Let the games BEGIN!

As we are approaching the holiday season, Adam and I are again embarking on a weight loss challenge (because the last one went sooooooooo well :P). We're starting today, October 22nd, going through December 3rd. Adam wants to lose about 10 lbs, I want to lose 15 lbs, winner is the person who has the greatest "percentage" of weight change (down, not up, Adam!). Winner gets $100 smackeroos to spend however SHE wants. Take that sucker, you're going down!

No wonder today's kids don't know what the funny looking orange thing is on their plate . . .

FYI, its a carrot.

One of the mom's on my October board was talking about getting a shopping cart and play food for her daughter. I thought that was a really cool idea, so yesterday Alyssa and I hit Toys R Us with a gift card from Uncle Ben hot in our hands. This mom had mentioned that most of the play food was all junk food, but they did find some fruits and veggies to buy for her daughter's shopping. Not so at our Toys R Us. They had NO fruits/veggies/healthy food to buy. They had the KFC kit, the McDonald's Kit, the dessert kit (ice cream, cake, pie, ect), but no good old fashioned fruits, veggies, soup cans, ect that I remember from "the good old days". The only thing they had that was even close was this frying pan that came with a hamburger, buns, and some tomatoes and lettuce you could put on the burger. Just not the same. So no wonder kids today want to live off fast food and scream and run if you put the smallest hint of a healthy food on their plates . . . its foreign to them! For all they know if they aren't eating fries and chicken nuggets they're going to DIE!

For anyone who cares we ended up buying a Cabbage Patch stroller (to go with the doll that Grandma K is holding hostage) and a set of keys that make fun noises when you push buttons. There's one button that makes all sorts of honking noises ~ makes me feel like I'm driving through New York City or something when I'm cruising down Dodge St at rush hour. Fun for Alyssa and Mommy!

I was up at about 5 this morning, so I got the great idea to do a search on the Little Tykes website for play food to see if they had more options on their website. Nope. So, then I hit ebay thinking that maybe people were selling some old school stuff. I got the name of a brand that looked like it had some good stuff, so I did a search for their products. Know where the only place you can buy it in town is? Home Depot. Now why didn't I think of that?! Silly me going to Toys R Us . . .

You gotta love my "adopted" family

A bit of a background for this post. One of my mom's best friends, Becky, is like a second mom to me. Her sons are like brothers to me and her entire family has "adopted" my family, so I have this wonderful, loud, sometimes inappropriate, extended family for get togethers. These get togethers always include "adult beverages" and it is a widely known fact that it doesn't take much for my mother to get, a bit silly. So my "uncle" Craig is constantly talking about my mom's "drinking problem" how she's a "drunk" ect ~ its quite the family joke.

Last weekend my parents, Becky (my other mom), Jim (her husband), my mom's friend Mary (who is also part of the adopted family), and I went out for dinner after Alyssa's birthday party. We went out for Mexican and since Mom's birthday was Sunday, all the older ladies decided to partake in a margarita. Becky took very "unflattering" pictures of my mom and Mary drinking their rather large margaritas (and yes, they both got quite tipsy and loud by the end of the night) and then we had a picture taken of Becky and I drinking out of her "junior" margarita. So Becky e-mailed pictures out of all of us drinking with the subject "should we be concerned?". Here's the comentary that followed because it CRACKS ME UP!!!


Concerned? We're way beyond that at this point. Mary was always such a
positive role model for poor Sandy; and now the pictures are proof she has
succumbed to the evil of drink as well. Now Becky is aiding in the
corruption of dear Christi - perhaps the only hope for all of you beside
prayers (or lighting candles in Mary's case), is the following:

Alcohol - Drug Treatment Referral 1-800-454-8966

Gordon Recovery Centers 1-800-472-9018

Jackson Recovery Centers 755-7002

Midwest Iowa Alcohol & Drug Weekend 627 - 4289

I have been told that these programs only work when you have reached rock
bottom. I am not so sure about Mary, Christi, and Becky - but there is no
doubt that Sandy hit that point a long time ago.
Just remember Sandy, with Jesus all things are possible.

