**disclaimer, I wrote this Friday night and saved it, unpublished. Wasn't sure if I was ready to share it with the blogging world.
Dear Anna,
My wall almost broke today. The wall that I've had up since Monday, February 6th @ 11:31am when I stood next to our gate in the Orlando airport listening to the message that your dad left on my cell phone to call him. As I was listening, my call waiting beeped and I looked down to see that Brandy was calling me. I instantly knew, in that moment, that this was one of THOSE moments. One of those moments that would change my life forever. Never did I dream that the next few words I would hear that you were gone. That might have been the very last thing I ever would have expected to hear. I've kept that wall up so far. Because I don't think I have the strength to cope with the reality if that wall comes down.
While my kids have rest time, Tracy plays music. Its always just a random jumble of Disney songs, lullabies, etc. Today "You Are My Sunshine" came on. Until I was probably 17 or 18, I would immediately think of your Grandpa and my Grandma Nelsen. I remember my dad and grandma singing it to me when I was little. They probably sang it to your mom, too, because I know she sang it to you almost every night of your life. Even when you were in junior high and on a sleepover, you called home to have your mom sing to you. Whether you really "needed" to have her sing it to you so that you could go to sleep or if you were just being a typical pre-teen messing around with your mom, putting her on speakerphone so that your friends could hear, I'll never know. But I know your mom wouldn't care, you were her Sunshine and she would sing to you any time, any where. Because she loved you.
When I heard the familiar words, I reflexively started singing along in my mind. But then, when I realized what I was singing, what the song was, what it reminded me of, I had to stop. To put up my guard. To distract myself. To not think. To avoid thinking the words that would make me believe. I don't want to believe. I can't believe. Not yet. Part of me thinks that maybe I won't ever believe. I'll convince myself that you're too busy to talk, too busy to visit, that you don't care, that you don't need me. The way I've felt for the last few years. Its easier that way. Because there's still the potential of getting MY Anna Beth back. The small chance that you'll come to your senses and realize that you need me. That you want me to be part of your life. That I'll get back the Anna Beth that adored her Aunt Christi, the Anna Beth that Aunt Christi adored back. I lost that little girl a long time ago. But there was still hope. Hope that someday, she would come back around. Someday we would find our way back to each other. I NEED that hope. I'm not ready to give that hope up.
Regardless of the state of my wall, regardless of how you felt about me over the years, regardless of what I did or said, I loved you. And I love you still.
Always,
Aunt Christi
Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts
Friday, February 24, 2012
Sunday, January 01, 2012
2012 - the year of the blog.
I thought about titling this post "2012 - the year of the blog?" with a question mark, but decided on a period instead. This WILL be the year of the blog. The year that I get back to my mama musings, I've missed it! And hopefully there's still a couple people out to be my loyal readers and leave glowing comments! :)
So, starting off, 12 things that I'm looking forward to in 2012 (instead of making resolutions this year, seems a little more "in stone"). In no particular order:
1. Our second family vacation to Disney World for Joel's 5th birthday celebration! We leave a month from tomorrow!!!
2. Celebrating 10 years of marriage with Adam. Granted, we just celebrated 9 years 4 days ago, so we've got a ways to go, but I look forward to having a good, solid 10 years under our belt.
3. Seeing Alyssa's dance recital in June. She started at a new studio this year doing jazz instead of the usually tap and ballet and absolutely loves it. This studio feels more "professional" (without being TLC-reality show scary), so I'm looking forward to seeing her in a REAL recital since all her previous ones have felt like she's just jumping around/stomping her tap shoes.
4. Joel starting Kindergarten. EXTREMELY bittersweet, but I am amazed at the person he has blossomed into just being a part of the Saddlebrook's pre-k program I can't wait to see what they do with his when he's in "real" school!
5. Figuring out what I want to be when my kids "grow up". I feel confident that my time as a daycare provider is coming to and end along with having my own kids at home full time. I have a wide spectrum of possibilities in front of me and I'm looking forward to seeing what path I will be lead down. Right now I think taking up part time residence in Archivers and catching up on all my scrapbooking is in the lead. ;)
6. Keeping up with my blog! I've been reading a lot/hearing a lot about thankfulness or gratitude journals and I love the idea of them. This past Thanksgiving my mother-in-law had us all write down what we were thankful for on a piece of paper then we "locked" it in a box and she plans to have us read it next Thanksgiving. It was really thought provoking to write down all the wonderful blessings I have in my life.
7. Becoming a stronger presence in the kids' elementary school. I've pretty much decided to take over the room parent coordination job next year, which will allow me to interact with more staff and more parents. I'm excited to get even deeper into the Saddlebrook community.
8. Rediscovering my inner bookworm. Adam got me a Kindle for Christmas and I am LOVING it so far! Its strange, but I find when I'm reading books on my Kindle that its much easier for me to put it down, whereas when I'm reading an actual book I tend to get sucked in and stay up too late or ignore what I should be doing in order to hurry up and see how the book ends! Of course, I've only had the Kindle for a week, so this may change.
9. Establishing regular "family time". My goal is to start with one night per month, always the same night. I feel like the kids are getting to the point where we can more easily enjoy a family night together whether it be pizza and a movie or playing board games. Its important to me that Alyssa and Joel grow up with that sense of connection and I think they're reaching a good age to start solidifying it.
10. Becoming a more regular attendee of Stone Bridge Christian Church and getting involved through volunteering with the children's programs. I finally feel like I've found a "church home" after searching for almost 15 years, I'm looking forward to getting more established and settled and making it my "own".
