My Night with Mommy (by Joel)

Daddy and Alyssa went to soccer practice tonight, so I got Mommy all to myself. As a treat she gave me a fruit roll-up. I LOVED it! And my dessert led to our next activity. BATHTIME! Its not very often that I get the bathtub all to myself, so Mommy pulled out the camera and documented the fun that I had.

Afterwards Mommy decided that I needed a HAIRCUT! It wasn't too traumatizing because I got to chew on my toothbrush and look at myself in the mirror while she cut my hair. Afterwards we played my new favorite game that I learned from my big sister Alyssa ~ it involved hiding in the closet and opening/shutting the doors. The louder you slam them the better!!! And you can see a little bit of my cool dude new haircut. Mommy was trying to get better pictures, but I wouldn't hold still long enough. I've got places to go, man!

After all the bath fun and running around I wanted to cuddle with Mommy and she was a very willing participant to cuddle time. I even fell asleep with her holding me, which was pretty awesome for both of us.

Until next time ... Joel

(More) Photography By Alyssa

As much as I hate Alyssa playing around with my camera, I have to admit it makes my day when I download my pictures and find little "presents" like these ... enjoy! :)

Where's the damn owner's manual?!

The one that came with Alyssa, that is. The girl is testing her limits BIG TIME lately and I don't know how much longer I can take it. I've tried being patient and firm and reminding myself that this is just a phase, but all I really want to do is run away. I feel like she's turning into an 18 month old again who is getting into everything and has to be watched 24/7 ... except now she *knows* that she's not supposed to do things. As evidenced by the "I'm sorry, mommy" that she says as soon as she sees me.

Breathe in ... 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 ... and out ... *repeat*

Finally, the boy is paid off

It only took 4 months, but I think I've finally finishing paying all the bills from when Joel got his tubes. I swear it seems like the bills never stopped coming! And I told Adam that I was probably paying the same thing over and over again and *they* are just giggling over it and planning what to do with the Joel wing of Children's hospital. ;) This morning I confirmed that our balance with Children's is $0 and as of Monday afternoon we have a $0 with Dr. D. So unless a bill pops up from our pediatrician, we should be in the clear.

Now to pay off Joey's bills ... this parenting (whether human or animal!) is expensive stuff!

Movie weekend

We rarely watch new movies around here, usually its the same Disney and/or Dora movie for the 5 BILLIONTH time, but yesterday I stopped at Blockbuster to rent a couple movies with a gift card that Adam got for Christmas.

I rented "Juno" for Adam and I and "Enchanted" for Alyssa (okay, that one was for me, too, but I can get away with saying that I got it for her ~ ha!). Adam and I actually sat DOWNSTAIRS on the COUCH TOGETHER and watched A MOVIE all the way through without a kid interruption or one of us (me) falling asleep. The last time we did that we watched a movie that was so bad we wanted to shoot ourselves for giving up 70 minutes of our life ... I can't remember what it was; I think I've blocked it from my memory. Anyway, I highly recommend "Juno". I think its the first time ever that a film has gotten so much award "buzz" and recognition and I've actually liked it; usually I hate the film critics choices and love the ones that get horrible reviews. Although they did seriously screw up the pregnancy test scene, which bothered me as a person who has peed on several "sticks" in my day.

And "Enchanted" was a wonderful, wonderful movie. I think "Alyssa" definitely needs to add it to her DVD collection. ;) Another one that I would highly recommend for the entire family (because even Adam admitted that it wasn't too bad of a movie).

Boo yah!!!!!

After multiple weeks of stress and countless hours of "fiddling" on mostly my part, but some of Adam's part, too, I finally, finally, finally have an acceptable template for Uniquely Yours' thank yous. The design we had in mind seemed so simple, but was just barely out of reach no matter what program I used, no matter how I set up the paper, no matter how I trimmed. But finally, this morning, I figured that SUCKER out. I just want to scream from the rooftop because I'm so relieved that its behind me. Except its cold and rainy out and I'm totally terrified of falling off a roof.

So I'm virtually screaming via blog ... "HOOOO-FREAKIN'-RAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Backyard Crime Scene

Our back patio seems to have been the scene of a horrible homicide. Evidently Alyssa was smooshed into a large marshmallow-type shape (see the blue blob outline). Maybe a piano was pushed out of the bedroom window. Taye evidently was the victim of a hit and run from a Kawasaki big wheel. It must have hit her at a incredible speed because check out the way her body was practically bent in half (the white outline). Although is it really a hit and run if the bike is still at the scene? ;)

Attention parents ...

If you are one of those parents who have to use a crow bar to get your child in and/or out of a high chair at a restaurant because their legs pretty much touch the ground when they are sitting in it and you see a mom sitting by herself with a 3 year old (probably younger than your child and is sitting in a regular chair) and a 14 month old who she has to hold on her lap because there are no more high chairs left because morons like you feel the need to use them and she is almost in tears because she is sitting at a table for two that is the size of a serving tray and she's trying to juggle the 14 month old and eat and help the 3 year old at the same time FOR GOD SAKES OFFER HER YOUR HIGH CHAIR! Especially when you are sitting in a booth with your one 8 year old child in a high chair and with another adult.

Another one of those times that I wish I had the nerve to call people out. Kind of like the woman who rolled her eyes at me in the parking lot at Michael's when she realized that she would have to wait for me to get Alyssa out of her carseat before she could get into her car.

