Recital Pictures

As previously mentioned, Alyssa's dance recital was last Saturday night. She did such a wonderful job. She was adorable and confident and I'm so, so proud of her. The silver outfit was her ballet costume and they danced to a kind of disco-y version of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, the the orange outfit was tap, which they performed to "Rugrat Rap" (evidently from the Rugrats movie.) I got misty eyed Friday night at rehearsal and Saturday night at the performance when they did their ballet routine ... probably didn't cry during that tap one because they were having such a great time jumping around and showing off their attitude.

Enjoy the pictures ~ and we have video of her dances if anyone wants to come over and see them!

notice the missing gloves in the second picture? She told me she didn't want to wear them; I guess she just humored me while I was getting her dressed and then ditched them as soon as I left the room. ;)

Alyssa's BFF Sophie, Alyssa, and Taye (one of my daycare kids)

Hello, My name is Joel!

I can be found spending my days ...

cruising in my cozy coupe ...
(rest easy now, Dee, your Joely has his very own)

trying new foods and/or fashion statements

sporting the Mickey Mouse "mohawk"

chatting it up with the ladies ... via pink shopping cart "stool"

The circle of life ...

Tonight was Alyssa's BIG dance recital. After wresting Joel to sit through the 45 minute Christmas recital and hearing rumors of a 3+ hour spring recital I decided that Joel needed to stay at home.

Problem: Both sets of babysitters aka grandparents were going to the recital.
Solution: Ask honorary cousin Sarah to come with my parents and stay at our house to watch Joel.
Weirdness: I taught Sarah's 3 year old Sunday School class AND used to babysit her and her younger brother.

Our lunch date: Pros and Cons

Today for lunch the kids and I met up with my wonderful friend, Christy, and her 3 boys at McDonalds. McDonalds WITH one of the huge play places. I found myself making a pro/con list of the experience on the way home and decided I would share. For anyone who might be considering doing that same thing. I figure its my mommy duty.

Pro: Getting to have lunch (and gossip time) with one of my favorite mommies and some of my favorite little guys.
Pro: Being proud of myself for ordering a salad when what I really wanted was some beefy something or other.
Pro: Proud of myself for NOT going through the drive through after loading up the kids and getting an ice cream cone. There is just something abouts soft serve ice cream cones and me lately. Yum.

So overall the lunch portion was pretty pro.

Now for the play play.

Con: Sign on door saying that socks are required; available at ordering counter for $1. *mind you its summer and my kids have been in sandals/crocs and I didn't even *think* about bringing socks.
Pro: My daughter immediately takes her socks off as soon as we get in the car, so I, by some miracle, actually have two pairs of socks floating around the backseat, saving myself $2.

Pro: Alyssa fell asleep instantly when we got home and hopefully will take a good nap.
Con: When told "time to go", Alyssa talked me into 2 more slides. 2 more slides and about 20 minutes of running around in the tunnels/tubes that lead up to the slides.
Pro: My Evan was around to chase her out of the tunnels/tubes.

Con: Play place was only for ages 3 - 12. So no playing for Joel. Which worked out okay, because he was tired and didn't mind sitting with me. And now that I think about it, I don't know that I would have wanted him climbing on that monster thing because with my luck he would get stuck/throw a fit somewhere in the middle and then I would have to have a breakdown.
Con: Play place was very LOUD.

I'm not sure if we'll make this a very regular outing. But it was good to see the Kleffmans!

Pet peeve

This may be my greatest pet peeve, and I don't think I've ever divulged it to anyone. Its such a "parenting" pet peeve. Or maybe just a mommy one.

It drives me NUTS when people sit down at the table before I have the entire meal ready to go. It bothers me when people/kids are just sitting at the table waiting for a meal to be served to them. I want to scream when people start eating and I'm still running around trying to get everything set out, drinks, the kids food ready, napkins, etc. I hate how it ends up feeling so chaotic and I feel like I'm constantly behind.

In my dream world, no one else would be in the kitchen while I was getting a meal ready. I would be able to get the plates filled, drinks poured, napkins, silverware, etc on the table and then everyone would could sit down. Everyone. At the same time. Without me stumbling over people while I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off.

I tried implementing my "wishes" today at lunch with daycare kids. There was a LOT of crying and some yelling and a lot of pulling kids away from the table/kitchen, but once everyone sat down, then it went much smoother. There was no "I need a napkin! I don't want a spoon; I want a fork! I want a drink! Where's MY pears?!"; there was just eating. (Did you notice that we seem to lack a lot of manners during the "demanding" phase of meals?)

Dear Joel ~ a few days past 16 months old

My sweet, sweet, buddy bear,

After watching you determinedly many, many times to climb the ladder on the swingset so that you could be on the top platform with the "big kids", my heart tightened. Where did my little baby boy go? Its not going to be very long before you are constantly trying to do everything that your big sister is doing. And I'm sure it won't be very long before you get VERY frustrated that you can't do everything Alyssa is doing. But I'm sure it also won't be long before there isn't much you *can't* do.

Today you tried each ladder, but when you couldn't pull yourself up, you seemed to take it all in stride and toddled off to find something else to play with. Kind of like you told yourself "Not yet" and accepted that.