11. Becoming healthier. This isn't your standard "I'm going to lose _____ lbs this year" or "I will weigh _____ pounds by the end of the year" or "I will wear a size _____" statement. Yes, I would like to lose weight, but I don't know if that will/can happen. I do know that I can be better able eating healthier (and providing healthier meals/choices for my family) and that I can be more consistent with taking my supplements, vitamins, etc. And I am going to encourage our family to get out and be more active together.
12. After losing Adam's cousin, Jana, this past summer and struggling with watching my dad's health deteriorate, I've learned to really appreciate the time that I have with the people I love. Not to say that I don't feel sad and depressed when I think about what "could have been", but I try to remind myself of what I've had that other people don't get the chance to have. And I try to be more aware of how quickly my babies won't want to cuddle with me or won't want me to read book or kiss them goodnight. I try to appreciate the small things each day. And I look forward to the small moments of love, laughter, inspiration and happiness that 2012 holds for me.
And to end this first blog post of 2012: Alyssa's New Year's Resolution: To do a cartwheel.
Note to self: Look into gymnastics camp to help Alyssa achieve her resolution. :)
So, starting off, 12 things that I'm looking forward to in 2012 (instead of making resolutions this year, seems a little more "in stone"). In no particular order:
1. Our second family vacation to Disney World for Joel's 5th birthday celebration! We leave a month from tomorrow!!!
2. Celebrating 10 years of marriage with Adam. Granted, we just celebrated 9 years 4 days ago, so we've got a ways to go, but I look forward to having a good, solid 10 years under our belt.
3. Seeing Alyssa's dance recital in June. She started at a new studio this year doing jazz instead of the usually tap and ballet and absolutely loves it. This studio feels more "professional" (without being TLC-reality show scary), so I'm looking forward to seeing her in a REAL recital since all her previous ones have felt like she's just jumping around/stomping her tap shoes.
4. Joel starting Kindergarten. EXTREMELY bittersweet, but I am amazed at the person he has blossomed into just being a part of the Saddlebrook's pre-k program I can't wait to see what they do with his when he's in "real" school!
5. Figuring out what I want to be when my kids "grow up". I feel confident that my time as a daycare provider is coming to and end along with having my own kids at home full time. I have a wide spectrum of possibilities in front of me and I'm looking forward to seeing what path I will be lead down. Right now I think taking up part time residence in Archivers and catching up on all my scrapbooking is in the lead. ;)
6. Keeping up with my blog! I've been reading a lot/hearing a lot about thankfulness or gratitude journals and I love the idea of them. This past Thanksgiving my mother-in-law had us all write down what we were thankful for on a piece of paper then we "locked" it in a box and she plans to have us read it next Thanksgiving. It was really thought provoking to write down all the wonderful blessings I have in my life.
7. Becoming a stronger presence in the kids' elementary school. I've pretty much decided to take over the room parent coordination job next year, which will allow me to interact with more staff and more parents. I'm excited to get even deeper into the Saddlebrook community.
8. Rediscovering my inner bookworm. Adam got me a Kindle for Christmas and I am LOVING it so far! Its strange, but I find when I'm reading books on my Kindle that its much easier for me to put it down, whereas when I'm reading an actual book I tend to get sucked in and stay up too late or ignore what I should be doing in order to hurry up and see how the book ends! Of course, I've only had the Kindle for a week, so this may change.
9. Establishing regular "family time". My goal is to start with one night per month, always the same night. I feel like the kids are getting to the point where we can more easily enjoy a family night together whether it be pizza and a movie or playing board games. Its important to me that Alyssa and Joel grow up with that sense of connection and I think they're reaching a good age to start solidifying it.
10. Becoming a more regular attendee of Stone Bridge Christian Church and getting involved through volunteering with the children's programs. I finally feel like I've found a "church home" after searching for almost 15 years, I'm looking forward to getting more established and settled and making it my "own".
11. Becoming healthier. This isn't your standard "I'm going to lose _____ lbs this year" or "I will weigh _____ pounds by the end of the year" or "I will wear a size _____" statement. Yes, I would like to lose weight, but I don't know if that will/can happen. I do know that I can be better able eating healthier (and providing healthier meals/choices for my family) and that I can be more consistent with taking my supplements, vitamins, etc. And I am going to encourage our family to get out and be more active together.
12. After losing Adam's cousin, Jana, this past summer and struggling with watching my dad's health deteriorate, I've learned to really appreciate the time that I have with the people I love. Not to say that I don't feel sad and depressed when I think about what "could have been", but I try to remind myself of what I've had that other people don't get the chance to have. And I try to be more aware of how quickly my babies won't want to cuddle with me or won't want me to read book or kiss them goodnight. I try to appreciate the small things each day. And I look forward to the small moments of love, laughter, inspiration and happiness that 2012 holds for me.
And to end this first blog post of 2012: Alyssa's New Year's Resolution: To do a cartwheel.
Note to self: Look into gymnastics camp to help Alyssa achieve her resolution. :)
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
Twas the night before preschool ...
Even though the temperatures have been WAY below normal for the last several weeks. Even though the neighborhood kids have been in school for 3 weeks or more. Even though we haven't touched our swimming suits in more than 3 weeks and I can't remember the last time I hooked up the sprinkler, the end of summer is looming on the horizon here at our house.
I'm a little torn.