Craig

Rightfully so, we should be concerned. I have worked drug rehab, and I am
fearful of the peer pressure being placed on Mary. I do believe there is
hope for Sandy. She can leave all of her alcohol at my house. Just one
personal question.....did Norm benefit from all of Sandy's drinking that
evening?
Kris

I must set the record straight.
I was not swayed by Sandy's bad example. I made a decision long ago not to
follow her down the ugly path she has chosen.
But you see--
How can I explain? What can I say?
I guess the truth is best.
It was concern--concern for my dear friend Becky--your beloved sister,
Becky, that drove me to drink on Saturday night.
You see, Jim, your beloved sister's husband, was so preoccupied by what he
saw at the birthday party--that knock-out blonde's purple _____.
Becky smiled bravely, but I knew how distraught she must be. She drank, I
think, to dull the pain. When Becky asked me to have a drink too, I just
couldn't say no.

As for our dear friend Sandy--do you think it may be time for the inevitable
intervention?
Mary

Ahhh, I love these people!

PS ~ It was a purple THONG that got Jim's attention, for anyone who was wondering.

Birthday Festivites

Time for a birthday week update!!!

Wednesday, Alyssa's actual birthday ~ She woke up briefly around 7 right before her daddy took off for work, so we both sang "Happy Birthday" to her and then she fell back to sleep. She and I went out for breakfast to "Le Peep" with Grandma K. She got a unicorn and rainbow balloon from grandad that she loved and a smiley face pancake, which was a huge hit. After breakfast we stopped by Target and got some Robeez knock off cupcake shoes (BIO monkey see - monkey do!) for her. Then to see Dr K for her 1 year well check. She's 19 lbs 14.5 oz (gained 11 lbs 11 oz in a year!) and 29 inches (grew 8 inches). She had 3 shots, but was laughing by the time we got to the parking lot. Its amazing what a grape flavored tongue depressor and some appt. cards can do to cheer up the kid. We had chicken and fettichini alfredo for her birthday dinner and then Julia, Eric, Angie, and Chad came over for birthday cupcakes.

Yesterday was her big birthday party, which went really well. She loved all the attention and was the perfect hostess. There were presents galore ~ tons of adorable clothes and some really fun toys. All the big boys seemed to like the cell phone and fuzzy book the best. And by big boys I mean those from age 28 - 55 ish. I was really happy with the way that her cookie monster and cookie cakes turned out (I'm glad I got "pressured" into making her cakes because it was really fun) and I thought the house looked really nice all decorated up. We had 15 guests, so it was a fun group, not too big, not too small ~ but we did miss Christy and Evan and we hope that Evan is feeling MUCH better.

I'm paranoid and I have issues

My relationship with Adam's mom has its ups and downs. I thought lately we had been on an upward swing. She took Alyssa and I out for breakfast on Wednesday for Alyssa's birthday and came over to "supervise" me while I made Alyssa's cake. Since she's baked many b-day cakes in her lifetime, I wanted her around to bounce ideas off of. I actually had a really fun afternoon with her. She made the frosting and then entertained Alyssa while I did the actual decorating. We all had lunch together, we chatted, it was quite pleasant. And briefly I felt my guard go down and I sighed a sigh of relief because finally I was experiencing what I had always wanted from my relationship with my mother in law.

Then Alyssa's party happened. And I felt so tense. She made little comments here and there to people that I overheard and I couldn't help but feel like they were derogatory towards me. I've been trying really hard not to immediately look for the negative implication of everything she says like I had in the past lately, but it was really hard yesterday. I don't know if it was because I had so many other things on my mind or if she was just being more vicious yesterday. She seemed so closed off. She really didn't touch/interact with Alyssa more than a minute or two all day, didn't say anything about the decorations or anything to me, and kind of stood off to the side the whole time. I don't know if she felt uncomfortable because of all the other people around or if she was just mad. They left without saying goodbye to me; but I suppose that's my fault. I should have stopped talking/saying goodbye/thanking other people and made a point to go over and give them a hug and thank them. I felt like we took 3 giant steps back yesterday in our relationship. She was really excited about getting this rocking chair for Alyssa, but I guess I said that she wasn't old enough for it or didn't seem enthusiastic enough about it, so she didn't get it for her.

