somewhere. Bring on the cabana boys and fruity drinks with umbrellas in them!
My second favorite book moment is from her long time fave "Oh My Oh My Oh Dinosaurs". We'll get to the last page where it reads "Dinosaurs looking right at you to say goodbye because we're through". As soon as I say "you" she'll start waving at the dinosaurs in the book. Can you FEEL my heart melting?! I love that kid!
If I had a dollar for every time I said that, our money troubles would be over and I would take everyone I know on a vacation to a tropical island somewhere. Bring on the cabana boys and fruity drinks with umbrellas in them!
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
I'm worth a lot, too!
Last night our insurance woman came over to talk to us about life insurance. Dum dum dummmmmmmm. Something that I know we really need to do (along with wills and all that jazz), but its so easy to put off because a) we don't have a whole lot of extra money lying around and b) who wants to think about that stuff?! But it turned out to be quite the ego boost for me. I always think about how screwed Alyssa and I would be if something happened to Adam since he's the one that brings all the money into the house, but last night I realized just how screwed Adam could be if something happened to me. We need to take out a policy just as big (if not bigger than Adam's ~ size DOES matter in this case) to cover MY worth (what Adam would have to pay for childcare, ect) if something happened to me. I want to put the estimate sheet on the fridge to prove to myself that just because I don't "work" and bring a paycheck in, I'm still damn important to this well oiled machine we call our family! Money, schmoney, honey . . . its all about the amount of life insurance you need to "replace" me.
Thursday, June 22, 2006
Have I mentioned that she cracks me up?
I was getting ready to put Alyssa to bed tonight when Joey was going nuts barking at the kids next door, so on our way to Alyssa's bedroom I stuck Joey in our room so that she wouldn't keep barking and wake Alyssa up. Usually she'll just go hide under the bed or next to the toilet and be perfectly content, but not tonight. Tonight she is barking at an octive that no human should be able to hear and trying desparately to dig her way through our bedroom door. I was getting ready to go in there and beat her, I mean release her when I hear "no, no Jo!" coming from Alyssa's room. HOW STINKIN' CUTE IS THAT?!?!?!?!?!
PS Christy, this entry is basically for you because I wanted to blog about SOMETHING since I know you live for my blog, but for crying out loud ~ update your own already!!!!
PS Christy, this entry is basically for you because I wanted to blog about SOMETHING since I know you live for my blog, but for crying out loud ~ update your own already!!!!
Monday, June 19, 2006
Sing what?
I found this site listing misinterpreted/mis-sang songs from Boomer's sister Angie's blog. (I think I've turned into a blog stalker for Angie since I found out that she teaches jazzercise and I'm totally in awe of her now. Is that creepy? ;) ) Anyway, I was looking through there and found myself seriously dumbstruck by some of the "oops" people had. Take the Beach Boys "Fun, Fun, Fun" ~ "she'll have fun, fun, fun 'till her Daddy takes her tea bag away". Huh? What kind of moron thinks that that could be the words to a song? It doesn't make any sense . . . but then I started thinking about my own experiences . . .
My classic song "oops" that will haunt me until the day I die is from "Bad, Bad Leroy Brown". You know the line "Badder than 'Ol King Kong"? Well I seriously thought it was "Badder than Whooping Cough". Come on! Whooping Cough is BAD, people!
Then there was our white water rafting trip to Colorado where Kimmy and I kept singing "Do you come from the land of hunger?" instead of "Do you come from the land down under?". Maybe we were affected by lack of food during that trip. Yeah, that's it.
My classic song "oops" that will haunt me until the day I die is from "Bad, Bad Leroy Brown". You know the line "Badder than 'Ol King Kong"? Well I seriously thought it was "Badder than Whooping Cough". Come on! Whooping Cough is BAD, people!
Then there was our white water rafting trip to Colorado where Kimmy and I kept singing "Do you come from the land of hunger?" instead of "Do you come from the land down under?". Maybe we were affected by lack of food during that trip. Yeah, that's it.
Back from the land 'o lakes . . .
We spent a long weekend in Hastings, MN for Eric and Hope's wedding. Overall, I *think* we had a good time, but Adam's blog may tell a different story.
Things I learned while on vacation:
*When traveling with a toddler, do NOT pack ANY white shirts (I packed 2, and both came home poop stained ~ and my top for the wedding also has a nice, pink, watermelon dumdum stain on it)
*Alyssa is MOST DEFINITELY not ready for her own big girl bed. She slept with me for part of both nights that we were in the hotel. Let's just say, it was an adventure in and of itself. There's nothing like being woken up by a toe in your eye or mouth or nose.
*Iowa and Minnesota's exit sign numbers correspond to the mile marker that the exit is located on. How convenient! According to Adam not all states do that. Dumb asses.
I absolutely love how everyone in the Olsen/Chipman family is totally head over heels in love with Alyssa. Its such a heartwarming feeling to see her being wrapped up in so much family love since she doesn't have a whole lot of "blood" family. Unfortunately, her debut of the chicken dance had to be postponed due to "the runs" (hence the poop stained shirts), but hopefully we'll be able to break it out come the 4th of July.