I'm excited for Alyssa to start preschool again. She's been bored to tears since all her neighborhood friends went back to school 3 weeks ago. Last year was a wonderful preschool year for her and I hope that this year will be even better. We chose to keep her in the 3 day a week class instead of moving her up to the 5 day a class - one of the tougher decisions that I've made in my 5ish years of mommyhood, but I feel like it was the right one. Its my hope that she'll break out of her shell a little since she'll be one of the older kids and take on some leadership. She'll be with the teacher that she really wanted and her friend Isabella from last year will be in her class, so I really don't worry about her.
I'm excited for Joel to start his "toddler time" class (hereafter referred to as OPPG or over-priced play group). Had I known how much he would blossom over the summer I'm not sure I would have signed him up for it, but I think in the end it'll be good for him to go. And at least half of his class is made up of boys, so it'll be good for him to be around some testosterone. When he and I went shopping for stickers for his bucket last Sunday he immediately made a beeline for the big princess castle sticker covered in pink sparkles ... not that there's anything wrong with that! He was fairly easily distracted by the Lightening McQueen and Mader stickers, though.
And I think my Wednesday mornings to myself are going to be good for me. For my sanity and for my stress level, which hopefully in turn will make me an even better mommy and wife.
I'm looking forward to having the structure and schedule that preschool insists upon for 3 days of our week. But there is a little part of me that is sad to see our carefree days of summer end. The days of going to the gym if/when the mood struck were nice. Or of staying in our jammies until the middle of the afternoon or heading off the zoo or the park on a whim. Or just sitting around and doing nothing. But that's what Tuesdays and Thursdays are for, right?
Stay tuned for first day of school pictures coming soon ... and hopefully with the start of the new school year I will mark the return of regular blogging!
I'm a little torn.
I'm excited for Alyssa to start preschool again. She's been bored to tears since all her neighborhood friends went back to school 3 weeks ago. Last year was a wonderful preschool year for her and I hope that this year will be even better. We chose to keep her in the 3 day a week class instead of moving her up to the 5 day a class - one of the tougher decisions that I've made in my 5ish years of mommyhood, but I feel like it was the right one. Its my hope that she'll break out of her shell a little since she'll be one of the older kids and take on some leadership. She'll be with the teacher that she really wanted and her friend Isabella from last year will be in her class, so I really don't worry about her.
I'm excited for Joel to start his "toddler time" class (hereafter referred to as OPPG or over-priced play group). Had I known how much he would blossom over the summer I'm not sure I would have signed him up for it, but I think in the end it'll be good for him to go. And at least half of his class is made up of boys, so it'll be good for him to be around some testosterone. When he and I went shopping for stickers for his bucket last Sunday he immediately made a beeline for the big princess castle sticker covered in pink sparkles ... not that there's anything wrong with that! He was fairly easily distracted by the Lightening McQueen and Mader stickers, though.
And I think my Wednesday mornings to myself are going to be good for me. For my sanity and for my stress level, which hopefully in turn will make me an even better mommy and wife.
I'm looking forward to having the structure and schedule that preschool insists upon for 3 days of our week. But there is a little part of me that is sad to see our carefree days of summer end. The days of going to the gym if/when the mood struck were nice. Or of staying in our jammies until the middle of the afternoon or heading off the zoo or the park on a whim. Or just sitting around and doing nothing. But that's what Tuesdays and Thursdays are for, right?
Stay tuned for first day of school pictures coming soon ... and hopefully with the start of the new school year I will mark the return of regular blogging!
Thursday, May 07, 2009
29 years
Today is my 29th birthday.
Unlike some people, I welcome the end of my 20s. I have a small list of things I want to accomplish in the next year that I've been referring to as my "20s bucket list" (aka things I want to do before my 20s "kick the bucket) that I'm looking forward to. Most of all that I want to run (okay, maybe jog) a 5K. I'm leaning towards the Susan Komen Race for the Cure in October, but after sharing this with my friend Paula, she suggested that we do one together either when she comes to visit me here or when I go out there ... heck, maybe I'll do 2! I never thought that I would ever, ever, ever be the type of person who wanted to do an organized athletic event, but I really hope to do it. Along with that I hope that I will end my 20s on a healthy note. I want to have made exercise a daily part of life for me and my family and finally reach a healthy weight/BMI.
As I sit here tonight I'm slightly in awe of all the birthday wishes, calls, e-mails, messages, etc that I've received today. I am really, really blessed to have such amazing friends and family - I have a wonderful support system in my life.
I'm thankful that I'm at this point in my life with a husband who I love more today than the day I married him (even if, or maybe because, he bought me RAM* for my computer for my birthday and installed it in my computer several weeks ago without me knowing/realizing). I'm thankful that I have two perfect-for-me children. They are far from traditional perfection, but I wouldn't know what to do without them. I'm thankful that I have the friends that I have. People who I can count on for anything, any time. And I'm thankful for the woman who brought me into this world 29 years ago today who after through all we've been through, good and bad, I now consider one of my best friends. Since becoming a mom myself I think of my mom differently every year on my birthday. I realize that this day is not just about me, but its about her, too. And I'm thankful for her.
To those of you who are reading this who reached out via phone, e-mail, card, gift, cheesecake, or facebook and helped this be such a wonderful birthday ... thank you from the bottom of my heart. I expected my day to be very ordinary, but it turned out pretty darn extraordinary.