Don't grow up so fast; Mommy isn't ready yet.

Tons and tons and tons of love,
Mommy

Worm Camp

This morning Alyssa attended the first of four mini-day camps that she is going to go to this summer at the preschool that she will attend in the fall. (Yes, I finally decided/broke down and our baby girl is starting preschool in the fall). Today's camp was called "Wormology". From what I've gathered from talking to the preschool director last week and the items Alyssa brought home this morning they dug for worms, then once they found a worm, they made a worm house and brought their worms home. Supposedly "Dr Worm" (a poor schmuck college student dressed up like a worm) was supposed to visit to teach the kids about worms. Alyssa told Adam tonight that worms don't have bodies. Interesting, eh? Anyway, the worm house is a plastic container with sand, dirt, lettuce, and wet newspaper scraps as best as I can tell. A handout came home titled "The Proper Care and Feeding of Your Worm". Thankfully the first instruction is to find a safe place in your yard for your worm within 3 days of bring it home. But the thing that *really* gets me is the last instruction "you may leave the cover off for your worm to get more air. It won't crawl out because he likes the dark." I don't think so. That worm's cover is staying on tight. I don't even want to THINK about worms crawling around my house. Blech. That worm needs to move to the back yard ASAP.

Uncle Mark

My brother and niece are in the area for a few days. I was telling Alyssa last night that Uncle Mark and cousin Brandy were going to come over today. Here's the rest of our conversation:

A: I don't like Uncle Mark*! (I really think this needs to be translated to I don't know/remember Uncle Mark)
M: Oh Uncle Mark is nice ~ remember last year he brought you your chairs for outside, your tent, and the elephant game?
A: I LOVE Uncle Mark!

So fickle.

This morning I reminded her that Mark and Brandy were coming this afternoon and she told Adam "Uncle Mark bring elephant game and chairs!" and declared that she likes Uncle Mark.

It makes me really sad that I had to create the "memory" of Mark by describing the gifts that he brought her. And then it makes me sad that I'm not closer to him to give Alyssa and Joel a better chance of having a good/familiar relationship with him. But we live 10 hours apart and see each other about once a year. I'm 28, married, with 2 young children and he is 43, divorced, and a single dad of an almost 18 year old. I'm not sure in that situation how close you can get/be. When you think about it, pretty much all we have in common is some DNA. And that we both like to bad mouth our sister from time time. ;)



* Several months ago Adam asked Alyssa who her favorite uncle was and then listed off her uncles. She immediately replied with Uncle Mark, which surprised us both because we assumed it would be one of Adam's brothers that she sees fairly regularly. Nope, it was "Uncle Mark ~ big dog!" that made the top of her uncle list. Evidently the wolf-dog and the gifts made quite the impression on little Miss Alyssa last summer.

Another "mommy moment" to check off my list

My list of things that I feel like I should experience once, and then never again, that is.

This afternoon I experienced the "child takes off diaper during naptime and finger paints/creates artwork with it" horror. Except in my child's case he rubbed it into his eye and then went super-duper high-pitched screaming insane. But same difference.

I *think* this is what went down. I put Joel down for a nap about 1, per usual. It was soo humid and sticky today that I decided to just put him down in a diaper since he hadn't made any attempt to take off his diaper yet. Mistake number 1, never underestimate the diaper taking off ability of a child. And now that I think about it, I think he took off his own diaper at about 4 months. Anyway, he woke up after about 45 minutes (about the time I was wrestling Alyssa into bed for her nap, imagine that) and I let him fuss for a few minutes and he fell back asleep. My theory is that he removed said diaper at this point in naptime. I also hypothesize that he pooped at some point and then rolled around in it enough to get some on his legs and hands. Then woke up and went to rub his eyes and VOILA! poop in the eye. At least it wasn't all over the walls. And there were just a couple spots on his sheet/pillowcase. But I think he did pee while standing up because there was a suspicious looking "arc" on the floor near his crib.

I love having a son ~ he's such an experience.

I don't like the money side of business

I hate talking money with my daycare customers. It makes me so uncomfortable ... like I feel like I don't *deserve* to be paid or something.

This morning one family dropped off and only had a check for 2 days worth of daycare. Monday, Memorial Day, is one of very few paid daycare holidays. And I figured that she just didn't think about that. But when I brought it up, the mom kind of got attitude with me. Said she would write me another check when she picked up the girls, but I felt like she was ticked that I was getting paid for not working. But SHE got paid for not working. So why is she any better than me? *disclaimer* I'm probably being much more sensitive that I should be about the whole situation, but I'm still feeling very uncomfortable around her. Then I realized that she probably didn't remember/realize that she needed to give me a deposit check to hold her kids' place in daycare for next fall because they are taking the summer off, so I e-mailed her about that. Now I'm afraid she'll be even more ticked at me. But I'm just following my contract which SHE signed. *sigh*

I got a returned check for non-sufficient funds for the second time for the other family that is dropping off/making payment today. I have in my contract that they have to pay a $25 fee and I will only accept cash from then on out. Well, its more of a pain for me to take in cash, so I told the mom last time that I'll give her another chance but if it happens again I would only be able to take cash. I didn't think it would happen again. Especially only a few weeks later. But it did. So now I have to tell her that she owes me back payment and that I'll only take cash. Which she was very open about warning me last time that she thought one of her checks was going to bounce, so she probably won't care, but it still makes me uncomfortable.