The wedding was held at a Pioneer Village near Hastings, which was really neat. The church was this small old-fashioned building and the reception hall was a really beautiful log cabin-type building. They had hired a horse and buggy/carriage to give Eric and Hope a ride after the ceremony, then it stuck around for a couple hours so that the guests could go for rides around the property (lots of cute pioneer village buildings), too. Besides the wedding for the most part we just hung out at the hotel and hot tub/pool. We did make our way down to the Mississippi river for some photo ops (needed SOMETHING to scrapbook) and we hit a creamery in town that had AMAZING ice cream a couple times. The best was the birthday cake ice cream ~ it had chunks of angelfood cake in it and sprinkles! We were told that the drive would only take 4 1/2 hours, but not so with a toddler and her grandpa. The drive up took 6 hours (with two stops) and the drive back took about 7 hours (but we did stop and have a "real" lunch). It was a looonnngggg weekend and I'm glad to be home, but it was really nice to get away.
Things I learned while on vacation:
*When traveling with a toddler, do NOT pack ANY white shirts (I packed 2, and both came home poop stained ~ and my top for the wedding also has a nice, pink, watermelon dumdum stain on it)
*Alyssa is MOST DEFINITELY not ready for her own big girl bed. She slept with me for part of both nights that we were in the hotel. Let's just say, it was an adventure in and of itself. There's nothing like being woken up by a toe in your eye or mouth or nose.
*Iowa and Minnesota's exit sign numbers correspond to the mile marker that the exit is located on. How convenient! According to Adam not all states do that. Dumb asses.
I absolutely love how everyone in the Olsen/Chipman family is totally head over heels in love with Alyssa. Its such a heartwarming feeling to see her being wrapped up in so much family love since she doesn't have a whole lot of "blood" family. Unfortunately, her debut of the chicken dance had to be postponed due to "the runs" (hence the poop stained shirts), but hopefully we'll be able to break it out come the 4th of July.
The wedding was held at a Pioneer Village near Hastings, which was really neat. The church was this small old-fashioned building and the reception hall was a really beautiful log cabin-type building. They had hired a horse and buggy/carriage to give Eric and Hope a ride after the ceremony, then it stuck around for a couple hours so that the guests could go for rides around the property (lots of cute pioneer village buildings), too. Besides the wedding for the most part we just hung out at the hotel and hot tub/pool. We did make our way down to the Mississippi river for some photo ops (needed SOMETHING to scrapbook) and we hit a creamery in town that had AMAZING ice cream a couple times. The best was the birthday cake ice cream ~ it had chunks of angelfood cake in it and sprinkles! We were told that the drive would only take 4 1/2 hours, but not so with a toddler and her grandpa. The drive up took 6 hours (with two stops) and the drive back took about 7 hours (but we did stop and have a "real" lunch). It was a looonnngggg weekend and I'm glad to be home, but it was really nice to get away.
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Tuesday beef
Not that kind of beef . . . a complaint kind of beef.
Today it hit me that we need to face reality and accept that we will be making two house payments again next month, which will suck 75% of our income (okay, Adam's income) down the drain. Plus, it doesn't look like my big business venture is going to take off quite as soon as we had planned (although I TOTALLY understand wanting to stay home longer with Miss Lenka, Angie), so I'm feeling a bit strapped. So what do I do when I'm all ready to get riled up about something and need some company? I call Julia. I know she'll get all worked up with me in a heartbeat. I started telling her horror stories of our evil realtor (okay, so maybe I "expanded" a little bit, but what do you expect from a drama queen?!). She produced a wonderful display of outrage, which was what I was counting on.
The man ASSURED me that we would have the house sold in two weeks at most and here we are at three weeks without even a nibble. COME ON PEOPLE! GET OUTRAGED! WRITE YOUR CONGRESSMAN! SEND MONEY (to me)!!!!!!!!!!!!
The final nail in the coffin of my day was when I remembered our realtor, let's call him "Jim" (haha Eric!), said that he would be taking out an add complete with a picture in the Sunday paper last week to grab people's attention. I dug through the paper and found the ad which read:
*insert address here* is spectacular. Refridge and washer/dryer stay. Comfortable rec room with fireplace. *insert price and "Jim"'s phone number*
THAT'S FREAKING ALL IT SAID.
HELLO!? How about listing that it has 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms? Maybe I'm a moron, but I would rather know how many bedrooms/bathrooms a house had instead of knowing that it has a "comfortable rec room". Who cares if the house has a bedroom or a bathroom; I just want to make sure it doesn't have an uncomfortable rec room.
Petty, I know, but it bothers me.
Today it hit me that we need to face reality and accept that we will be making two house payments again next month, which will suck 75% of our income (okay, Adam's income) down the drain. Plus, it doesn't look like my big business venture is going to take off quite as soon as we had planned (although I TOTALLY understand wanting to stay home longer with Miss Lenka, Angie), so I'm feeling a bit strapped. So what do I do when I'm all ready to get riled up about something and need some company? I call Julia. I know she'll get all worked up with me in a heartbeat. I started telling her horror stories of our evil realtor (okay, so maybe I "expanded" a little bit, but what do you expect from a drama queen?!). She produced a wonderful display of outrage, which was what I was counting on.