* Adam and the kids also got me an iHome docking station for my iPod, gift certificate to LL Bean for a toiletry bag that I'd been lusting after, new earphones for my iPod, and Mario Kart for the Wii ... it wasn't all RAM. And Chinese food and a GIANT chocolate cake. Adam did very well. ;)
Unlike some people, I welcome the end of my 20s. I have a small list of things I want to accomplish in the next year that I've been referring to as my "20s bucket list" (aka things I want to do before my 20s "kick the bucket) that I'm looking forward to. Most of all that I want to run (okay, maybe jog) a 5K. I'm leaning towards the Susan Komen Race for the Cure in October, but after sharing this with my friend Paula, she suggested that we do one together either when she comes to visit me here or when I go out there ... heck, maybe I'll do 2! I never thought that I would ever, ever, ever be the type of person who wanted to do an organized athletic event, but I really hope to do it. Along with that I hope that I will end my 20s on a healthy note. I want to have made exercise a daily part of life for me and my family and finally reach a healthy weight/BMI.
As I sit here tonight I'm slightly in awe of all the birthday wishes, calls, e-mails, messages, etc that I've received today. I am really, really blessed to have such amazing friends and family - I have a wonderful support system in my life.
I'm thankful that I'm at this point in my life with a husband who I love more today than the day I married him (even if, or maybe because, he bought me RAM* for my computer for my birthday and installed it in my computer several weeks ago without me knowing/realizing). I'm thankful that I have two perfect-for-me children. They are far from traditional perfection, but I wouldn't know what to do without them. I'm thankful that I have the friends that I have. People who I can count on for anything, any time. And I'm thankful for the woman who brought me into this world 29 years ago today who after through all we've been through, good and bad, I now consider one of my best friends. Since becoming a mom myself I think of my mom differently every year on my birthday. I realize that this day is not just about me, but its about her, too. And I'm thankful for her.
To those of you who are reading this who reached out via phone, e-mail, card, gift, cheesecake, or facebook and helped this be such a wonderful birthday ... thank you from the bottom of my heart. I expected my day to be very ordinary, but it turned out pretty darn extraordinary.
* Adam and the kids also got me an iHome docking station for my iPod, gift certificate to LL Bean for a toiletry bag that I'd been lusting after, new earphones for my iPod, and Mario Kart for the Wii ... it wasn't all RAM. And Chinese food and a GIANT chocolate cake. Adam did very well. ;)
Thursday, March 26, 2009
New school
Since we moved into our "new" house almost 3 years ago I've been very excited about the fact that they are building a brand new elementary school just a couple blocks away. We've had fun watching the buildings being built (its going to be an entire "campus" with a public library and community center along with the school) and watching all the progress. Almost every time we drive past Alyssa points out her "pink school". (The insulation they used was pink, so before they put up the outside walls, it looked like it was going to be a pink school ... I think she may be disappointed when she realizes that its going to be brick) This morning I was reading a thread on my October mom's board where one of the moms commented that it was much hard than expected when they took their oldest to school. To the school where they had walked by hundreds of times and she had told her son that that was where he was going to go to school someday. And then suddenly someday was there and off he went.
That got me to thinking about being at our house without Alyssa (or heaven-forbid without Joel ... I got through the first day of preschool because I still had Joel to clutch on to, I don't even want to *think* about leaving him at school) and being able to look out the windows and see the big-bad-monster school that has snatched my babies away from me. I wonder how difficult it would be to transfer them somewhere else ...
Must not think of this ... still a year and a half away ...
That got me to thinking about being at our house without Alyssa (or heaven-forbid without Joel ... I got through the first day of preschool because I still had Joel to clutch on to, I don't even want to *think* about leaving him at school) and being able to look out the windows and see the big-bad-monster school that has snatched my babies away from me. I wonder how difficult it would be to transfer them somewhere else ...
Must not think of this ... still a year and a half away ...
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
Actually, I just wanted an excuse to show off the beautiful daffodils that my handsome hubby bought me, but they are flanked by my some of my St Patrick's day decor, so I'm making it work. :) And offering a sneak preview of the new paint color in the entry way for anyone who cares!
Thursday, March 05, 2009
The crocuses are coming! The crocuses are coming!!!
With promises of a high of 64 today, I looked out the front door and longingly imagined our front yard filled with its rainbow of tulips, daffodils and other random flowers that I can't remember the names for. But I didn't expect to see the best "news" I've gotten in a long time ... my crocuses are coming up!!! The first little harbinger of spring, I've been anxiously awaiting my little orange beauties to pop their head out of the ground and they're coming! They are just tiny little shoots of green so far, but maybe this there is hope for this LOOONNNGG winter to come to an end before we all go crazy.
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
Dear World:
Would it be easier to keep my house clean if it were smaller because it would take less time to clean? Or would it be even worse then because we have so much stuff that we wouldn't have room for everything and there would just constantly be "stuff" without a place that would be messing the house up?
Signed,
Wondering on 150th St.
PS - I got the kids' rooms cleaned (picked up, vacuumed, dusted, windows washed, and febreezed - because it smells like dog after we vacuum) and the kids' bathroom cleaned this morning while Alyssa was a pre-school. Felt SO great. Until I walked around the corner to see the rest of the house in all its glorious chaos. I can't remember the last time my entire house was picked up. If ever. Maybe when we walked through it for the first time when we were house shopping.
Signed,
Wondering on 150th St.