Come and get it!

Grandmom and Grandad gave Alyssa this little bird feeder for Christmas. Its pretty cute ~ it suction cups to a window, so you can see the birds up close and personal. I figured there was no way in heck that we would ever seen any birds since we have very few birds in our neighborhood (no big trees yet), but we put it up. This morning I was on the phone and I almost peed my pants when I saw two beautiful yellow finches breakfasting outside the playroom window! Since then we've had 3 finches (I think) and a wren ... its turning into THE PLACE for meals!

Strawberries: Day 1

My mom and I were shopping on Mother's Day and I found this strawberry plant pot (try saying that 5 times fast) on sale for $4. I've always wanted to grow strawberries, so I figured it couldn't hurt. My friend Staci was over yesterday and was admiring my pot (in the box and unplanted), so she motivated me to finally mix it all up and plant it. So we'll see what happens. Germination is supposed to happen in 10 - 15 days, so hopefully in a couple weeks I'll have some "buds" to share.

The Tivo Generation

Alyssa has started getting VERY upset with me when I can't "start it over!" when we turn on the TV and its the middle of a live show. Or when we're in the car and she wants me to start a song over on the radio. She's a demanding little turd.

Mixing business with pleasure

I'm really struggling lately with one of my daycare families and its really, really eating away at me. Hence the 3:50 AM blog post because I can't sleep. I feel like the situation is all my fault, but I have to keep reminding myself that it is a two way street. I feel like I crossed the client/friend line, which I wish I could take back. But I also feel like this family has started taking me for granted, which isn't fair to me. And who the hell announces, right in front of their daycare provider, that their child hates going to daycare? I understand that most kids would probably prefer to stay at home with their parents instead of their parents having to work, but the statement could have been worded a lot more "delicately". I know I'm probably being too sensitive about it, too, but it still stinks. Thank goodness I only have 2 more daycare days with this family until they are "off" for the summer. Maybe we just need some time apart. And there's a chance that the mom will start working full time next fall, which I'm definitely not going to sign up for. As my wise old Dad says, "everything will come out in the wash". But in the mean time, I wish I could just let it go and go to sleep!

We're supposed to go to one of the girls' birthday party on Sunday and I'm dreading it. I really don't want to go and I feel like we wouldn't be missed/it would be a relief if we skipped it by the mom, but I don't want to disappoint the birthday girl by her buddy Alyssa not showing up. And it would probably make things worse in the long run if we played hooky. So I guess I'll just grin and bear it.

That's what Godfathers are for!

After dance tonight Alyssa and I went to visit the newly expanded Dwight family ... congrats to Angie, Eric, and Lenka on the arrival of Janika Lee yesterday morning!!! She's a cutie!!! Anyway, Alyssa mentioned that she wanted something to eat, so I suggested that Eric could take her to find some graham crackers since he had been talking about the awesome "free" graham crackers the hospital provided earlier in our visit. So off Alyssa and Eric went to check out the grub. And back Alyssa came with her hand behind her back and a suspicious grin on her face. She walked over to me and whipped out from behind her back ... chocolate ice cream. Eric now ranks up there as pretty high on "the coolest" list in Alyssa's book.

Oh, Joel.

I love that kid.

Sunday afternoon Adam, Amy, and I were sitting out back watching Alyssa, Sophie, and Joel play. Joel toddled up to my chair and pulled my glass of water out of the cup holder. I could just see the "Whatever is in this cup is going to be dumped in 3 seconds" gleam in his eye ... he gets it all the time. Quick as a wink, he dumped the cup over his head. The cup of ice water. Looking at the adults in pure SHOCK he immediately began sobbing because of the bullying that he had endured. Surely someone had wronged him horribly. His face was PRICELESS and Amy, Adam, and I couldn't help but laugh ~ but I did hold him to try to comfort him as I cracked up.

Last night Adam, Joel, Alyssa, and I were goofing off in Alyssa's room while she was getting ready for bed. Joel picked up Alyssa's (unused) diaper and promptly said something that resembled the word "diaper". I looked at him and said "are you sure it isn't a hat?" and without missing a beat he immediately plopped it onto the top of his head. I love those moments where he really seems to understand what I'm saying to him ... affirmation that there is a real little person in there and not just a baby "blob" anymore.

Joel climbs and Alyssa's worries

Yesterday Joel realized that he could push the booster seats in the kitchen over to a kitchen chair and use them to climb up on the kitchen chair. And then he realized that he could climb onto the kitchen table from there. As he stood proudly in the middle of the table admiring his accomplishment, Alyssa looked at him and said "Oh Joel, you worry me. You stress me out." I think she's heard her mommy say that to him about 15 million times a day. He's all boy. And I love it.

But hearing those words come out of his mouth made me think of my Grandma Dora who always worried about EVERYTHING. And how my mom tries desperately hard not to worry as much as my grandma did. And how I know I worry as much as my grandma did and my mom tries not to. I guess Alyssa is just doomed to be a worrywart, too. At least she's in good company.