The man ASSURED me that we would have the house sold in two weeks at most and here we are at three weeks without even a nibble. COME ON PEOPLE! GET OUTRAGED! WRITE YOUR CONGRESSMAN! SEND MONEY (to me)!!!!!!!!!!!!
The final nail in the coffin of my day was when I remembered our realtor, let's call him "Jim" (haha Eric!), said that he would be taking out an add complete with a picture in the Sunday paper last week to grab people's attention. I dug through the paper and found the ad which read:
*insert address here* is spectacular. Refridge and washer/dryer stay. Comfortable rec room with fireplace. *insert price and "Jim"'s phone number*
THAT'S FREAKING ALL IT SAID.
HELLO!? How about listing that it has 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms? Maybe I'm a moron, but I would rather know how many bedrooms/bathrooms a house had instead of knowing that it has a "comfortable rec room". Who cares if the house has a bedroom or a bathroom; I just want to make sure it doesn't have an uncomfortable rec room.
Petty, I know, but it bothers me.
Monday, June 12, 2006
20 months
Dear Alyssa,
You are 20 months old today. I cannot believe how old that seems!!! When I was pregnant, 18 months was the "magic" age when I thought that I would start thinking of you as a toddler. Turns out that I started thinking of you as a toddler as soon as you started "toddling". Imagine that. :) So, I kind of felt like I lost about 6 months of "baby" time because at about a year old I started thinking of you as a toddler. And I expected the toddler time to go from 18 months to at least 2 1/2 years old. Well, you fooled me again, you little turkey, because you are turning into a full fledged KID!
I know I probably say this in every letter to you, but you are so SMART! Just Saturday you taught yourself how to blow bubbles with your spit. I think I was at least 4 before I did that. You were so cute, walking around saying "mwah, mwah, mwah" and blowing these giant bubbles out of your mouth. (Only a mother could find spit coming out of a mouth cute) You constantly amaze me at how you understand how things work and where things are supposed to go. If I hand you one of your bowls or cups out of the dishwasher and ask you to put it away, you head right for the drawer where your "kitchen supplies" are. If the dogs want to go out, you'll point to Lexi's leash as if you're afraid I might forget that she needs to have that on before she goes out. In the morning after you've finished your cereal, you'll stack your cup and your spoon inside your bowl and hold it out to me as if to say "all finished!". A couple weeks ago you ate all the cereal out of your bowl (sometimes using a spoon, sometimes using your hands; you don't really care) and lifted the bowl to your lips to finish drinking all the milk. Remarkably you didn't spill a drop! How did you know that that's what you were supposed to do? Daddy and I don't eat cereal in front of you that often ~ its just amazing what a sponge you are. Our new house has toilets in it that you can flush (the old house "flushers" were too hard) and after I go to the bathroom, you insist that you have to flush the toilet for me. You'll flush it, then start clapping, and walk out of the bathroom just as pleased as punch.
You're still not talking too much and you're still really holding out on Daddy. You call him mama all the time and sometimes if he tries to get you to say "dada", you'll lay face down on the floor and shake your head no like you're being tortured. You will say it for a twizzler, though!
This weekend we're going to Eric and Hope's wedding. I've been trying to teach you to do "The Chicken Dance" so that the Olsen family has even one more reason to think that you are the cutest and smartest and best little girl in the world. You do a pretty good job with it. Yesterday I went to get you up from your nap and you were lying in your crib practicing your "wings".
I would say your favorite toy this month is my thermometer. I keep it next to the bed so that I can take my temperature every morning and you seem to think it makes a very fine cell phone. You love that it beeps when you turn it on/off and I'm constantly finding you with it held up to your ear, just jabbering away in your own little language.
You love being outside and going for walks. When we moved to the new house, we knew that one of our first changes was going to have to be putting up a fence to keep the dogs in. Now I think its even more important to put up a fence to keep you in because you are IN LOVE with the neighbors swingsets and sandbox (not that they mind having you come visit, it just gets a little tiresome for old Mommy and Daddy). We set up a little pool in the backyard that you've had a lot of fun with and you're getting to be an expert slider on your little castle slide.
I really love this age that you are at right now. It can be VERY frustrating at times and you have had a couple time outs because you're starting to "test the waters" of independance, but overall you are such a happy, wonderful, sweet, thoughtful, smart, and beautiful little girl and we are sooo lucky to have you in our lives.
Love always,
Mama/Mommeeeeeeee
You are 20 months old today. I cannot believe how old that seems!!! When I was pregnant, 18 months was the "magic" age when I thought that I would start thinking of you as a toddler. Turns out that I started thinking of you as a toddler as soon as you started "toddling". Imagine that. :) So, I kind of felt like I lost about 6 months of "baby" time because at about a year old I started thinking of you as a toddler. And I expected the toddler time to go from 18 months to at least 2 1/2 years old. Well, you fooled me again, you little turkey, because you are turning into a full fledged KID!
