TV tonight

Goodness 3 blog entries in one day . . . I need to get myself a life.

I wasn't going to watch Martha's Apprentice. I figured it was just another way for her to make even more money and I've never really been that fond of her. I think she does amazing things, but it all seems a bit much. Honestly, am I ever going to make monogrammed bath towels for each houseguest I ever have? Anyway . . . tonight I watched the show because frankly there was nothing else on TV. I have to admit it ~ I actually ENJOYED it. I think I might become hooked. It was really interesting watching her from a business stand point and not a "make everything in your life obnoxiously fancy" point. Not that I wouldn't love to have everything in my life obnoxiously fancy, I just don't have that much energy, time, or money. I'm impressed that she uses her time in jail as something that she has learned from and that makes her a stronger person. Its not a "woe is me I was screwed over I shouldn't have gone to jail" thing and that really surprised me.

Then I watched the premier of Nanny 911. I love that show. It makes me long for my days as a nanny, although thankfully the G/D family was MUCH more calm than most of those families. They drove me crazy sometimes, but they were great kids and good parents deep down. * note to self, I really, really, really need to call them since the kids haven't met Alyssa yet* Anyway, if I would have been the mom in tonight’s episode I think I would have left my husband. The kids were doing something and she warned them to stop doing it because they were going to get hurt/break another leg/something along those lines. The Dad stood at the top of the stairs chanting, "Do it! Do it! Do it!". I couldn't believe how he just totally blew off the mom because the most important thing to him was having fun with his kids at any cost. Of course, he came around by the end of the show and realized how important safety is, but seriously I don't know how that woman lived with a partner who didn't stand up for her at all. I can't imagine living like that. I would have run for the hills!

Seriously!

How long is it going to take for me to remember that there is now a child-proof latch on the pantry in the kitchen?! I'm amazed I haven't ripped the door off the hinges yet. Adam put a sticker on the door to help remind me/us. I think he should have put up a sign that says "Hey moron (yes, you Christi) this won't open unless you release the blankity blank blank blank childproof lock". Is that too much to ask for?

Random thoughts for Wednesday

So, I decided to switch our trash company this morning because BradD was telling me about a company that was TONS cheaper (okay, $5.50 a month, but it offers free recycling, so its acutally $10 and $10 is $10). I called the new company and set everything up and then I called the current company to switch ~ here's how it went.

Me: Yes, I'd liked to cancel service
Trash Person: Okay, we can do that. Can I ask why?
Me: We decided to go with another company that was cheaper.
TP: Did you know that we do price match?
Me: No, I didn't.
TP: Okay, so when do you want your last day to be?

What?! No attempt to keep my business? What kind of joke is that? I feel better going with the new company because they are a small mom/pop kind of company and are super nice instead of the huge impersonal company we currently use, but I would have liked to have been "fought over" a little.

I'm listening to the radio this afternoon while feeding Alyssa lunch and I hear this commercial asking if you've ever had herpes. If you haven't, you can sign up to have some medical group test the herpes vaccine on you. Does that mean that you want me to basically sign up to be given herpes (and probably not "the fun" way that you would get herpes) that I may or may not get depending on if this shot works? That just seems wrong to me. But anything for a buck, right?

Funny Alyssa action of the day: I was getting something out of the pantry and she grabbed a bottle of "Bitter Spray" that we use on the dogs (mostly for when Lexi is attempting to trample someone who is trying to walk in the door). She lets out this crazy yell and starts crawling like a crazy baby after Lexi carrying the spray along with her. I don't know if I've ever seen Lexi look so spooked. Maybe after "the balloon monster" incident. ;) Its a close call.

I'm a sentimental fool . . .

Lately I've been feeling really sappy. Maybe its because we just passed the one year anniversary of my grandma Nelsen passing away and I think about her all the time. I wish both she and Grandpa would have been able to meet Alyssa. I miss them both so, so much. Maybe its because we are quickly approaching the one year birthday of my sweet baby girl. Maybe its just me being crazy and hormonal ~ just ask the gang that saw me break down sobbing at dinner at Olive Garden the other night over some big news (more on that later).

Yesterday mom and I went over to my cousin's house to visit his family (and to unload my exersaucer, jumperoo, and a couple other big baby toys ~ ahhhh, the house feels bigger already). Carson, who's 5, sat down next to me, scooted closer and whispered "Do you want one of my pictures?" and handed me one of his flag football photos. Too cute! Jay's kids are really shy around Mom and I since we only see them a couple times a year ~ even though we only live about 15 minutes apart. Maybe he remembers that I shared Alyssa's grilled cheese with him at Applebees a few months ago when his sister wouldn't share hers. Or that I gave him my pickle ~ that's the way to a kid's heart . . . give 'em a pickle. Anyway, it warmed my heart that he wanted me to have one of his pictures.