Oh Happy DAY!!!!

Out of the butts of babes

This morning I took Alyssa into the bathroom at the pediatrician's office as we were waiting to get Joel checked out for his 15 month appointment. She sat on the toilet saying, "Open, shut! Open, shut!" over and over. The hilarious thing was that she was "shutting" her butt by clenching her butt cheeks and then when she "opened" (or relaxed her cheeks) she would toot. It happened 4 or 5 times ... I was rolling. Her daddy would have been so proud.

My latest addiction

Products from Uppercase Living ~ I LOVE this stuff!!!

My Night with Mommy (by Joel)

Daddy and Alyssa went to soccer practice tonight, so I got Mommy all to myself. As a treat she gave me a fruit roll-up. I LOVED it! And my dessert led to our next activity. BATHTIME! Its not very often that I get the bathtub all to myself, so Mommy pulled out the camera and documented the fun that I had.

Afterwards Mommy decided that I needed a HAIRCUT! It wasn't too traumatizing because I got to chew on my toothbrush and look at myself in the mirror while she cut my hair. Afterwards we played my new favorite game that I learned from my big sister Alyssa ~ it involved hiding in the closet and opening/shutting the doors. The louder you slam them the better!!! And you can see a little bit of my cool dude new haircut. Mommy was trying to get better pictures, but I wouldn't hold still long enough. I've got places to go, man!

After all the bath fun and running around I wanted to cuddle with Mommy and she was a very willing participant to cuddle time. I even fell asleep with her holding me, which was pretty awesome for both of us.

Until next time ... Joel

(More) Photography By Alyssa

As much as I hate Alyssa playing around with my camera, I have to admit it makes my day when I download my pictures and find little "presents" like these ... enjoy! :)

Where's the damn owner's manual?!

The one that came with Alyssa, that is. The girl is testing her limits BIG TIME lately and I don't know how much longer I can take it. I've tried being patient and firm and reminding myself that this is just a phase, but all I really want to do is run away. I feel like she's turning into an 18 month old again who is getting into everything and has to be watched 24/7 ... except now she *knows* that she's not supposed to do things. As evidenced by the "I'm sorry, mommy" that she says as soon as she sees me.

Breathe in ... 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 ... and out ... *repeat*

Finally, the boy is paid off

It only took 4 months, but I think I've finally finishing paying all the bills from when Joel got his tubes. I swear it seems like the bills never stopped coming! And I told Adam that I was probably paying the same thing over and over again and *they* are just giggling over it and planning what to do with the Joel wing of Children's hospital. ;) This morning I confirmed that our balance with Children's is $0 and as of Monday afternoon we have a $0 with Dr. D. So unless a bill pops up from our pediatrician, we should be in the clear.

Now to pay off Joey's bills ... this parenting (whether human or animal!) is expensive stuff!

Movie weekend

We rarely watch new movies around here, usually its the same Disney and/or Dora movie for the 5 BILLIONTH time, but yesterday I stopped at Blockbuster to rent a couple movies with a gift card that Adam got for Christmas.

I rented "Juno" for Adam and I and "Enchanted" for Alyssa (okay, that one was for me, too, but I can get away with saying that I got it for her ~ ha!). Adam and I actually sat DOWNSTAIRS on the COUCH TOGETHER and watched A MOVIE all the way through without a kid interruption or one of us (me) falling asleep. The last time we did that we watched a movie that was so bad we wanted to shoot ourselves for giving up 70 minutes of our life ... I can't remember what it was; I think I've blocked it from my memory. Anyway, I highly recommend "Juno". I think its the first time ever that a film has gotten so much award "buzz" and recognition and I've actually liked it; usually I hate the film critics choices and love the ones that get horrible reviews. Although they did seriously screw up the pregnancy test scene, which bothered me as a person who has peed on several "sticks" in my day.

And "Enchanted" was a wonderful, wonderful movie. I think "Alyssa" definitely needs to add it to her DVD collection. ;) Another one that I would highly recommend for the entire family (because even Adam admitted that it wasn't too bad of a movie).

Boo yah!!!!!

After multiple weeks of stress and countless hours of "fiddling" on mostly my part, but some of Adam's part, too, I finally, finally, finally have an acceptable template for Uniquely Yours' thank yous. The design we had in mind seemed so simple, but was just barely out of reach no matter what program I used, no matter how I set up the paper, no matter how I trimmed. But finally, this morning, I figured that SUCKER out. I just want to scream from the rooftop because I'm so relieved that its behind me. Except its cold and rainy out and I'm totally terrified of falling off a roof.

So I'm virtually screaming via blog ... "HOOOO-FREAKIN'-RAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Backyard Crime Scene

Our back patio seems to have been the scene of a horrible homicide. Evidently Alyssa was smooshed into a large marshmallow-type shape (see the blue blob outline). Maybe a piano was pushed out of the bedroom window. Taye evidently was the victim of a hit and run from a Kawasaki big wheel. It must have hit her at a incredible speed because check out the way her body was practically bent in half (the white outline). Although is it really a hit and run if the bike is still at the scene? ;)

Attention parents ...