I know I probably say this in every letter to you, but you are so SMART! Just Saturday you taught yourself how to blow bubbles with your spit. I think I was at least 4 before I did that. You were so cute, walking around saying "mwah, mwah, mwah" and blowing these giant bubbles out of your mouth. (Only a mother could find spit coming out of a mouth cute) You constantly amaze me at how you understand how things work and where things are supposed to go. If I hand you one of your bowls or cups out of the dishwasher and ask you to put it away, you head right for the drawer where your "kitchen supplies" are. If the dogs want to go out, you'll point to Lexi's leash as if you're afraid I might forget that she needs to have that on before she goes out. In the morning after you've finished your cereal, you'll stack your cup and your spoon inside your bowl and hold it out to me as if to say "all finished!". A couple weeks ago you ate all the cereal out of your bowl (sometimes using a spoon, sometimes using your hands; you don't really care) and lifted the bowl to your lips to finish drinking all the milk. Remarkably you didn't spill a drop! How did you know that that's what you were supposed to do? Daddy and I don't eat cereal in front of you that often ~ its just amazing what a sponge you are. Our new house has toilets in it that you can flush (the old house "flushers" were too hard) and after I go to the bathroom, you insist that you have to flush the toilet for me. You'll flush it, then start clapping, and walk out of the bathroom just as pleased as punch.
You're still not talking too much and you're still really holding out on Daddy. You call him mama all the time and sometimes if he tries to get you to say "dada", you'll lay face down on the floor and shake your head no like you're being tortured. You will say it for a twizzler, though!
This weekend we're going to Eric and Hope's wedding. I've been trying to teach you to do "The Chicken Dance" so that the Olsen family has even one more reason to think that you are the cutest and smartest and best little girl in the world. You do a pretty good job with it. Yesterday I went to get you up from your nap and you were lying in your crib practicing your "wings".
I would say your favorite toy this month is my thermometer. I keep it next to the bed so that I can take my temperature every morning and you seem to think it makes a very fine cell phone. You love that it beeps when you turn it on/off and I'm constantly finding you with it held up to your ear, just jabbering away in your own little language.
You love being outside and going for walks. When we moved to the new house, we knew that one of our first changes was going to have to be putting up a fence to keep the dogs in. Now I think its even more important to put up a fence to keep you in because you are IN LOVE with the neighbors swingsets and sandbox (not that they mind having you come visit, it just gets a little tiresome for old Mommy and Daddy). We set up a little pool in the backyard that you've had a lot of fun with and you're getting to be an expert slider on your little castle slide.
I really love this age that you are at right now. It can be VERY frustrating at times and you have had a couple time outs because you're starting to "test the waters" of independance, but overall you are such a happy, wonderful, sweet, thoughtful, smart, and beautiful little girl and we are sooo lucky to have you in our lives.
Love always,
Mama/Mommeeeeeeee
Bliss, plain and simple
I would be willing to bet it has been about 22 months to the day since I went out and just splurged on myself to any great extent. I would have been about 7 months pregnant, and I think that was when the "Oh my God, we're having a baby and I'm quitting my job and we're not going to have any money and we're going to have diaper our baby in dish towels and eat ramen noodles for every meal" panic hit me.
Yesterday, I had my first Close to my Heart home gathering. (CTMH is scrapbooking and stamping supplies for those of you not "in the know"). Because I was the hostess with the mostest this month and my sucker friends bought so much stuff I got to pick $120 worth of stuff out of the catalog for F-R-E-E!!! Happy Shopping to M-E! I have almost polished off my entire wish list from the summer idea book and I can't wait to get all my new things so I can start scrapping (and organizing since I did buy some organizing stuff). Maybe I'll even post picture of all my fun stuff and all the super cool fabulous layouts I'll do with them.
Yesterday, I had my first Close to my Heart home gathering. (CTMH is scrapbooking and stamping supplies for those of you not "in the know"). Because I was the hostess with the mostest this month and my sucker friends bought so much stuff I got to pick $120 worth of stuff out of the catalog for F-R-E-E!!! Happy Shopping to M-E! I have almost polished off my entire wish list from the summer idea book and I can't wait to get all my new things so I can start scrapping (and organizing since I did buy some organizing stuff). Maybe I'll even post picture of all my fun stuff and all the super cool fabulous layouts I'll do with them.
Saturday, June 10, 2006
I need
Inspired by blog entries from Adam and Boomer, I decided to use google to find out what "Christi needs". Here's what google had to tell me:
Christi needs new multi-purpose arena. *I would settle for a new multi-purpose cleaner, I feel like I'm kind of in a rut.*
Christi needs constant attention and regular maintenance *Hell yeah!*
Christi needs no gimmick *Wish I would have known that a long time ago*
Christi needs to finish knitting the shop sample poncho that she started a month ago *definitely sounds like me*
Christi needs qualified individuals to fill positions listed on our web site * I won't accept applications from just ANYBODY, you know!*
Christi needs someone else to step up. *yes, because I'm scared of heights, you know*
Christi needs to take bold new measures to deal with the problem *check, did that at lunch today with the inlaws.
Funny, I just thought I needed more money, more time, a smaller ass (and thighs and stomach and all other body parts), more sleep and to sell my old house. Amazing the things you can learn from the internet.