Lately I've been watching Adam and Alyssa interact with each other and I'm so thankful for such a wonderful husband and a wonderful daughter. I love seeing the way her face bursts into a smile as soon as she sees Adam. And I love the way that he cuddles her and tickles her. I love that they love each other so much. I love that I love them both so much. I don't know what I would do without them.

And I want to give an emotional shout-out to my friend Angie aka the one I'm having an affair with. Who recognizes how difficult it is for me to ask for help (even for something as silly as birthday invitations) and is proud of me for asking. Who understands my craziness because, heck, let's face it ~ she's kinda crazy too! ;) I don't know what I would do without you, lady, and I love you bunches. Let's hear it for getting drunk and bonding at Holiday Parties!!!

Alyssa's First Wet T-shirt Contest

This picture cracks me up . . .

Something I love and Something I hate

I've blogged about my love of fall before, but now that its officially here, I just have to give it another shout out! Today has been 70-75 with a definite "crispness" in the air. I wish it was 70-75 and sunny instead of overcast and gray, but I'll take what I can get. I got a huge craving for chili, so I'm "experimenting" with dinner tonight. I threw a bunch of chili-ish ingredients into the crock pot and we'll see what happens. I am so thankful that I have a husband who will try anything that I put in front of him. I'm looking forward to an evening of comfortable clothes, fuzzy socks, chili and crackers, and cuddling up to watch a movie/TV. Ahhhhh I LOVE FALL!!!!

Okay, now on to something I hate. We have a radio station in town that when I was growing up would start playing Christmas music 24/7 the day after Thanksgiving. I thought it was the greatest thing because I LOVE Christmas and I LOVE Christmas music. I admit that from time to time I'll pull out a Christmas CD in the middle of the summer and play it just to get my fix. Last year, said radio station started playing Christmas music the day after Halloween, which I thought was a bit much. Let us get through Thanksgiving and then you can start up with the festivities, but I love Christmas music, so I didn't think about it too much. Today, September 23rd (the SECOND day of fall) I'm driving home from the mall, flipping channels and would you believe that I heard "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town" coming out of my speakers. Come ON people, you have GOT to be kidding me! Freakin' September 23rd! Lord have mercy on those poor parents who have to explain to their kids that they still have about 100 shopping days until Christmas. Why does all the Christmas hub bub have to start so early?! Is a month not long enough? I've always been able to do all my decorating, celebrating, shopping, ect for the Christmas season in a month and have not felt supremely rushed. What's next, start it up the day after Valentine's Day?!

I see a toddler in my midst

I turned around in the kitchen today while getting Alyssa's lunch ready to find her with her finger up her nose. I told her "don't pick your nose, silly girl!" to which she pulled her finger out, gave me an "oh yeah, look at this, mom" look, and up the nose the finger went again.

*sigh* I'm not ready for this attitude.

Now she just slammed the door shut to her bedroom. She's going straight from baby to moody teenager before my eyes!

I'm so weird . . .

how weird are you?! you may ask . . .

Last night/this morning I got up with Alyssa around 3:30. I got her back to sleep pretty quickly and then went back to bed myself, but I felt like something wasn't quite right. Then I realized it ~ I was wearing shorts. I'm strictly a t-shirt and underwear for sleeping kind of girl and as I laid there in my shorts I COULD NOT FALL ASLEEP! I tossed and turned for a long time, then decided to take off the shorts and BAM out like a light.

Please oh please don't let my OCD be passed on to Alyssa or any future children.

School Lunch has come a long way!

I was just checking out the websites for some local elementary schools and just for fun clicked on the lunch menu link. They offer 3, count 'em, 3 different main courses! 2 hot lunch options and 1 cold lunch option. We never had options when I was in school. In high school we could have hot lunch or make a sandwich, but never that much choice in elementary school. Wow. Maybe that's a "big city" thing that this small town girl didn't get to experience.