If you are one of those parents who have to use a crow bar to get your child in and/or out of a high chair at a restaurant because their legs pretty much touch the ground when they are sitting in it and you see a mom sitting by herself with a 3 year old (probably younger than your child and is sitting in a regular chair) and a 14 month old who she has to hold on her lap because there are no more high chairs left because morons like you feel the need to use them and she is almost in tears because she is sitting at a table for two that is the size of a serving tray and she's trying to juggle the 14 month old and eat and help the 3 year old at the same time FOR GOD SAKES OFFER HER YOUR HIGH CHAIR! Especially when you are sitting in a booth with your one 8 year old child in a high chair and with another adult.

Another one of those times that I wish I had the nerve to call people out. Kind of like the woman who rolled her eyes at me in the parking lot at Michael's when she realized that she would have to wait for me to get Alyssa out of her carseat before she could get into her car.

Alyssa and the Joey story

Adam and I were really unsure of what to tell Alyssa about what was going to happen to Joey when we finally made the decision that we were going to have to have her put to sleep. We finally came to the decision that we were just going to kind of avoid the situation all together (way to wuss out, huh?). We hoped that by not talking about it, Alyssa would be young enough that she would quickly forget and move on. Not so. The morning that I took Joey back to the vet after having her home for one last night, Alyssa wanted to go with me. I explained that just Mommy and Joey were going this time. So she asked if she could go with me the next day to visit Joey. Evidently she had gotten accustomed to our daily visits to the vet while Joey was staying there. So I gave her the story I had been practicing in my head. I told her that Joey was still very, very sick and that I was taking her back to the vet so that they could give her some special medicine that would make her go to sleep so that she wouldn't feel so yucky and sick anymore. But I also explained that after she got this special medicine she would stay at the vet and we wouldn't see her again. She seemed to accept the explanation and blew lots and lots of kisses to Joey as we were leaving.

The next couple weeks she would tell people from time to time that Joey was at the vet because she was really, really sick. I remember specifically getting a "raised eyebrow" from my inlaws when she relayed the information to them. As much as I hate to say this, I figured Alyssa was young enough that she would quickly forget our sweet Joey, so I just tried to smooth it over as quickly and quietly as possible.

Fast forward 6 weeks. More than enough time, in my mind, for her to forget. She and one of the daycare kids started talking about Joey this morning. Alyssa piped up and said that she was really, really sick and at the vet. Then she asked me when we could go visit her or when she was coming home. I gently reminded her of the "story" and then came the heartbreaking response, with big sad eyes and an expression like she was going to burst into sobs, "But, Mommy, I really, really miss her". Me too, sweetie. Me, too.

I feel like I haven't given her closure. That I've left loose ends and I don't know what to do about them. Alyssa doesn't know/understand heaven yet, so I can't use the puppy heaven story. We say prayers and she talks about God, but she doesn't understand all that He entails. I keep trying to make sure that she understands that Joey was extremely sick and that she had to go away to feel better and that because we loved her so much, we let her go, even though it meant that we wouldn't have her at home with us anymore. Maybe its too much for a 3 year old to understand. But I still don't feel like I handled it the right way.

Rainy Day Part 2

So, after Joel decided that he had had enough of the girly stuff and went off to his crib to burp and toot and all that boy-ish stuff, Alyssa and I sat down to make some "masterpieces". I sprinkled a little clear/sparkly glitter on mine, so she decided that her's needed some gold "accent". Funny how accent and accident are very similar words, huh? Anyway, I love her piece ... I think its my new favorite piece of art ~ and I'm lucky enough to have the original hanging in my kitchen!!! I may be biased, but I think she's pretty talented.

Rainy Day ...

No girlfriends to play dress up with? NO PROBLEM ... that's what little brothers are for!

Blast from the past

In anticipation of the New Kids on the Block reunion I've been spending time on youtube reliving the good old days of New Kids videos. Makes me feel like a giddy little 10 year old again. Those moves! Those clothes (especially the billowy long-sleeved shirt unbuttoned over the t-shirt ~ how HOT was that?!)! The big hair! Bliss.

Christy or Angie ~ want to hit a concert if they come to the QC? ;)

Now that I think about it, Adam had pretty big hair around that time, too ... maybe it wasn't his hot car that got me.

Alyssa-ism

Conversation at lunch today after Alyssa chucked her fork across the kitchen.

Mommy: Alyssa! You know better than that! You know you don't throw silverware.
Alyssa: No, I don't.
Mommy: Well, you do now. No throwing silverware; you could hurt someone.
Alyssa: Oh. *in a "damn, now I have to come up with a NEW excuse so that I can throw my fork and not get into trouble"*

I need a drink.

Fiji water's next spokesperson

My adorable children

Wednesday night Adam and Alyssa had soccer practice, so I got to hang out with my favorite little guy all by myself. That doesn't happen very often. I am just blown away when watching him lately. Its like he's gone from this blob to this little "thing" with a brain and I just love, love, love watching him figure things out. We were playing in the toy room and he picked up this yellow football that he has that splits into two pieces (a baseball fits inside, then the football fits inside a soccer ball and the soccer ball fits inside a basketball). He then looked around and found a yellow shape that goes to our shape sorter. He looked at both pieces for a minute or so and then slowly tried to put them together ... I just loved the look on his face. He knew that they were both the same color, but also knew there wasn't something quite right about them being together. The boy is just a genius, I think.