Christi needs new multi-purpose arena. *I would settle for a new multi-purpose cleaner, I feel like I'm kind of in a rut.*
Christi needs constant attention and regular maintenance *Hell yeah!*
Christi needs no gimmick *Wish I would have known that a long time ago*
Christi needs to finish knitting the shop sample poncho that she started a month ago *definitely sounds like me*
Christi needs qualified individuals to fill positions listed on our web site * I won't accept applications from just ANYBODY, you know!*
Christi needs someone else to step up. *yes, because I'm scared of heights, you know*
Christi needs to take bold new measures to deal with the problem *check, did that at lunch today with the inlaws.
Funny, I just thought I needed more money, more time, a smaller ass (and thighs and stomach and all other body parts), more sleep and to sell my old house. Amazing the things you can learn from the internet.
Thursday, June 08, 2006
Mom's Say the Darnedest Things
As a mom I have anxiously awaited the day when I can tell people "Do you know what Alyssa said today?!" and then tell some cute little antidote about what my charming offspring said. But instead of that happening, I have found things coming out of my mouth that I never would have imagined saying.
Take last night for example
Me: "Alyssa, stop making out with daddy's chapstick . . .I'm serious, stop tonguing it and put the lid back on NOW".
Take last night for example
Me: "Alyssa, stop making out with daddy's chapstick . . .I'm serious, stop tonguing it and put the lid back on NOW".
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Damn Credit Cards!
Okay a few months ago I was doing SPECTACULAR with my spending. My credit card bills for a couple months were lower than they had been in YEARS and I was feeling so proud of myself. Then came the month from heck aka the month that we moved. I had to put our house inspection (almost $400) on my credit card, plus carpet for the old house ($200) on my credit card, so that month was kind of "ouchy". Then last month was pretty high, too, just from weird, random things. So I went to check my balance today because I felt like I was doing really well. Not so much. If someone else would pay for my groceries, gas, and diapers I would be sitting pretty!
On the up side . . . I'm quickly packing away the Disney Dream dollars! Disney Cruise here we come! I think my balance is almost 400 points. Now I'm not sure how points actually translate to dollars, its probably like $4, but 400 points sounds impressive, right?
On the up side . . . I'm quickly packing away the Disney Dream dollars! Disney Cruise here we come! I think my balance is almost 400 points. Now I'm not sure how points actually translate to dollars, its probably like $4, but 400 points sounds impressive, right?
Monday, June 05, 2006
Monday Stupidity
I've been meaning to blog about this for a long time. Maybe I already have and my brain is such mush that I've forgotten. Eh ~ I'm too lazy to go back and see if I blogged about it already, so pretend its new and fresh.
A few weeks back we got a confirmation post card from the post office saying that our mail would be forwarded to our new address. It then listed the types of mail that would be forwarded and details like that. The final sentance of the post card read something like: If you do not speak English or cannot understand this post card, please take it to your nearest Postal Office for assistance.
How the heck is someone who doesn't speak English going to figure that out?! I think it may be a conspiracy.
A few weeks back we got a confirmation post card from the post office saying that our mail would be forwarded to our new address. It then listed the types of mail that would be forwarded and details like that. The final sentance of the post card read something like: If you do not speak English or cannot understand this post card, please take it to your nearest Postal Office for assistance.
How the heck is someone who doesn't speak English going to figure that out?! I think it may be a conspiracy.
Sunday, June 04, 2006
Melancholy
If I had to describe how I've been feeling lately, it would be melancholy. I've been feeling really "forgettable" lately and I'm struggling to figure out exactly where I belong and what my purpose is in life. I normally try not to have these posts on my blog, I try to keep these feelings inside and hidden, but I need an outlet this time.
I think this all started about the time we moved to the new house. I felt so helpless as I watched Adam log hour after hour after hour on the old house; like I should be doing something more to help, but a) its really hard to help when you factor Alyssa into the equation. I did go over any time I could get a babysitter, but I still don't feel like I did enough. b) I don't have enough faith in myself to believe that I could do things to help. I've been feeling so clumsy and awkward lately that I was afraid I would make things worse. I was so terrified that I was going to start painting the bedroom and knock an entire gallon of paint over on the floor. Or I would ruin the toilet seat by leaving a bottle of windex on it that evidently had a leak (wait! I did do that! Let's hope someone is just looking for a new house that has a weird blue ring on the toilet seat).
Then a few weeks ago Alyssa and I went to my parents and all I heard all weekend was my mom calling her friends to say "Alyssa's here, come on over!” What about me? I hate the fact that now when I see my parents they rush towards me like they always did, but instead of rushing forward to give me a hug, they rush forward to grab Alyssa. And then sometimes, as an after thought, they remember to give me a hug or attention or acknowledge my presence. I love that they get so excited at seeing her, but darn it, I need some love, too!