And then . . . here comes my HUGE self esteem issues . . . she was having such a great time talking with my brother in law's girlfriend. The girlfriend that is blonde and about 100 lbs ~ just like my mother in law. And so then all these "I wonder how many times she's disgusted by me because I'm overweight" type thoughts pop up and I start feeling really awful about myself. And then I get upset because I've lost almost 50 lbs and she's never said a thing.

Happy First Birthday Baby

About this time one year ago today the "magic epidural man" was working his wonders on me while I was in labor. At that time I was so excited about my dream of becoming a mom coming true in just a few short hours, but I had no idea the impact you and becoming a mom would have on my life.

I had no idea that I could love someone this much. I had no idea that someone could bring me such incredible joy and happiness. That one look could make me feel like the most important person in the world (and on the flip side, one tear could make me feel like the world's most horrible person). It’s been a rollercoaster ride, but I’m glad to have experienced it with you and I look forward to next years of surprises, ups, and downs.

You are so brave. I was really worried that you would be a timid child because I was really shy when I was younger. I didn't like spending time with people I didn't know well, I was nervous to take on challenges when I wasn't sure what the outcome would be, and I was happier being shown/led than figuring things out on my own. You, my baby girl, are the exact opposite! You seem to have no fear. You face challenges head on, you are curious, determined, stubborn, and you never given up. You don't let failure hold you back; you try again until you succeed. I hope you always hold onto that, and know that I will always be there to be your cheerleader.

You make me laugh. You love "finding" Joey hidden under the bed. You think she's hiding because she's playing with you ~ little do you know, she's hiding because she's terrified of you. She'll growl and yelp as you get closer to inching your way under the bed, but you will just squeal with delight and keep it up. Hearing you giggle is my favorite sound in the whole world. You get this mischievous little look on your face when you do something you know you're not supposed to and it takes every bit of my willpower not to totally melt because you are so darn cute. Last night Daddy went to toss you up onto his shoulders (one of your favorite places to be) and you threw up on his head. I couldn't help but laugh at that, too, and amazingly, even Daddy found the humor in the situation. He's come a long way from a guy that was totally grossed out by spit up or feeding you sweet potatoes when you got too messy.

Happy Birthday Peanut. Wishing you happiness always ~ happiness like the kind that you've given to me.

Love always,
Mommy

Let the reminiscing begin!

1 year ago today . . .
I had lunch with my mom at Golden Palace (Chicken Chow Mein) ~ Yum!
Mom and I went to Target.
I "registered" via phone with one of the nurses at the hospital since I was going to be induced the next night (Alyssa had other plans).
I went to Mark and Janna's to pick up hand me downs from Camdyn for the baby.
I made meatloaf for Adam for dinner ~ the first time I ever made meatloaf for him because I don't like it ~ as a "thanks for being such a supportive husband during my pregnancy" present.
I went 30 minutes on the elliptical machine while Adam talked to his Aunt Nancy on the phone ~ once hearing what I was doing, she predicted that I would go into labor that night.
My water broke at 11:15 PM. It feels like it was just yesterday!

Mmmm Mmmm Good

What is it about a bowl of chicken noodle soup and a grilled cheese sandwich that just makes me feel all warm and safe and cuddly? It is the ultimate lunch for a gloomy and chilly fall day. And it kind makes me miss my mom.

Thanks for the idea/craving, Angie! ;)

She walks!

They were pretty shakey, but Alyssa took her first few steps this afternoon! Twice she stood up with the help of one of the kitchen chairs and then took 3 - 4 steps to me. I'm so proud of my little stinker!!! It still seems so unbelievable, but I'm sooo, sooo proud of her. (Remind me of this in a few weeks when I absolutely can't keep up with her ~ or can't get a moment's peace! lol)

Shout out to my peeps/mamas

I remember vividly the apprehension I had when I decided to introduce myself on the "Due in October" board. I had told myself that I was just going to lurk, then told myself I would introduce myself once I had my first appointment and felt more confident about my pregnancy. I think I lasted about 12 hours after I found out I was pregnant. In fact, I think they all knew before I told Adam. :) I honestly can't imagine what my pregnancy would have been like if I hadn't had my fellow moms to interact with. I was pretty much the first one of any of our/my friends to have a baby. My youngest niece was 8, so my sister could kind of relate, but couldn't really remember what it was like to go through all the hormones and the changes. I have another mom's group that I'm very much involved with that has children/babies of all ages and they are a great group of women, but its not nearly the same as having someone who is going through what you are going through at the same time.