The other afternoon Alyssa was trying to get me to lay down with her before she took her nap and she was throwing a fit because I wouldn't be swayed. I reminded her several times that I only lay down at night, and only when she has been good and hasn't argued/procrastinated/fussed about going to bed. Then she looked at me with tears in her eyes and said "But mommy, I just love you too much!". How do you respond to that? I mean, other than telling her to move over. ;)

And speaking of Alyssa and sleeping ... the sleep fairy has visited 3 times this week. I really think its the addition of the sound machine that is helping her the most, but whatever it is I'm so relieved. Now if I could only get my bladder to sleep through the night, life would be grand.

Struggling with my bio

A few days ago I received a link via e-mail to a website that had been set up for my upcoming 10 year high school reunion. Although I have no desire whatsoever to GO to my reunion, I was excited about the feature on the website that let people update everyone on what was going on in their life. I've become slightly addicted to it; logging in freuqently with hopes that all of the sudden there will be a list of all my former classmates so that I can find out what they are doing with their lives. So far there is *maybe* 10. Out of about 135.

And then comes the struggling with what to write about me. For some reason my life doesn't seem good enough. So I try to figure out if I can "spin" it a certain way to make things sound better. But why should it have to be better. I have a really great life. There really isn't anything else that I would ask for. Sure, I could ask for more money, a cleaning lady, a nanny, etc, but overall I think I'm a pretty lucky girl.

This whole thing has me puzzled. If I don't care to go to my reunion because there isn't anyone that I really care about from my class that I don't see on a fairly regular basis, then why do I care what they think of me? Why do I feel like being a stay at home mom isn't good enough? It makes me feel like other people are going to think of me a living in a white trash trailer park (no offense to Angie and Eric! ;) ), with my dirty kids running a muck, and my beer-bellied, chain smoking, grease-under-the-fingernails husband yelling "woman, git me a beer!" at me. But when I think of stay at home moms, especially the ones that I personally know, that's not the case at all.

I'm so messed up.

BFF

Big. Fat. Failure.

That's what the sleep fairy was last night. For a past few weeks Alyssa has been getting up at least once in the middle of the night. She doesn't seem to want or need anything, she'll just show up next to my side of bed and want me to walk her back to her room. Sometimes she'll let me tuck her in; sometimes she'll "make" me wait until she's tucked herself back in. Sometimes she'll ask for music, sometimes she'll ask for kisses, sometimes she'll asleep by the time we get back to her room.

So after a friend of mine had success with the "sleep fairy", I decided to give it a try. I bought a cute little trinket box and told Alyssa that I had run into the sleep fairy and that she knew that she hadn't been staying in her bed at night. The sleep fairy gave me a special box to give to Alyssa to put somewhere in her room and then told me to tell her that if she stayed in her bed all night long, she would leave Alyssa a special little present. I stocked up on cute little things from the dollar store and I was ready to go. I think she was up 4 times last night. *sigh* In her defense, one of the times was about 1 AM to tell me that Adam had forgotten to put a diaper on her when she went to bed and one of the times it was thundering, so I did let her crawl in bed with us.

Tonight I'm going to try putting a radio in her room and see if the "white noise" helps. Any other suggestions? Besides medication and locking her in her room?

It sucks so much that it took me a year to get Joel to sleep through the night and now he sleeps like an absolute CHAMP and his sister is a big pain in my rump!

Can any of the locals enlighten me?

If people decide to kick Fahey out of office, then does the ball park controversy "disappear"? This question kept me up last night for some reason. Maybe because I saw some people out "picketing" yesterday afternoon. I kind of wish I had paid closer attention so that I understood what all the hubbub is about.

Its official!

I'm officially a soccer mom! Alyssa played her first soccer game today. And Adam "assistant to the coach"ed his first soccer game today. It was an absolute riot. Unfortunately it was cold and windy today, so hopefully once it warms up it'll be a lot more fun for them to play ... and for us to watch!

To My Sister

What I would really love to say, but don't have the guts.

"You're lazy and selfish and you need to pull your head out of your ass and realize that their are other people in the world. Yes, you have a difficult life, but a large, large majority of it is your own fault. Deal with it. There are people a lot worse off than you through no fault of their own that would give anything to be in your shoes and have the opportunities you have dropped at your feet, but are too lazy to pick them up."

Note this is my OLDER sister. My sister who in 2 years will turn 40. It makes me sad.

Quiet

Alyssa has her first soccer "practice" tonight. (Five 3 year-old girls ... I'm betting it goes something along the lines of "this is a soccer ball. Try to kick it.") Adam took her so that he could help Amy coach. Should be an interesting experience for all involved. ;) Joel and I had some good play and cuddle time while they were gone, but he ready to crash by 7. Frankly, I was ready to crash, too. So I put him to bed and for the last 30 minutes I've been sitting here enjoying the silence. I never used to enjoy silence. I was one of those people that always had to have the TV on or radio on for background noise. Ah, how children change your life.

And with that thought ... the garage door just burst open. Back to the craziness!