PS - I got the kids' rooms cleaned (picked up, vacuumed, dusted, windows washed, and febreezed - because it smells like dog after we vacuum) and the kids' bathroom cleaned this morning while Alyssa was a pre-school. Felt SO great. Until I walked around the corner to see the rest of the house in all its glorious chaos. I can't remember the last time my entire house was picked up. If ever. Maybe when we walked through it for the first time when we were house shopping.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Everything but the kitchen sink
This morning as I was getting Alyssa out of the car to take her into preschool I caught a glimpse of a white piece of paper in her bucket that I hadn't seen before. My heart sank as I read "Attention Parents ... " and then the note proceeded to instruct us that it was "things that go" week and requesting that each child bring a vehicle-type toy to preschool on Friday (today). Whoops! But then I realized what I was standing next to. My very own "has everything in it but the kitchen sink" backseat bonanza! A little bit of digging around and ta-da ... one toy train!
It seems like almost daily I curse the state of my backseat and its 12 inches of trash, clothes, toys, etc, but today it came in handy.
Reminded me of the time last summer that we met the Kleffmans/Kleffmen at McDonald's to learn that we had to provide socks for our kids to be able to play in the play place. A little digging around in the backseat and presto ... 2 pairs of socks!
It seems like almost daily I curse the state of my backseat and its 12 inches of trash, clothes, toys, etc, but today it came in handy.
Reminded me of the time last summer that we met the Kleffmans/Kleffmen at McDonald's to learn that we had to provide socks for our kids to be able to play in the play place. A little digging around in the backseat and presto ... 2 pairs of socks!
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
My excuse ...
I guess it hasn't really been *that* long since I've blogged, but it feels like forever.
I blame the cult that is "Twilight" (and the rest of the series). I've become infatuated with the books, the movie, searching Youtube for film clips and the internet for interviews/news, etc. I think I need a 12 step program.
So that's my excuse. I blame Paula for insisting that she needed to overnight the first book to me after she read it. She's such a bad influence. ;)
I blame the cult that is "Twilight" (and the rest of the series). I've become infatuated with the books, the movie, searching Youtube for film clips and the internet for interviews/news, etc. I think I need a 12 step program.
So that's my excuse. I blame Paula for insisting that she needed to overnight the first book to me after she read it. She's such a bad influence. ;)
Thursday, February 05, 2009
Realization
I had a flooring guy come out today to do an estimate to have our wood floors sanded/refinished. As he was walking me through "the process" he mentioned that for 3 or 4 days we would have to stay off the floors for 8-10 hours while everything sealed. It was about then that I realized that every entrance (short of windows) in or out of our house connects directly to our wood floors. That makes things a little more challenging.
I have two thoughts:
1. I wonder if we could convince our insurance company that they needed to cover a hotel room for us for 4 days while the floors were finished. I could handle hanging out at CoCo Key for 4 days.
2. I wonder if my parents would still be speaking with us if we came to stay with them for 4 days.
Either way, I think we need to wait until the weather warms up before we do it so that regardless of where the kids and I end up we can spend time outside.
I have two thoughts:
1. I wonder if we could convince our insurance company that they needed to cover a hotel room for us for 4 days while the floors were finished. I could handle hanging out at CoCo Key for 4 days.
2. I wonder if my parents would still be speaking with us if we came to stay with them for 4 days.
Either way, I think we need to wait until the weather warms up before we do it so that regardless of where the kids and I end up we can spend time outside.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
What's wrong with this picture?
aka "Overheard at Daycare"
"Joel, that's Will's purse. Please give it back to Will and we'll go find your purse"
*insert Will and Joel both screaming "MINNNEEEEEEEEEEE!" at the same time*
"Where's Joel's purse? That's Will's, buddy, let's go find yours. Where's the pink polka dot purse?"
*Will brings me me Joel's polka dot purse, so I not-so-gently remove the cherry purse from Joel's clutches*
*Joel cries*
"Joel! Look what I'm putting in your purse ... its a barbie! Look, there's a barbie in your purse!"
The tears finally subsided when he discovered the Hannah Montana microphone that had been "lost" on top of the washing machine. "its the best of both worlds!!!!!!"
I'm kind of afraid to take him over to the Kleffmans' house ... he might get beat up.
Now our boy Joel is hoarding all of his toys in a pile and if you even look at him he roars at you. Methinks the terrible twos arrived just on schedule. *sigh*
But he did just offer me some of his cheez-its, so maybe there's still hope for him.
"Joel, that's Will's purse. Please give it back to Will and we'll go find your purse"
*insert Will and Joel both screaming "MINNNEEEEEEEEEEE!" at the same time*
"Where's Joel's purse? That's Will's, buddy, let's go find yours. Where's the pink polka dot purse?"
*Will brings me me Joel's polka dot purse, so I not-so-gently remove the cherry purse from Joel's clutches*
*Joel cries*
"Joel! Look what I'm putting in your purse ... its a barbie! Look, there's a barbie in your purse!"
The tears finally subsided when he discovered the Hannah Montana microphone that had been "lost" on top of the washing machine. "its the best of both worlds!!!!!!"
I'm kind of afraid to take him over to the Kleffmans' house ... he might get beat up.
Now our boy Joel is hoarding all of his toys in a pile and if you even look at him he roars at you. Methinks the terrible twos arrived just on schedule. *sigh*
But he did just offer me some of his cheez-its, so maybe there's still hope for him.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Professionalism, please
I have struggled with one of my daycare families for several months now. Really since they started ~ I "lovingly" refer to one of their children as the "poopinator" - an almost 4 year old who would routinely take off his pull up during naptime and get poop all over my furniture, carpet, etc. For the last 3 months I have jumped through hoops for them when they decided that they wanted to drop from two days a week to one day a week without any formal "warning". Then they wanted to change their hours so that their kids got dropped off about 15 minutes before my schedule naptime. Then about 3 weeks ago they decided they needed two days a week again and promised to get in touch with me so we could discuss a schedule. Getting in touch with me last week was calling at 6:30 Sunday night to see if I wanted to watch the kids on Monday. Getting in touch with me this week was e-mailing me Sunday afternoon to inform me that they had hired a nanny to come to their house and wouldn't be needing me anymore. Credit to them they did offer to bring their kids for two more weeks since I have a "two week notice" clause in my contract.