My DIO group did amazing things for me. They opened my eyes to so many different opinions on every aspect of life, not just labor/delivery/raising a child. I feel a huge part of the world was opened up to me because of these women. Even though I've kind of gone in "waves" of how actively I participated in our Due In board and our Born In board, not a day goes by where I don't think about them, their babies, and what's going on in their lives. Its amazing to me how connected I feel with these women that I only know via a computer screen. I know them by a screen name, maybe a real name/nickname, a picture, an attitude, a child, ect. Its such a different kind of relationship than I have with anyone else in my life. I think they are what keeps me going as a SAHM. I always worried about not having an "outside" life. Not being around other adults and being stuck with a baby all day long, but its just not true for me. I do have an outside life. I have stories of my friends to tell Adam when he comes home from work.

A few of them Adam knows by name, so I can say "so and so said this" or "so and so's daughter/son did this", but otherwise I bet you hear "one of the mom's on my board said/did . . . " at least 10 times a day around our house. They are all constantly on my mind.

This week has been a really dark week around the born in October board. There has been a lot of struggling going on and I wish more than ever I could reach out and hug these women. I wish I could tell them in person that it was going to be okay, than we're here for them, and let them know how much they and their babies are cared about.

Its so weird feeling like these people you've never met are such a huge part of your lives, but I really don't know what I would do without them. For all the laughs and tears and drama and comfort . . . I appreciate them more than I could ever explain.

It pays to be a screw up in my family

My dad gave my brother several thousand dollars yesterday so that my brother could buy my 15 year old niece who DOES NOT HAVE her license a new jeep because the two cars that they current own aren't "cool" enough for her to drive to school. My brother can't get a loan on his own, so the deal with my parents was that my dad was going to co-sign the loan. Dad decided it would just be easier to give him the money. I found out this morning that Dad gave Mark money to buy new glasses while we were out there visiting because he didn't like his contacts. They gave him $3,000 for a new car a few years ago, and he has made two payments of $150 each. My parents paid all lawyer/court fees when the crazy lady (aka my ex-sil) was fighting Mark for custody of Brandy. They give him money at the drop of a hat. HE'S 40 YEARS OLD!!! The same goes for my sister. My parents paid for part of their house, give them money all the time to fix up one thing or another or pay their bills or buy groceries. Of course I want my sister and family to eat, but if she would get off her duff and fill out her disability papers she would have more money coming in. But she's too lazy to do that.

So, I'm the one that went to college, own a house, have a solid spouse with a good job, have two nice cars . . . several people from my home town have commented that I am my Dad's "success story" after all the turmoil that Mark and Joni put him through. (My mom takes credit for it since M&J have a different mom). And I have a feeling that my Dad would be crushed if I asked him for money. So, I'm the "good" kid, but I get screwed over? It just doesn't seem fair.

Part of me wonders if the reason that Dad gives so much money without thought to my siblings is that he feels like he owes them something for not being around much when they were growing up since he and their mom were divorced. My Dad was really involved with my life when I was growing up and I would take that over money any day, but I wonder if he feels like he has to make it up to them somehow and if this is his way. Like he has to "earn" their love. Because its my dad handing out money left and right most of the time and not my mom.

I'm proud that we are stable enough that we don't have to borrow money from parents, but sometimes I wish I didn't have to live up to such high expectations.

The kid blows my mind!

I know I've said this before, but I absolutely cannot get over how grown up and smart Alyssa seems to be getting. I can't believe that a year ago she was just a pile of mush in my tummy and now she's actually a CHILD! A child that has ideas of her own, feelings, and understands part of the world around her.

Today I was giving her goldfish crackers and got up to let the dogs in. I looked back at the coffee table to see her unrolling the bag, reaching in, and helping herself to crackers. Just like a regular person!

Then this afternoon I was vacuuming and when I got "too close" to her she would put her hands over her ears.