Renewed Bookworm

Somewhere between the end of college and then end of my pregnancy I pretty much stopped reading. Actually until about 6 weeks ago I had stopped reading, unless it was US Weekly or a parenting magazine (or a baby blues book because DAMN I love that strip). This is from the girl that used to go to the mall with her mom and have her mom leave her in the bookstore while said mom went shopping so that I could sit on the floor and read Babysitters Club books. For as long as I can remember I have loved reading and have been a super fast reader, but for some reason I drifted away from that during my pregnancy and Alyssa's first few months. Maybe because all my spare time was spent attempting to catch up on sleep? Anyway, in the past 6 weeks or so I have filed about a dozen new books under my reading belt and it feels sooooo good to be reading again.

Awhile back on my October moms' board the idea for a book swap came up, so I immediately signed up thinking it sounded like tons of fun. The idea was that the person in charge would give you the name of someone who seemed to have the same taste in books that you did and you would send/receive two books. I received two books that I never, ever, ever would have read (probably). I was very skeptical about reading them, but I put a lot of effort into picking the books that I sent to my person, so I wanted to give them a try. I'm not the type of person to start a book and not finish it ~ I stick with it to the end. I have to say I really enjoyed both books. They were unlike anything I have ever read before, but that was kind of a refreshing change. Both of them seemed very grown up compared to the chick lit/Harry Potter rut I had been in, so it really got my brain to thinking. (Its nice knowing that Alyssa has sucked all the brain cells out of me yet ~ she's got to leave a few for her future siblings to destroy, right?). I hope the person I sent my books to enjoyed/will enjoy the books I sent as much as I enjoyed the ones I received. Thank you to my book sender who helped open my eyes to two really great books that I most certainly would have overlooked.

I must be crazy

Since we went through the whole "moving drama" last week, I've been thinking more and more about what it would be like to move back to my hometown. All my life I can remember thinking that there was NO WAY I would ever want to end up back there, but as I was driving home on Saturday I started thinking about the charms that the little town has to offer. And we could get 3 times the house for what we paid for our current house. I had a dream last night that a house just down the street from my parents that used to be owned by some people that I babysat for frequently was up for sale. I always loved that house.

I wonder if Adam would ever consider moving there. I would if I would ever REALLY want to.

Unbelievably Close

The countdown is on . . .

Happy 11 Month Birthday Alyssa!

Dear Alyssa,

My sweet baby girl you are 11 months old today! I have no idea where the time has gone, but you bring more joy to us each and every day. You constantly make me laugh at how mischevious you are ~ I’m sure some day I’ll realize how many grey hairs you are giving me, but for now I’m loving every moment.

This past month some of your cutest new tricks have revolved around the dogs. You mastered using Lexi as a step stool to give you a boost so that you can climb on top of the living room furniture and if someone says “Alyssa, what does the puppy do?” and pant at you, you’ll stick out your tongue and pant back. Too funny! Your favorite toy seems to be the stairs; you are bound and determined to climb up and down as many times a day as you can. We were blocking off the steps going down to the garage with the ottoman, but you figured out how you could stand on the bottom step going up to the bedroom and climb up on top of the ottoman. So then I put the pack n’ play in front of the steps and the first thing you tried to do was squeeze underneath it. Then when I rearranged living room furniture there was about a 8 inch gap between the edge of the couch and the pack n’ play and somehow you squeezed your way through that and down the steps. I have got to hand it to you ~ you are one determined little girl! I hope you always keep your sense of determination and creativity when life hands you challenges.

Last month you took your first vacation to Colorado to visit Uncle Mark, cousin Brandy, Aunt Joni, Uncle Clay, and cousin Anna. You did really well on the car ride, but we had grandma and grandpa along to play games and entertain you, so that really helped. You had a great time playing with your cousins and everyone loved getting to spend extra time with you. You, Daddy, and Brandy had a great time jumping on the trampoline.

You finally got a top tooth just a few days ago and it looks like the 2nd one (your fourth total) should be coming through any minute. Teething makes you pretty cranky and clingy. As much as it frustrates me that I can’t seem to get away from you even for a few minutes to get some things done, there’s part of me that loves that you want your mommy. I hope you’ll always turn to me when you’re hurting!

One day last month I walked into your room to get you up from a nap to find you playing peek-a-boo with your stuffed animals. You would use your lovey to cover up your eyes and then look so pleased with yourself when you pulled it back down. You still amaze me when you play peek-a-boo with us . . . who would have thought that putting something up over your eyes and then waiting for someone to say “where’s Alyssa?!” would turn someone into a genius!