My first thought was to e-mail back and say, "Screw you, forget it ... good riddance". I was horribly upset. I was so relieved when they announced that they were going to go back to two days a week because it would make our money situation a lot more comfortable and now we're losing that income all together. I'm not sorry to see them go at all because its been nothing but issues and stress and annoyances with them since they started. But I am sorry to see the paycheck go.
But as I've thought about it more and more, I think the thing that upsets me the most is that she felt the need to tell me via an e-mail. Didn't even have the respect/courtesy to call me and tell me "in person". Almost since the start of our "relationship" I have felt that these parents appreciated everything I have done for them, but didn't have a lot of RESPECT for me ... and that's something that I think really stinks. I am the last person that wants to engage in any sort of confrontation, but be an adult for crying out loud!
I know everything will work out and I know that I will be a lot happier having this family out of my life, but for now I just want to be as childish as the mom is/was and just tell them to stick it where the sun doesn't shine (for Adam ... Seattle, Washington). But I'm going to sleep on it and then respond tomorrow. Or as Adam suggested, wait until Wednesday night since Thursday is their "regular" daycare day.
My first thought was to e-mail back and say, "Screw you, forget it ... good riddance". I was horribly upset. I was so relieved when they announced that they were going to go back to two days a week because it would make our money situation a lot more comfortable and now we're losing that income all together. I'm not sorry to see them go at all because its been nothing but issues and stress and annoyances with them since they started. But I am sorry to see the paycheck go.
But as I've thought about it more and more, I think the thing that upsets me the most is that she felt the need to tell me via an e-mail. Didn't even have the respect/courtesy to call me and tell me "in person". Almost since the start of our "relationship" I have felt that these parents appreciated everything I have done for them, but didn't have a lot of RESPECT for me ... and that's something that I think really stinks. I am the last person that wants to engage in any sort of confrontation, but be an adult for crying out loud!
I know everything will work out and I know that I will be a lot happier having this family out of my life, but for now I just want to be as childish as the mom is/was and just tell them to stick it where the sun doesn't shine (for Adam ... Seattle, Washington). But I'm going to sleep on it and then respond tomorrow. Or as Adam suggested, wait until Wednesday night since Thursday is their "regular" daycare day.
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
I'm first!
I'm not sure if I've mentioned this on here before or not, but the past couple weeks Alyssa has been obsessed with screaming "I'm first" and throwing herself right up against me (to prevent anyone else being able to get anywhere close to me and possibly getting something before her) when I'm making breakfast, handing out snacks, trying to get kids dressed etc. Joel has picked up on her habit, so I swear one of his first full sentences was "I first!" (it was either that or "I'm a dog" which he regularly says as he's crawling around on all fours and panting).
This afternoon I was handing out fruit snacks and Alyssa started getting pouty because I handed one to Joel before she could proclaim that she was supposed to be first. I told her that she could be first next time and reminded her that she and Joel had to take turns. Then I asked her if she wanted any Nilla Wafers and she was very excited about the prospect, so I handed her two of them. I then gave 2 to Joel and she handed hers back to me and said that she didn't really want them, she just wanted to be first.
Ah, kids.
This afternoon I was handing out fruit snacks and Alyssa started getting pouty because I handed one to Joel before she could proclaim that she was supposed to be first. I told her that she could be first next time and reminded her that she and Joel had to take turns. Then I asked her if she wanted any Nilla Wafers and she was very excited about the prospect, so I handed her two of them. I then gave 2 to Joel and she handed hers back to me and said that she didn't really want them, she just wanted to be first.
Ah, kids.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Quotable Christmas
A few quotes from our house the last couple days that make me smile and that I want to remember ...
Last night at church during the candle lighting portion of the service, Joel looked at the candle in Alyssa's hand and proclaimed "ohhhh! HOT!!!" in a very loud voice. I heard quite a few giggles from behind us.
Tonight I was letting Alyssa do my make up with her make up kit that Santa brought her. When she was finished, she proclaimed that it was my turn to "decorate" her.
I'm not exactly sure why, but I always remember an orange (or maybe in a pinch an apple) being stuffed into the toe of my stocking on Christmas morning, so Santa does that for Alyssa and Joel, too. This afternoon Alyssa told me that she had been worried because she forgot to tell Santa that she wanted an orange for Christmas and was quite relieved that he had put one in her stocking anyway. Whatever, weirdo! ;)
Even with the "low" this morning regarding the basketball hoop, overall we had a pretty great Christmas. Lots of wonderful gifts from friends and family, yummy steak and potatoes for Christmas dinner, the entire family got to take naps this afternoon, and a day where I didn't worry about cleaning or laundry (much). Just a day focused on really doing nothing but enjoying Adam and the kids and the blessings that we have in our life; and that's a great day in my book.
Last night at church during the candle lighting portion of the service, Joel looked at the candle in Alyssa's hand and proclaimed "ohhhh! HOT!!!" in a very loud voice. I heard quite a few giggles from behind us.