Perplexing

Today while making lunch I found myself thinking, "Wow, I had forgotten how much I really love being a stay at home mom". The kicker is that I can to this realization after spending the morning running all around town. Strange, eh?

For those of you that don't know, I have daycare kids Monday, Wednesday, and Thursdays, but still have Tuesdays and Fridays just for me and the kids. Most of my "mom" days just end up feeling like days that I need to cram as much in as possible. For some reason today was a "good" SAHM day and I was reminded of how much I miss those days. But again, the dumb thing is, we didn't stay at home. We all got up, had breakfast, got dressed and then made our first stop at the Y where the kids played (or sobbed in Joel's case) and I got a good workout in. We then picked up some groceries and stop by the park for a few minutes on our way home before heading home for lunch. Followed by that glorious thing known as naptime ... or shower and clean up the house time for mommy.

Anyway, today made me look forward to my "extra" kids growing up and going to school because in the back of my mind I keep thinking that I'll only do daycare for the families that I have currently and I'm fairly sure no one is planning on any babies coming along. But then I realize that when my last "extra" kid is in school, that means my baby will be in school, too, and then I probably won't know what to do with myself. Vicious cycle.

Alyssa Heard a Who!

I took Alyssa to see her first movie in the movie theater this morning. I was really impressed with how well she did; she started getting a little antsy about an hour, so I was worried if we were going to make it, but she pulled through. I thought the movie was really adorable and would HIGHLY recommend it. Alyssa clapped at the end, which I thought was really cute and she kept asking "where did the silly elephant go?" when Horton wasn't in a scene, so Horton was a big hit ... although she did ask where "Mayor" went a couple times, too.

Farewell, sweet Joey

Jocelyn "Joey" Pooh Bear
November 27, 2002 - March 8, 2008

Someday I may go into all the details of this past week/weekend, but for now, I'll just say this:

Goodbye, my sweet, wonderful, ornery, fuzz bucket. Thank you for being my first baby.

Daylight Savings

I know that I'm probably in the minority, but I LOVE "springing" forward. People grumble all the time about losing an hour of sleep, but if I get to get up to the clock saying 7:15 instead of 6:15, I call that a GREAT night no matter how many hours of sleep I *technically* got.

I love that Sophie came over to play with Alyssa and when Amy came to get her at 7 it was still light out. I hated going back and forth between our houses feeling like it was the middle of the night when it was actually only 6:30.

I love that I finished cleaning up supper and picking up the house and the sun was just setting ... makes me feel like I'm ahead of myself and can take the rest of the evening to just relax.

Now when Alyssa is up at 6:15 tomorrow morning and it feels like 5:15 to my poor body, I may not feel the same way, but for today, I say "spring" away!!!

Are you freaking KIDDING ME?!

To look outside it is the picture perfect day. Bright blue sky, sunny, no wind ... the kind of day that just SCREAMS spring. So I think that I'll be able to sneak the kids out with just a light jacket since they have sweatshirts on already and they won't be outside the car *that* long. And because I'm boycotting coats because I'm so tired of layers and bulk and that crap. Then I go to my handy dandy computer to look up the outside temp. Thinking it *has* to be at least in the upper 30s. Nope. 17. Feels like 5. Fudge.

Although I don't really say fudge.

I hate this winter.

Its not easy being "green"

Adam frequently talks about how he wishes that he could be more "green" in his day to day activities. I was inspired by him while grocery shopping a few weeks ago, so I bought some of the lovely canvas bags that our grocery store offers as a more environmentally friendly option instead of paper or plastic bags. Plus I get really annoyed when they will put a loaf of bread in a plastic bag and call it full so that I end up having as many plastic bags as grocery items when I get home. Anyway, yesterday I made a point of grabbing my bags before leaving the house to go visit Joey at the vet and then swing by the grocery store to pick up a few things. Per usual, as the checker starting ringing up my groceries she immediately asked me if I wanted "paper or plastic"? I proudly pulled out my canvas bags and she gave me a "good for you!" smile as she said "never mind!". I told her that plastic was fine after she filled up my two bags, but we both acknowledged that I probably didn't have much more than what would fill the two bags. So she instructed the bagger (who was about 12, I'm guessing) to use plastic after filling the bags I brought ... the poor girl was so confused ... she put my grapes in a plastic bag, then the bananas in a plastic bag, etc and then put all THOSE plastic bags inside my bag I brought into the store. The best laid plans ...

I jumped on my mobile phone because I'm sexy and I do what I want

Pick the month you were born:

January-------I kicked
February------I loved
March--------I karate chopped
April----------I licked
May----------I jumped on
June----------I smelled
July-----------I did the Macarena With
August--------I had lunch with
September----I danced with
October-------I sang to
November-----I yelled at
December-----I ran over

Pick the day (number) you were born on:

1-- -----a birdbath
2-------a monster
3-------a phone
4-------a fork
5-------a snowman
6-------a gangster
7-------my mobile phone
8-------my dog
9-------my best friends' boyfriend
10-------my neighbor
11-------my science teacher
12------- a banana
13-------a fireman
14-------a stuffed animal
15-------a goat
16-------a pickle
17-------your mom
18-------a spoon
19------ - a smurf
20-------a baseball bat
21-------a ninja
22-------Chuck Norris
23-------a noodle
24-------a squirrel
25-------a football player
26-------my sister
27-------my brother
28-------an ipod
29-------a surfer
30-------a llama
31-------A homeless guy

Pick the color of shirt you are wearing:
White---------because I'm cool like that
Black---------because that's how I roll.
Pink-----------because I'm crazy.
Red-----------because the voices told me to.
Blue-----------because I'm sexy and I do what I want
Green---------because I think I need some serious help.
Purple---------because I'm AWESOME!
Gray----------because Big Bird said to and he's my leader.
Yellow--------because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars
Orange--------because my family thinks I'm stupid anyway.
Brown---------because I can.
Other----------because I'm a Ninja!
None----------because I can't control myself!

