My dad gave my brother several thousand dollars yesterday so that my brother could buy my 15 year old niece who DOES NOT HAVE her license a new jeep because the two cars that they current own aren't "cool" enough for her to drive to school. My brother can't get a loan on his own, so the deal with my parents was that my dad was going to co-sign the loan. Dad decided it would just be easier to give him the money. I found out this morning that Dad gave Mark money to buy new glasses while we were out there visiting because he didn't like his contacts. They gave him $3,000 for a new car a few years ago, and he has made two payments of $150 each. My parents paid all lawyer/court fees when the crazy lady (aka my ex-sil) was fighting Mark for custody of Brandy. They give him money at the drop of a hat. HE'S 40 YEARS OLD!!! The same goes for my sister. My parents paid for part of their house, give them money all the time to fix up one thing or another or pay their bills or buy groceries. Of course I want my sister and family to eat, but if she would get off her duff and fill out her disability papers she would have more money coming in. But she's too lazy to do that.
So, I'm the one that went to college, own a house, have a solid spouse with a good job, have two nice cars . . . several people from my home town have commented that I am my Dad's "success story" after all the turmoil that Mark and Joni put him through. (My mom takes credit for it since M&J have a different mom). And I have a feeling that my Dad would be crushed if I asked him for money. So, I'm the "good" kid, but I get screwed over? It just doesn't seem fair.
Part of me wonders if the reason that Dad gives so much money without thought to my siblings is that he feels like he owes them something for not being around much when they were growing up since he and their mom were divorced. My Dad was really involved with my life when I was growing up and I would take that over money any day, but I wonder if he feels like he has to make it up to them somehow and if this is his way. Like he has to "earn" their love. Because its my dad handing out money left and right most of the time and not my mom.
I'm proud that we are stable enough that we don't have to borrow money from parents, but sometimes I wish I didn't have to live up to such high expectations.
4 comments:
On a much smaller scale, my dad is the "success story" of the family. When my grandparents visit aunt or uncles, my grandparents are the ones that pay for dinner. But when visiting Dad, that's never the case.
Oh, and remember we did borrow money from my parents and still owe them. But out of the close to $12,000 I owed them at one time, we're now down to $1000. Ben's borrowed money and never repaid. Same with Chris too, I think.
Christi, my dad and I are the "success stories".
I have to point out that "we" did not borrow money from them . . . it was "you" that borrowed money and I inherited the debt on December 28th, 2002. :)
But I am very proud of the fact that we have repaid almost everything.
Ok, but without "me" borrowing money, "we" wouldn't have a house!
Girl, your family is JUST like mine.
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