Tonight I was letting Alyssa do my make up with her make up kit that Santa brought her. When she was finished, she proclaimed that it was my turn to "decorate" her.
I'm not exactly sure why, but I always remember an orange (or maybe in a pinch an apple) being stuffed into the toe of my stocking on Christmas morning, so Santa does that for Alyssa and Joel, too. This afternoon Alyssa told me that she had been worried because she forgot to tell Santa that she wanted an orange for Christmas and was quite relieved that he had put one in her stocking anyway. Whatever, weirdo! ;)
Even with the "low" this morning regarding the basketball hoop, overall we had a pretty great Christmas. Lots of wonderful gifts from friends and family, yummy steak and potatoes for Christmas dinner, the entire family got to take naps this afternoon, and a day where I didn't worry about cleaning or laundry (much). Just a day focused on really doing nothing but enjoying Adam and the kids and the blessings that we have in our life; and that's a great day in my book.
Merry Freakin Christmas
To the jackasses who bought the Little Tykes basketball hoop/set before us and then felt compelled to take the toy out of the box, fill the box with your cigarette-smoke-smelling trash, and then return it to the store so that I could unsuspectingly purchase it for my son for Christmas ... screw you!
I don't know if I should be more angry or sad, but either way I want to march into Toys R Us and rip the first employee I see a new one. Or just burst into tears and start wailing about how they ruined my and my family's Christmas.
Thinking of the "season", I'm trying to be a good person by thinking about how fortunate my children are that they have numerous new toys, books, movies, etc that they don't really notice that they can't play with this one specific gift. And I know that I as a parent would do almost anything to give my children anything they want and maybe the actual toy brought incredible joy to a child that would normally not get a Christmas/birthday/whatever present.
Or maybe they are just jerks. (I really, really want to curse, but since my mom reads my blog, I'm using more PG language).
But now as I look back at the pictures from my parents Christmas last night where I see Joel so proudly pushing his huge, wrapped present into the living room to unwrap, the pictures of Alyssa and Joel sitting in front of the unwrapped box in awe and excitement at getting to play with a "real" basketball hoop, its tainted for me. Instead of seeing the excitement and innocence and happiness of my kids when I look back on those pictures in years to come I'll remember the confusion, anger, and eventual sadness that came when I actually opened the box up. I guess some things are better left unopened.
I already have proclaimed that I hate shopping at Toys R Us. It seems like I have never had a good experience with them - rude employees, false advertising, the list goes on. I am already dreading the process of taking this gift back.
I don't know if I should be more angry or sad, but either way I want to march into Toys R Us and rip the first employee I see a new one. Or just burst into tears and start wailing about how they ruined my and my family's Christmas.
Thinking of the "season", I'm trying to be a good person by thinking about how fortunate my children are that they have numerous new toys, books, movies, etc that they don't really notice that they can't play with this one specific gift. And I know that I as a parent would do almost anything to give my children anything they want and maybe the actual toy brought incredible joy to a child that would normally not get a Christmas/birthday/whatever present.
Or maybe they are just jerks. (I really, really want to curse, but since my mom reads my blog, I'm using more PG language).
But now as I look back at the pictures from my parents Christmas last night where I see Joel so proudly pushing his huge, wrapped present into the living room to unwrap, the pictures of Alyssa and Joel sitting in front of the unwrapped box in awe and excitement at getting to play with a "real" basketball hoop, its tainted for me. Instead of seeing the excitement and innocence and happiness of my kids when I look back on those pictures in years to come I'll remember the confusion, anger, and eventual sadness that came when I actually opened the box up. I guess some things are better left unopened.
I already have proclaimed that I hate shopping at Toys R Us. It seems like I have never had a good experience with them - rude employees, false advertising, the list goes on. I am already dreading the process of taking this gift back.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Wishing I could clone myself
I can't remember the last time I felt this queasy/nauseous. Last night Eric and Hope came over for supper/Wii playing, which was oodles of fun, but about 20 minutes before they left I started feeling very "gurgly" in my stomach. By the time I went to be I was shaking violently, so I'm assuming that I was running some sort of fever. I don't think I really fell into a deep sleep and was up about every hour for a trip to the bathroom. Then about 4 this morning (I think) I found out that Adam had been up several times to throw up. I am sooo thankful that I haven't thrown up, I'll take the "other end issues", although part of me does wonder if I would feel better if I did throw up.
I don't think I'll experiment.
So here's my dilema ... I'm supposed to work from 12 - 4 today. 1. I'm not sure if Adam will be able to take care of the kids. 2. I cannot even think about food without wanting to throw up and/or my stomach starts cramping violently. Probably not going to be a good shift trying to sell Omaha Steaks products. Although it is getting late enough in the season that probably a majority of what I'll be doing will be track packages.
So - I go in and suffer through it - although I don't know if I can be away from the bathroom for the 20 minute drive in. Or I cross my fingers and hope that what I have is a 12 hour thing and I'm feeling immensely better. And then there's always the "can Adam handle the kids while he's sick" option. Or I don't go in ... but then I lose my attendance bonus (an extra $1 an hour for all the hours I've worked in the last 3 weeks) and I wouldn't be eligible for the rehire bonus next year, which would be mean that I would be out that $200 and would have to do a week long training again if I wanted to work there again. So just by not going in today for 4 hours, I would be out probably around $300. Talk about your rock and a hard place.
If only I had a cloning machine.
I don't think I'll experiment.