I've been frustrated lately that the few times I get to hang out with friends, I've had to take Alyssa along. I went out with Chris and Julia for Chris' birthday lunch and it was "table for 4 ~ the horror". Now, this is two fold. Ever since I quit TPG I've felt more and more uncomfortable going out with Chris and Julia. When we were all working together we went out for lunch all the time to complain about work and co-workers, but I think I've gotten to the point 2 years lately where I just can't relate. I felt like they felt awkward because they had to come up with topics that could include me, and I felt awkward when they started talking about work and I just had to sit there. Plus there's the fact that I had to bring along this noisy little tablemate, which I always feel weird about when I'm hanging out with someone who doesn't have kids of their own. I know that both of them adore Alyssa, but I still feel guilty for having to turn "3 amigo time" into "3 amigo + 1 time".
So I've been feeling really lost and struggling lately and all I really wanted was a couple hours away from my kid and away from my house where I could just relax and try to enjoy myself. I was trying to talk Adam into letting me call my parents to see if they would babysit yesterday so we could go out for dinner and a movie. He wasn't going for it, so I dropped it. Then two hours later he got "kidnapped" to go out for a movie because Eric and Chad knew that he could use some time "away". I sobbed. Then I found out that the guys got Adam to go see "The DaVinci Code". The movie that I've wanted to see since I knew that it was being made into a movie. The movie that Adam wouldn't see with me. The movie that Julia said she would see with me, but decided to go see with Brad. See, forgettable.
I knew that he would drag his heals about going out with the guys because he knew how sad I was yesterday and how I've been struggling lately. But I know that he really deserves to go out and have fun, too. He does so much for Alyssa and I, I honestly don't know how I would live without him, and I'm touched that Eric and Chad realize that and wanted to make sure that he lived it up away from the old ball and chain. I know that if I had told him not to go, he would have stayed home. But as much as I realize that I need some time for myself before I lose myself completely, I have a hard time taking it. It’s a lot easier to put everyone else's wants/needs ahead of mine. I guess its my way of hoping that someone will acknowledge how much I do and appreciate me and tell me that I deserve some happiness, too.
I hesitate to actually post this entry because it means that I let my shield down and let people who think I have it all and keep it all together know that I'm far from perfect. I have to admit to my imperfections and irrationality. I've never been able to do that before because I'm too scared that I'm going lose those people I care about most; that I'm going to scare them away. But for some reason this time I feel like I need to share this with my "loyal readers", even though most of them are the ones I want to hide this from the most.
I think this all started about the time we moved to the new house. I felt so helpless as I watched Adam log hour after hour after hour on the old house; like I should be doing something more to help, but a) its really hard to help when you factor Alyssa into the equation. I did go over any time I could get a babysitter, but I still don't feel like I did enough. b) I don't have enough faith in myself to believe that I could do things to help. I've been feeling so clumsy and awkward lately that I was afraid I would make things worse. I was so terrified that I was going to start painting the bedroom and knock an entire gallon of paint over on the floor. Or I would ruin the toilet seat by leaving a bottle of windex on it that evidently had a leak (wait! I did do that! Let's hope someone is just looking for a new house that has a weird blue ring on the toilet seat).
Then a few weeks ago Alyssa and I went to my parents and all I heard all weekend was my mom calling her friends to say "Alyssa's here, come on over!” What about me? I hate the fact that now when I see my parents they rush towards me like they always did, but instead of rushing forward to give me a hug, they rush forward to grab Alyssa. And then sometimes, as an after thought, they remember to give me a hug or attention or acknowledge my presence. I love that they get so excited at seeing her, but darn it, I need some love, too!
I've been frustrated lately that the few times I get to hang out with friends, I've had to take Alyssa along. I went out with Chris and Julia for Chris' birthday lunch and it was "table for 4 ~ the horror". Now, this is two fold. Ever since I quit TPG I've felt more and more uncomfortable going out with Chris and Julia. When we were all working together we went out for lunch all the time to complain about work and co-workers, but I think I've gotten to the point 2 years lately where I just can't relate. I felt like they felt awkward because they had to come up with topics that could include me, and I felt awkward when they started talking about work and I just had to sit there. Plus there's the fact that I had to bring along this noisy little tablemate, which I always feel weird about when I'm hanging out with someone who doesn't have kids of their own. I know that both of them adore Alyssa, but I still feel guilty for having to turn "3 amigo time" into "3 amigo + 1 time".
So I've been feeling really lost and struggling lately and all I really wanted was a couple hours away from my kid and away from my house where I could just relax and try to enjoy myself. I was trying to talk Adam into letting me call my parents to see if they would babysit yesterday so we could go out for dinner and a movie. He wasn't going for it, so I dropped it. Then two hours later he got "kidnapped" to go out for a movie because Eric and Chad knew that he could use some time "away". I sobbed. Then I found out that the guys got Adam to go see "The DaVinci Code". The movie that I've wanted to see since I knew that it was being made into a movie. The movie that Adam wouldn't see with me. The movie that Julia said she would see with me, but decided to go see with Brad. See, forgettable.
I knew that he would drag his heals about going out with the guys because he knew how sad I was yesterday and how I've been struggling lately. But I know that he really deserves to go out and have fun, too. He does so much for Alyssa and I, I honestly don't know how I would live without him, and I'm touched that Eric and Chad realize that and wanted to make sure that he lived it up away from the old ball and chain. I know that if I had told him not to go, he would have stayed home. But as much as I realize that I need some time for myself before I lose myself completely, I have a hard time taking it. It’s a lot easier to put everyone else's wants/needs ahead of mine. I guess its my way of hoping that someone will acknowledge how much I do and appreciate me and tell me that I deserve some happiness, too.