HOW DOES SHE FIGURE THIS STUFF OUT?!?!?! It absolutely freakin' amazes me.

TV tonight

Goodness 3 blog entries in one day . . . I need to get myself a life.

I wasn't going to watch Martha's Apprentice. I figured it was just another way for her to make even more money and I've never really been that fond of her. I think she does amazing things, but it all seems a bit much. Honestly, am I ever going to make monogrammed bath towels for each houseguest I ever have? Anyway . . . tonight I watched the show because frankly there was nothing else on TV. I have to admit it ~ I actually ENJOYED it. I think I might become hooked. It was really interesting watching her from a business stand point and not a "make everything in your life obnoxiously fancy" point. Not that I wouldn't love to have everything in my life obnoxiously fancy, I just don't have that much energy, time, or money. I'm impressed that she uses her time in jail as something that she has learned from and that makes her a stronger person. Its not a "woe is me I was screwed over I shouldn't have gone to jail" thing and that really surprised me.

Then I watched the premier of Nanny 911. I love that show. It makes me long for my days as a nanny, although thankfully the G/D family was MUCH more calm than most of those families. They drove me crazy sometimes, but they were great kids and good parents deep down. * note to self, I really, really, really need to call them since the kids haven't met Alyssa yet* Anyway, if I would have been the mom in tonight’s episode I think I would have left my husband. The kids were doing something and she warned them to stop doing it because they were going to get hurt/break another leg/something along those lines. The Dad stood at the top of the stairs chanting, "Do it! Do it! Do it!". I couldn't believe how he just totally blew off the mom because the most important thing to him was having fun with his kids at any cost. Of course, he came around by the end of the show and realized how important safety is, but seriously I don't know how that woman lived with a partner who didn't stand up for her at all. I can't imagine living like that. I would have run for the hills!

Seriously!

How long is it going to take for me to remember that there is now a child-proof latch on the pantry in the kitchen?! I'm amazed I haven't ripped the door off the hinges yet. Adam put a sticker on the door to help remind me/us. I think he should have put up a sign that says "Hey moron (yes, you Christi) this won't open unless you release the blankity blank blank blank childproof lock". Is that too much to ask for?

Random thoughts for Wednesday

So, I decided to switch our trash company this morning because BradD was telling me about a company that was TONS cheaper (okay, $5.50 a month, but it offers free recycling, so its acutally $10 and $10 is $10). I called the new company and set everything up and then I called the current company to switch ~ here's how it went.

Me: Yes, I'd liked to cancel service
Trash Person: Okay, we can do that. Can I ask why?
Me: We decided to go with another company that was cheaper.
TP: Did you know that we do price match?
Me: No, I didn't.
TP: Okay, so when do you want your last day to be?

What?! No attempt to keep my business? What kind of joke is that? I feel better going with the new company because they are a small mom/pop kind of company and are super nice instead of the huge impersonal company we currently use, but I would have liked to have been "fought over" a little.

I'm listening to the radio this afternoon while feeding Alyssa lunch and I hear this commercial asking if you've ever had herpes. If you haven't, you can sign up to have some medical group test the herpes vaccine on you. Does that mean that you want me to basically sign up to be given herpes (and probably not "the fun" way that you would get herpes) that I may or may not get depending on if this shot works? That just seems wrong to me. But anything for a buck, right?

Funny Alyssa action of the day: I was getting something out of the pantry and she grabbed a bottle of "Bitter Spray" that we use on the dogs (mostly for when Lexi is attempting to trample someone who is trying to walk in the door). She lets out this crazy yell and starts crawling like a crazy baby after Lexi carrying the spray along with her. I don't know if I've ever seen Lexi look so spooked. Maybe after "the balloon monster" incident. ;) Its a close call.

I'm a sentimental fool . . .

Lately I've been feeling really sappy. Maybe its because we just passed the one year anniversary of my grandma Nelsen passing away and I think about her all the time. I wish both she and Grandpa would have been able to meet Alyssa. I miss them both so, so much. Maybe its because we are quickly approaching the one year birthday of my sweet baby girl. Maybe its just me being crazy and hormonal ~ just ask the gang that saw me break down sobbing at dinner at Olive Garden the other night over some big news (more on that later).

