Parenting Screening

I was reading over a thread on one of my parenting boards that discussed whether being a parent should be considered a privilege or a right and it really got me thinking. I had a friend in college who those people who wanted to have children should have to pass tests to see if they were "qualified" to be a parent. One of the moms on the board said that she didn't think that it was a right that should be taken away from anyone, but it is certainly a privilege. Interesting. I wish there was some sort of screening or class that you had to take to become a parent because I think there are a lot of bad parents out there, but who would really be qualified to judge if someone would make a good parent. There are also a lot of people that before having children are the poster child for a "bad" parent because of their lifestyle, but then once they actually have that child in their arms their personality flips upside down and you couldn't imagine anyone being a better mother/father.

This afternoon I was talking with an "acquaintance" of mine from college who is in the process of adopting a child with her husband. She said that she was still finding it hard to believe that someone was going to give her a child/deem her qualified to raise this little person. But as I pointed out, she and her husband have to go through tons of testing, home visits, classes, etc to be qualified to adopt, so she should feel confident that she really can handle this. The sad thing is, I DON'T think she's going to make a good mother. I am frankly frightened for the child that gets placed with them. I don't think she has any idea the extra challenges they are going to have to face by adopting a child from a foreign country (as well as challenges handling the adoption situation). I honestly think that she is one of those people who feels like she will be able to pick and choose when she wants to be a mom. That if she's busy doing schoolwork or watching TV that she can plop a child in a playpen and come back a couple hours later. I know she and her husband really want children, but I think they want children because that's what they are "supposed" to do. That's what "normal" families are to them; a mother, father, and child(ren). There's so much more than that that makes up a family.

I have had several friends that were adopted, both privately and internationally, and its really sad some of tales I've heard of struggles that they had to deal with. From being the only Korean child in a completely close-minded Midwest Caucasian community to being told, "our real child would never act the way you're acting". I admire people who chose to adopt. I think they are very brave and have wonderful hearts . . . but I still worry.