The biggest challenge facing us in your 11th month is getting you to sleep through the night. You’re up an awful lot and its really wearing on both of us. I need to stand strong and try to teach you how to put yourself back to sleep without stopping for a drink at the ‘ol Mommy saloon. It’s a lot easier to nurse you for a few minutes so that you’ll go back to sleep quickly than fight you to try to get you to go back to sleep, but I know it will be better for both of us if you’re sleeping longer stretches. Good luck to us!

Happy 11 month birthday, beautiful Alyssa Marie. I love you baby girl; to the moon and back.

Hugs and Kisses,Mommy

This day in history . . .

I feel the need this year to address the anniversary of September 11th. It brings back memories of a friendship that I held very dear to me for several years. My friend Jen was living with Adam and I on September 11th. She and I spoke several times that day about everything that was going on via phone as I headed Fremont to work in the theatre and for some reason every time I think about where I was that day, I instantly think of Jen. Our friendship has dwindled over the past couple years. We have been through so many big, life changing things together, I knew that I could count on her no matter what and I hate that we're nothing but a memory to each other anymore. I know that's largely my fault. I didn't make time for her the way I should have. I always allowed her to be the "started" of things in our friendship from the very start ~ I remember her calling me all the time just to chat after she had gotten home from work or just randomly throughout the day, but I don't remember doing that. She was always willing to ditch Odyssey for me just to go have lunch together. She was my crazy "do anything anywhere" friend. I treasure those memories. I can't imagine life without her, yet I've just let her slip away. True, she's 3 hours away now and not 3 feet in our guest room, but that's not a good excuse. Today has me wondering if its too late. I miss her. I think about her all the time. I wonder if she ever thinks of me.

Cheese and Rice ~ Answer your phones!

Why is it that Adam and I are on the brink of making the most important decision of our lives (okay, maybe that is a tad overdramatic, but hey ~ its me we're talking about!) and no one I try to call will answer their phones. Don't these people know that I need their knowledge and advice? What could be more important that ME on the brink of, did I mention, the biggest decision of my life?!

I wonder if I could find a fortune teller open . . . I wonder if she/he would answer her/his phone!

I bet we end up staying.

Holy Poo (no its not an Alyssa post)

What are the odds? Adam and I decide Tuesday night that we're staying put, not moving to the East coast.

Today he's pretty much offered a great job in Southern New Hampshire ~ his dream place to live.

Argh! Mama never told me life was going to be this hard/unfair/crazy! Where's my owners manual? I need some directions!

Pro/Con Moving thoughts (again)

So, Adam had an interview today with a company near Boston. He doesn't think it went very well, but he's awfully hard on himself sometimes, so I don't know whether to "believe" him or not. Last week I had started thinking that we were just meant to stay here and not move East ~ had even started looking at houses/builders/school districts around here and then this interview just kind of fell out of the sky and I'm very torn about the whole moving halfway across the country idea.

From a strictly selfish/me-focused standpoint I started thinking about how after my parents pass away I won't really have anyone. True, I have Joni and Mark, but this is one of those times when the true meaning of "half brother and half sister" rears its ugly head. Once Dad dies, they have each other, but I don't really have anything. So, why not move . . . its not like I have tons of family around here. But then I started thinking about my mom. She's lost both her parents, her sister, and her brother and basically I am her family. Can I really just take that away from her? It seems awfully selfish. I know she would want me to do whatever would make me happy and chase after my dream, but after everything that she's done for me, I feel like I would almost be slapping her in the face. And my dad's health isn't that great. I have a feeling that if his health continues to fail that I would never forgive myself for not being here for both of them and for taking his grandchild(ren) away from him. And I've always wanted a big family ~ extended family included. I love the thought of aunts, uncles, cousins celebrating together and here we have that. We have Adam's family, and my extended family all within an hour of us. Out East we have my cousin and his family in Boston, Adam's extended family (6 people) in PA, so its not nearly the same.

If we stay here I have a feeling we'll have a much more "materially satisfying" life. And since both of us are quite materialistic, that's a huge factor. If we stay here I have a feeling we'll be able to afford a better house, spend money on vacations, save for college/retirement, have a pool, not worry about eating out, ect. If we lived out East I think there would be a lot more pressure for me to have part time work or we would be living paycheck to paycheck with not much opportunity to put money into savings.

Adam has an amazing job right now. He works for one of the best companies in the US. Its steady with amazing benefits. He will never find another job like it. He doesn't seem to be having much like finding/qualifying for the jobs that he's looking for. If something ain't broke, don't fix it, right?