Yesterday mom and I went over to my cousin's house to visit his family (and to unload my exersaucer, jumperoo, and a couple other big baby toys ~ ahhhh, the house feels bigger already). Carson, who's 5, sat down next to me, scooted closer and whispered "Do you want one of my pictures?" and handed me one of his flag football photos. Too cute! Jay's kids are really shy around Mom and I since we only see them a couple times a year ~ even though we only live about 15 minutes apart. Maybe he remembers that I shared Alyssa's grilled cheese with him at Applebees a few months ago when his sister wouldn't share hers. Or that I gave him my pickle ~ that's the way to a kid's heart . . . give 'em a pickle. Anyway, it warmed my heart that he wanted me to have one of his pictures.

Lately I've been watching Adam and Alyssa interact with each other and I'm so thankful for such a wonderful husband and a wonderful daughter. I love seeing the way her face bursts into a smile as soon as she sees Adam. And I love the way that he cuddles her and tickles her. I love that they love each other so much. I love that I love them both so much. I don't know what I would do without them.

And I want to give an emotional shout-out to my friend Angie aka the one I'm having an affair with. Who recognizes how difficult it is for me to ask for help (even for something as silly as birthday invitations) and is proud of me for asking. Who understands my craziness because, heck, let's face it ~ she's kinda crazy too! ;) I don't know what I would do without you, lady, and I love you bunches. Let's hear it for getting drunk and bonding at Holiday Parties!!!

Alyssa's First Wet T-shirt Contest

This picture cracks me up . . .

Something I love and Something I hate

I've blogged about my love of fall before, but now that its officially here, I just have to give it another shout out! Today has been 70-75 with a definite "crispness" in the air. I wish it was 70-75 and sunny instead of overcast and gray, but I'll take what I can get. I got a huge craving for chili, so I'm "experimenting" with dinner tonight. I threw a bunch of chili-ish ingredients into the crock pot and we'll see what happens. I am so thankful that I have a husband who will try anything that I put in front of him. I'm looking forward to an evening of comfortable clothes, fuzzy socks, chili and crackers, and cuddling up to watch a movie/TV. Ahhhhh I LOVE FALL!!!!

Okay, now on to something I hate. We have a radio station in town that when I was growing up would start playing Christmas music 24/7 the day after Thanksgiving. I thought it was the greatest thing because I LOVE Christmas and I LOVE Christmas music. I admit that from time to time I'll pull out a Christmas CD in the middle of the summer and play it just to get my fix. Last year, said radio station started playing Christmas music the day after Halloween, which I thought was a bit much. Let us get through Thanksgiving and then you can start up with the festivities, but I love Christmas music, so I didn't think about it too much. Today, September 23rd (the SECOND day of fall) I'm driving home from the mall, flipping channels and would you believe that I heard "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town" coming out of my speakers. Come ON people, you have GOT to be kidding me! Freakin' September 23rd! Lord have mercy on those poor parents who have to explain to their kids that they still have about 100 shopping days until Christmas. Why does all the Christmas hub bub have to start so early?! Is a month not long enough? I've always been able to do all my decorating, celebrating, shopping, ect for the Christmas season in a month and have not felt supremely rushed. What's next, start it up the day after Valentine's Day?!

I see a toddler in my midst

I turned around in the kitchen today while getting Alyssa's lunch ready to find her with her finger up her nose. I told her "don't pick your nose, silly girl!" to which she pulled her finger out, gave me an "oh yeah, look at this, mom" look, and up the nose the finger went again.

*sigh* I'm not ready for this attitude.

Now she just slammed the door shut to her bedroom. She's going straight from baby to moody teenager before my eyes!

I'm so weird . . .

how weird are you?! you may ask . . .

Last night/this morning I got up with Alyssa around 3:30. I got her back to sleep pretty quickly and then went back to bed myself, but I felt like something wasn't quite right. Then I realized it ~ I was wearing shorts. I'm strictly a t-shirt and underwear for sleeping kind of girl and as I laid there in my shorts I COULD NOT FALL ASLEEP! I tossed and turned for a long time, then decided to take off the shorts and BAM out like a light.

Please oh please don't let my OCD be passed on to Alyssa or any future children.