I hesitate to actually post this entry because it means that I let my shield down and let people who think I have it all and keep it all together know that I'm far from perfect. I have to admit to my imperfections and irrationality. I've never been able to do that before because I'm too scared that I'm going lose those people I care about most; that I'm going to scare them away. But for some reason this time I feel like I need to share this with my "loyal readers", even though most of them are the ones I want to hide this from the most.
Friday, June 02, 2006
I'm giddy!
I get to babysit Evan and Charlie in about an hour! I'm so stinkin' excited! I would have been more excited if I could have had date night with Christy instead of dumb 'ol Jeff (just kidding!!!!), but I can take one for the team. :) Poor Christy and Jeff haven't been out just the two of them since their HONEYMOON, so I'm thrilled that they took me up on my offer to babysit. I can't wait to hang out with the boyz! Alyssa is going on hour 3 of her nap (she didn't go down until 3 this afternoon), so I think she's getting ready to hang with them, too!
Oh! And I'm giddy also because I got my phone back today and its perfectly fixed! It works! It works! I can see my screen again! I can take pictures and text message and pix message and see my phone book and all that good stuff again! Happy Day!!! It took less that 24 hours and $50 to give me such bliss . . . I wish I would have known that 8 months ago and I would have been a lot happier.
Oh! And I'm giddy also because I got my phone back today and its perfectly fixed! It works! It works! I can see my screen again! I can take pictures and text message and pix message and see my phone book and all that good stuff again! Happy Day!!! It took less that 24 hours and $50 to give me such bliss . . . I wish I would have known that 8 months ago and I would have been a lot happier.
About me
I've read so many of these over the past couple weeks that I don't even know who to give "credit" to. So, if you read this and you filled this out, I got it from you! :)
1. Yourself: Creative Perfectionist
2. Your car: Ford Escape
3. Your Hair: Cute today
4. Your mother: Best friend
5. Your Father: I admire
6. Your Favorite Item: My Adam
7. Your Dream Last Night: Can't remember **** but interesting side note ~ the other night I had a dream that Chris Noth was my biological father and I went to visit his California vineyard that was full of orange trees. Maybe he made Orange wine.
8. Your Favorite Drink: Fruit-infused Lemonade
9. Your Dream Home: Cinderella's Castle
10. The Room You Are In: Office/Den
11. Your Pets: Lexi, Joey
12. Your fear: Kites damnit!
13. Where You Want to be in Ten Years: Right here
14. Who you hung out with last night: neighbor kids (and my own)
15. What You’re Not: Technologically knowledgable.
16. Your Best Friends: Christy Angie
17. One of Your Wish List Items: Housekeeper Money
18. Your Gender: Girly girl
19. The Last Thing You Did: Watched TV
20. What You Are Wearing: Swimming suit
21. Your Favorite Weather: Early Fall
22. Your Favorite Book: Secret Garden
23. The Last Thing You Ate: Chips n Cheese
24. Your Life: Rewarding and comfortable
25. Your mood: exciting and relaxed.
26. The last person you talked to on the phone: Angie Dwight (thank goodness you called, Angie, or I would have had to put my mother-in-law!)
1. Yourself: Creative Perfectionist
2. Your car: Ford Escape
3. Your Hair: Cute today
4. Your mother: Best friend
5. Your Father: I admire
6. Your Favorite Item: My Adam
7. Your Dream Last Night: Can't remember **** but interesting side note ~ the other night I had a dream that Chris Noth was my biological father and I went to visit his California vineyard that was full of orange trees. Maybe he made Orange wine.
8. Your Favorite Drink: Fruit-infused Lemonade
9. Your Dream Home: Cinderella's Castle
10. The Room You Are In: Office/Den
11. Your Pets: Lexi, Joey
12. Your fear: Kites damnit!
13. Where You Want to be in Ten Years: Right here
14. Who you hung out with last night: neighbor kids (and my own)
15. What You’re Not: Technologically knowledgable.
16. Your Best Friends: Christy Angie
17. One of Your Wish List Items: Housekeeper Money
18. Your Gender: Girly girl
19. The Last Thing You Did: Watched TV
20. What You Are Wearing: Swimming suit
21. Your Favorite Weather: Early Fall
22. Your Favorite Book: Secret Garden
23. The Last Thing You Ate: Chips n Cheese
24. Your Life: Rewarding and comfortable
25. Your mood: exciting and relaxed.
26. The last person you talked to on the phone: Angie Dwight (thank goodness you called, Angie, or I would have had to put my mother-in-law!)
Thursday, June 01, 2006
I have a confession . . .
I am absolutely, positively, freaked out by and terrified of kites.
I had been meaning to confess this for a long time on here, but I was reading Allison's blog and it reminded me. As much as I love Avery's Nemo kite, just looking at it flying up high made me feel like I was going to throw up. One of my favorite movies when I was younger was "Mary Poppins" and when they got to the "Let's Go Fly A Kite" part of the movie, I would have to turn away. I still listened, because I loved the song, but I couldn't watch it.