Thought this was kind of fun ... what did you get?

Back home again

As I spent last weekend checking things off the "Christi does Raleigh" list that Paula and I had made over the years, I started writing a really clever blog entry listing all the "firsts" that I did on my trip. But once I got home and started writing them down, I realized how lame most of them were ... so I'll give you the top 3 firsts (besides meeting Paula's family and seeing her house and meeting Renee and kids and all that junk. ;) )

Last weekend marked the:
First time I've ever flown alone; I think even the first time I've ever traveled alone.
First time I've been to an Ikea. Now I know what all the hub bub is about.
First time I've eaten at chick-fil-a. I definitely have to check out the one that is supposedly tucked away in some secret location downtown here.

Of course the super-duper mega first was that I left Joel overnight. :)

I had a wonderful, perfect trip. Okay, I had some airline drama yesterday getting home, so that wasn't wonderful or perfect, but I did get a little bonus time with Paula and kids, which totally made up for it. Although then my super wonderful brother-in-law had to pick me up at the airport at 11:30 at night and drive me home on sheets of ice and then be back at the hospital for work at 8 AM. But my bonus time with Paula and the kids consisted of playing at the park and walking around the lake in 60 degree weather with the sun shining down on us, so ... yeah, it made up for it. Maybe not for Chris, but it did for me.

I am madly in love with Paula's family and house and I am quickly developing a major crush on North Carolina. I now understand what Adam means when he says he dreams to live somewhere with trees. And it makes me want to rethink our staying the Midwest and not moving East. Its nice to dream.

Overall the trip was the perfect "cure" for my funk. I feel like I'm in such a better place now. Although I could stand to be here with a bit less of the freaking coldness!!!! But spring is on its way ... right?

If the boy fits ...

pack him, right?! Oh, I'm going to miss my kiddos and my handsome hubby. But probably not the dogs. ;)

Handing over my mommy gloves

In less than 24 hours I'll be handing over my "mommy gloves" to Adam while I go visit the Andrews family for the weekend. I have complete confidence that Adam can handle the kids ... whether the kids can handle Adam may be another story. ;) Please send good thoughts that we ALL have a good weekend so that I come home to as many children as I had when I left and so that someday I might be allowed off of "house arrest" again!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Here's a picture of the super cute craft that we did for daycare this morning ... in case you can't read it, it says "Thumb-body loves you ... and that thumb-body is ME!". And the white "smudges" are thumb prints (you try getting good thumb prints out of a one year old! Or three year olds for that matter). But anyway, I think they turned out pretty cute.

And here's a picture of my gift from my fantastic, wonderful, creative, and clever husband ...

its a "plain" ticket aka plane ticket to go to North Carolina!

Leaving on a jet plane ...

I can't wait!!!

A Million Bucks

That's how I feel tonight. Like a million bucks. What a great change from the two bucks I normally feel like!

This morning Angie and I went to SupperThyme USA for the first time. We both absolutely loved it. I was surprised at how simple their recipes were. From all the rave reviews I had heard I expected secret recipes and top secret ingredients, but everything was pretty simple. I loved having all the stuff right in front of us; all the bowls and utensils right there, and best of all ... after we made a mess making the stuff ... we just walk away and someone cleans up after us. Its like being a toddler! :P It was so relaxing to not have to run around the kitchen looking for this or that and pulling things out of the fridge and out of the pantry and out of the spice cupboard and then spend hours loading the dishwasher or washing dishes. Tonight we made Chicken Cordon Bleu for dinner and I was really impressed with it. After loading up our meals, Angie and I went to Subway for lunch. It was fantastic getting to spend some one on one time with her because it had been far too long.

Once I got home I was feeling so upbeat and accomplished that I decided to venture into the basement. *insert foreboding music* For several months I had just been tossing stuff down the stairs, the Christmas decorations were still just shoved into piles, party supplies were strewn from one side to the other as I prepped for Joel's birthday, and kids clothes/toys were overtaking at least 1/2. It was a jungle in there. I made SO much progress. You can actually see the floor, things are organized and put away and I even started a good sized garage sale pile for the sale in June. Plus you can actually WALK around down there! Or at least in the area that isn't covered with Adam's tools/gadgets/electronics stuff, etc ... I'll leave that for him. Or for the garbage men. ;)

Now the kids are in bed, Adam is at Eric's for movie night with the guys, so I think I'll go find myself a yummy snack and head to bed to watch some silly, lovey dovey, chick flick.