So here's my dilema ... I'm supposed to work from 12 - 4 today. 1. I'm not sure if Adam will be able to take care of the kids. 2. I cannot even think about food without wanting to throw up and/or my stomach starts cramping violently. Probably not going to be a good shift trying to sell Omaha Steaks products. Although it is getting late enough in the season that probably a majority of what I'll be doing will be track packages.
So - I go in and suffer through it - although I don't know if I can be away from the bathroom for the 20 minute drive in. Or I cross my fingers and hope that what I have is a 12 hour thing and I'm feeling immensely better. And then there's always the "can Adam handle the kids while he's sick" option. Or I don't go in ... but then I lose my attendance bonus (an extra $1 an hour for all the hours I've worked in the last 3 weeks) and I wouldn't be eligible for the rehire bonus next year, which would be mean that I would be out that $200 and would have to do a week long training again if I wanted to work there again. So just by not going in today for 4 hours, I would be out probably around $300. Talk about your rock and a hard place.
If only I had a cloning machine.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Snow day thoughts ...
I was very glad to get the e-mail last night that Alyssa didn't have preschool today so that I didn't have to venture out in the world this morning. I feel like all I've been doing this week is running in 15 different directions and I'm ready for some down time.
I've been feeling slightly guilty about my lack of blogging lately. I don't have a whole lot to say, but here's a few thoughts for today.
First an adorable story about Joel, though. His newest thing is that if you say "Who wants to _____" when he's within earshot, he'll immediately yell "ME!!!". Who wants to sleep with Lexi? Joel! Who wants to go potty with Alyssa? Joel! Who wants to take a bath? Joel! Who wants to do the dishes? Joel! Until last night when I asked "who wants some veggie pizza?" and heard a very loud and firm "NO!" coming from my sweet little boy. We tried every variation of the question trying to get him to say "Me!", but as soon as they boy heard the word "veggie" he was not having it.
And now for snow day thoughts:
1. I picked the wrong day to volunteer to scoop the driveway. I figured it would be an easy way to get my cardio in for the day, but damn ... two inches of ice followed by 2-3 inches of snow does not make for easy drive way cleaning! Thank goodness for next door neighbor Robb and his arsenal of ice chipping tools or I would have been out there for hours!
2. Today marks the first time I have had the opportunity to bundle up two kids in their new snow pants and boots and an odd assortment of coats, mittens, hats, etc ... I wish I could way a magic wand and cut down on the actual "prep" time.
3. I want new boots. Should have added that to my Christmas list.
4. The neighbor kids have an inflatable sled. That's so much cooler than the circa 1985 red plastic sled that my kids inherited from my youth.
5. I hope that playing outside this morning wipes my kids out so that they'll take a looonng nap this afternoon. Now I've probably jinxed myself and it will give them some strange super-energy.
I've been feeling slightly guilty about my lack of blogging lately. I don't have a whole lot to say, but here's a few thoughts for today.
First an adorable story about Joel, though. His newest thing is that if you say "Who wants to _____" when he's within earshot, he'll immediately yell "ME!!!". Who wants to sleep with Lexi? Joel! Who wants to go potty with Alyssa? Joel! Who wants to take a bath? Joel! Who wants to do the dishes? Joel! Until last night when I asked "who wants some veggie pizza?" and heard a very loud and firm "NO!" coming from my sweet little boy. We tried every variation of the question trying to get him to say "Me!", but as soon as they boy heard the word "veggie" he was not having it.
And now for snow day thoughts:
1. I picked the wrong day to volunteer to scoop the driveway. I figured it would be an easy way to get my cardio in for the day, but damn ... two inches of ice followed by 2-3 inches of snow does not make for easy drive way cleaning! Thank goodness for next door neighbor Robb and his arsenal of ice chipping tools or I would have been out there for hours!
2. Today marks the first time I have had the opportunity to bundle up two kids in their new snow pants and boots and an odd assortment of coats, mittens, hats, etc ... I wish I could way a magic wand and cut down on the actual "prep" time.
3. I want new boots. Should have added that to my Christmas list.
4. The neighbor kids have an inflatable sled. That's so much cooler than the circa 1985 red plastic sled that my kids inherited from my youth.
5. I hope that playing outside this morning wipes my kids out so that they'll take a looonng nap this afternoon. Now I've probably jinxed myself and it will give them some strange super-energy.
Sunday, December 07, 2008
Basement Project 2.0
This section took more than just an afternoon; more like one afternoon and one morning. I would say that I've now tackled probably about 1/2 the basement. Feels really, really, really good to be able to look at before/after pictures and see my progress. And I wanted to post these so that my mom knew that I was still working on it even though she isn't here to crack the whip. ;)
Friday, December 05, 2008
Warm tummy, warm heart, and a new tradition
Tonight we loaded up the kids in their jammies in the car (with new fleece snowflake blankets toasty warm from the dryer), picked up some hot chocolate from Starbucks, and drove around looking at Christmas lights. Joel was highly impressed - he "ohhhhhhhhh"ed all around town. Alyssa had fun, too. She loved pointing out the different Santas; we'll see how she feels about the "real deal" next week at the mall. I had a great time, too - my tummy is warm from peppermint hot chocolate and my heart is warm from creating a special memory with the people I love most in the world. My hope is that it will become a yearly tradition.
PS ~ Dee, you GOTTA take your kids to see the house in the picture ... they have every Christmas character you could imagine, plus several non-Christmas ones like all the Sesame Street gang (aka big yellow duck or whatever it was - ha!), every inflatable you could think of, and lights that are coordinated to Christmas music on a radio station. Its awesome!
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