When I was younger I was so afraid that I would get picked up off the ground. I would actually lay myself out flat on my back on the ground as if that would help keep me down. I hated the pull of the string as it went from side to side in the air. Just the thought of it makes me ill. Adam's announced a couple months ago that she had bought kites (included a Care Bear one for Alyssa) for our next "family fun day" and I swear I felt myself go completely white just thinking about having to fly a kite. I know that I'm not going to get lifted off the ground (HELLO! I've been overweight since I was about 10!) and even if I did I could just let go of the string, but just the sensation of being so terrified and traumatized as a child makes me think that I will never ever be able to fly a kite the rest of my life.
Weird, huh?
I had been meaning to confess this for a long time on here, but I was reading Allison's blog and it reminded me. As much as I love Avery's Nemo kite, just looking at it flying up high made me feel like I was going to throw up. One of my favorite movies when I was younger was "Mary Poppins" and when they got to the "Let's Go Fly A Kite" part of the movie, I would have to turn away. I still listened, because I loved the song, but I couldn't watch it.
When I was younger I was so afraid that I would get picked up off the ground. I would actually lay myself out flat on my back on the ground as if that would help keep me down. I hated the pull of the string as it went from side to side in the air. Just the thought of it makes me ill. Adam's announced a couple months ago that she had bought kites (included a Care Bear one for Alyssa) for our next "family fun day" and I swear I felt myself go completely white just thinking about having to fly a kite. I know that I'm not going to get lifted off the ground (HELLO! I've been overweight since I was about 10!) and even if I did I could just let go of the string, but just the sensation of being so terrified and traumatized as a child makes me think that I will never ever be able to fly a kite the rest of my life.
Weird, huh?
Daily Dose of Cuteness
Please ignore the milky gums ~ she had just taken a big drink before I snapped this picture.
I could just eat her up!
Time out!
Alyssa got her first time out tonight. I still feel like she's a little bit young, but its been a topic on my October board for a couple days now and some of the moms on there swear by it, so I gave it a shot. I'm really trying to break Alyssa of her habit of climbing up onto tables. I don't know what it is, but the girl is ENTHRALLED by table tops. Please tell me this isn't a sign that she's going to be a stripper or something when she grows up. Although I hear they make good money . . . and she is awfully cute . . .
Anyway ~ back to the story at hand. She was kneeling on a chair eyeing the table in "that way", so I told her that if she got back up on the table she would go to time out. Up she went without batting a eye, so I picked her up and carried her to the steps. Adam and I had decided that we would go the "naughty step" route, thank you Nanny 911 and Super Nanny. I put her down the bottom step and set the timer for 1 minute. She stayed there for all of about 3 seconds, so the rest of the 57 seconds I gently held her in a sitting position and ignored her cries and flailing limbs (okay it wasn't really THAT bad). Longest freakin' 57 seconds of my life! I don't know that she got anything out of it, but after the minute was up I explained that she was in time out because she climbed on the table and gave her a kiss. Let's hope something sunk in because I don't want to have to go through that again for a long time.
Anyway ~ back to the story at hand. She was kneeling on a chair eyeing the table in "that way", so I told her that if she got back up on the table she would go to time out. Up she went without batting a eye, so I picked her up and carried her to the steps. Adam and I had decided that we would go the "naughty step" route, thank you Nanny 911 and Super Nanny. I put her down the bottom step and set the timer for 1 minute. She stayed there for all of about 3 seconds, so the rest of the 57 seconds I gently held her in a sitting position and ignored her cries and flailing limbs (okay it wasn't really THAT bad). Longest freakin' 57 seconds of my life! I don't know that she got anything out of it, but after the minute was up I explained that she was in time out because she climbed on the table and gave her a kiss. Let's hope something sunk in because I don't want to have to go through that again for a long time.
I feel like super mommy today!
I decided that I was going to put up Alyssa's new swimming pool this afternoon. As I was opening the box I read the fine print that "for 8 and 10 foot models at least 3 people will be required to set up pool". Hogwash, I thought! (The only reason I can figure out that you would need all those people is because you roll out the pool and then have to hold the plastic sides up while the water fills the pool; its not one of those blow up jobbies) So for all of you out there who want to know . . . you don't need 3 people. You need one smart-ass adult, 1 toddler (which is really like 2 adults working against you),and a "hold up the sides team" that could include: 2 plastic adult lawn chairs, 1 childsized plastic lawn chair, 1 little tykes mower, 1 old pool filter, and 1 fisher price chatter ride on toy. So, yes I probably looked like a complete moron propping the sides of the pool up with anything and everything within reach as I filled it with water, and I'm sure the neighbors got quite a kick out of it, but darn it I GOT THE SUCKER UP ALL BY MYSELF!
And most of the neighbor kids have already been in it and gave it the seal of approval.
Mission accomplished. I think I should go find myself a beer.
And most of the neighbor kids have already been in it and gave it the seal of approval.
Mission accomplished. I think I should go find myself a beer.
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