My midwives are here. Alyssa's pediatrician is here (although that may or maynot be an important thing as I was disappointed at her last appointment). Adam and my "crazy" doctors are here. not to mention friends . . . friends that I love the thought of raising our children to gether.

I feel like the logical and right decision is to stay here. I don't want to live 18 - 20 hours away from my family, my home, and everything that I've ever known.

Yet my heart reaches out for the East coast. For the ocean and the mountains and the history . . . it calls to me. But maybe its just destined to be a lifelong crush.

Bittersweet

My baby is growing up . . .

For the past few weeks I've been able to put Alyssa down for her naps wide awake. I make sure she has a binky in her mouth, one for each hand, turn on her aquarium, give her a kiss, and tell her to have a good nap, then walk out of the room and 9 times out of 10 she's fine. But it was a whole new ball game if I tried to do that at night. She would get hysterical. So, I was either nursing or rocking her to sleep every night. And sometimes I would complain about it, but the truth is I loved watching her all sleeping and puckered up in my arms or feeling her head cuddled into the side of my neck as I rocked her. Tonight she seemed wide awake and didn't want to nurse, so I figured I would give the "nap time routine" a shot. Worked like a charm. Not a peep out of her.

*sigh* My baby doesn't need me to go to sleep anymore. I'm so proud of her (and proud of me for getting her to go to sleep on her own without forcing her to cry it out), but it still makes me a little sad. Although this could be a one time deal and I could be getting all worked up over nothing. Goodness knows its happened before ~ motherhood is anything but predictable!

Katrina and God

I read this quote on one of my mom's boards today and it made me feel sick to my stomach (thus, time for blogging! :) )

"Although the loss of lives is deeply saddening, this act of God destroyed a wicked city," stated Repent America director Michael Marcavage. "From 'Girls Gone Wild' to 'Southern Decadence,' New Orleans was a city that had its doors wide open to the public celebration of sin. From the devastation may a city full of righteousness emerge," he continued. New Orleans is also known for its Mardi Gras parties where thousands of drunken men revel in the streets to exchange plastic jewelry for drunken women to expose their breasts. This annual event sparked the creation of the "Girls Gone Wild" video series. In addition, Louisiana had a total of ten abortion clinics with half of them making their home in New Orleans. At these five abortion clinics in the city, countless numbers of children were murdered at the hands of abortionists. "We must help and pray for those ravaged by this disaster, but let us not forget that the citizens of New Orleans tolerated and welcomed the wickedness in their city for so long," Marcavage said. "May this act of God cause us all to think about what we tolerate in our city limits, and bring us trembling before the throne of Almighty God," Marcavage concluded. "

This makes me start to question my faith. I consider myself a Christian, always have. I realize that what this Marcavage guy is saying is similar to the story of Noah, but while I don't really doubt/have a hard time accepting the story of Noah, I can't believe that the Katrina devastation would be "Noah of the 21st Century". It makes me sick to think of babies and elderly dying because of abortion clinics, people who like to drink, and women who like to show off their "goods". I realize that these things are considered sins, so from a Christian stand point maybe they should be punished, but what about the rainbow and the promise God would never again destroy? God seems like a person to me who wouldn't go back on his word.

Then it makes me really angry that there are these people out there who chose to take a horrible act of NATURE and turn it into a God issue. Most Christians (or at least this Christian) was saddened by all the devastation, prayed for those impacted by it and their families, and searched for understanding of why/how this could have happened. But never once until reading this article did I think that it was God's way of punishing an "evil" city. And what about all the other people that were killed and lost their homes? What did they do wrong? I've visited New Orleans, and true it has a lot of sex, drinking, homosexuals, and other horrible sinners (said sarcastically), but what city doesn't? I loved New Orleans. I thought it was on of the most beautiful cities that I had visited, full of culture and diversity and new experiences and it makes me really sad to think about it gone.

I have a close friend who shared with me that she has thoughts that maybe the world is coming to an end. She brought up that there is something in the bible of when there is peace in the Middle East it will be a sign that the world is ending. Well, we're over their trying to bring peace, there was the all tsunami, now Katrina . . . it scares me to think about her theory. I don't want to think about the world ending.

There goes a good 10 years off my life . . .

I knew that Alyssa would give me gray hairs, but who knew that she could so easily take years off my life. Nothing strikes fear in a mother's heart like watching her child head head first down the stairs. Of course, then when I realize that she's purposely pushing herself down the stairs head first I start to think that maybe she just a brave little genius. Most kids are chicken and back their way down the stairs. Not my little peanut . . . she meets challenges head on! Literally!