Alyssa and the Joey story

Adam and I were really unsure of what to tell Alyssa about what was going to happen to Joey when we finally made the decision that we were going to have to have her put to sleep. We finally came to the decision that we were just going to kind of avoid the situation all together (way to wuss out, huh?). We hoped that by not talking about it, Alyssa would be young enough that she would quickly forget and move on. Not so. The morning that I took Joey back to the vet after having her home for one last night, Alyssa wanted to go with me. I explained that just Mommy and Joey were going this time. So she asked if she could go with me the next day to visit Joey. Evidently she had gotten accustomed to our daily visits to the vet while Joey was staying there. So I gave her the story I had been practicing in my head. I told her that Joey was still very, very sick and that I was taking her back to the vet so that they could give her some special medicine that would make her go to sleep so that she wouldn't feel so yucky and sick anymore. But I also explained that after she got this special medicine she would stay at the vet and we wouldn't see her again. She seemed to accept the explanation and blew lots and lots of kisses to Joey as we were leaving.

The next couple weeks she would tell people from time to time that Joey was at the vet because she was really, really sick. I remember specifically getting a "raised eyebrow" from my inlaws when she relayed the information to them. As much as I hate to say this, I figured Alyssa was young enough that she would quickly forget our sweet Joey, so I just tried to smooth it over as quickly and quietly as possible.

Fast forward 6 weeks. More than enough time, in my mind, for her to forget. She and one of the daycare kids started talking about Joey this morning. Alyssa piped up and said that she was really, really sick and at the vet. Then she asked me when we could go visit her or when she was coming home. I gently reminded her of the "story" and then came the heartbreaking response, with big sad eyes and an expression like she was going to burst into sobs, "But, Mommy, I really, really miss her". Me too, sweetie. Me, too.

I feel like I haven't given her closure. That I've left loose ends and I don't know what to do about them. Alyssa doesn't know/understand heaven yet, so I can't use the puppy heaven story. We say prayers and she talks about God, but she doesn't understand all that He entails. I keep trying to make sure that she understands that Joey was extremely sick and that she had to go away to feel better and that because we loved her so much, we let her go, even though it meant that we wouldn't have her at home with us anymore. Maybe its too much for a 3 year old to understand. But I still don't feel like I handled it the right way.

Rainy Day Part 2

So, after Joel decided that he had had enough of the girly stuff and went off to his crib to burp and toot and all that boy-ish stuff, Alyssa and I sat down to make some "masterpieces". I sprinkled a little clear/sparkly glitter on mine, so she decided that her's needed some gold "accent". Funny how accent and accident are very similar words, huh? Anyway, I love her piece ... I think its my new favorite piece of art ~ and I'm lucky enough to have the original hanging in my kitchen!!! I may be biased, but I think she's pretty talented.

Rainy Day ...

No girlfriends to play dress up with? NO PROBLEM ... that's what little brothers are for!

Blast from the past

In anticipation of the New Kids on the Block reunion I've been spending time on youtube reliving the good old days of New Kids videos. Makes me feel like a giddy little 10 year old again. Those moves! Those clothes (especially the billowy long-sleeved shirt unbuttoned over the t-shirt ~ how HOT was that?!)! The big hair! Bliss.

Christy or Angie ~ want to hit a concert if they come to the QC? ;)

Now that I think about it, Adam had pretty big hair around that time, too ... maybe it wasn't his hot car that got me.

Alyssa-ism

Conversation at lunch today after Alyssa chucked her fork across the kitchen.

Mommy: Alyssa! You know better than that! You know you don't throw silverware.
Alyssa: No, I don't.
Mommy: Well, you do now. No throwing silverware; you could hurt someone.
Alyssa: Oh. *in a "damn, now I have to come up with a NEW excuse so that I can throw my fork and not get into trouble"*

I need a drink.

Fiji water's next spokesperson

My adorable children

Wednesday night Adam and Alyssa had soccer practice, so I got to hang out with my favorite little guy all by myself. That doesn't happen very often. I am just blown away when watching him lately. Its like he's gone from this blob to this little "thing" with a brain and I just love, love, love watching him figure things out. We were playing in the toy room and he picked up this yellow football that he has that splits into two pieces (a baseball fits inside, then the football fits inside a soccer ball and the soccer ball fits inside a basketball). He then looked around and found a yellow shape that goes to our shape sorter. He looked at both pieces for a minute or so and then slowly tried to put them together ... I just loved the look on his face. He knew that they were both the same color, but also knew there wasn't something quite right about them being together. The boy is just a genius, I think.

The other afternoon Alyssa was trying to get me to lay down with her before she took her nap and she was throwing a fit because I wouldn't be swayed. I reminded her several times that I only lay down at night, and only when she has been good and hasn't argued/procrastinated/fussed about going to bed. Then she looked at me with tears in her eyes and said "But mommy, I just love you too much!". How do you respond to that? I mean, other than telling her to move over. ;)

And speaking of Alyssa and sleeping ... the sleep fairy has visited 3 times this week. I really think its the addition of the sound machine that is helping her the most, but whatever it is I'm so relieved. Now if I could only get my bladder to sleep through the night, life would be grand.

Struggling with my bio

A few days ago I received a link via e-mail to a website that had been set up for my upcoming 10 year high school reunion. Although I have no desire whatsoever to GO to my reunion, I was excited about the feature on the website that let people update everyone on what was going on in their life. I've become slightly addicted to it; logging in freuqently with hopes that all of the sudden there will be a list of all my former classmates so that I can find out what they are doing with their lives. So far there is *maybe* 10. Out of about 135.

And then comes the struggling with what to write about me. For some reason my life doesn't seem good enough. So I try to figure out if I can "spin" it a certain way to make things sound better. But why should it have to be better. I have a really great life. There really isn't anything else that I would ask for. Sure, I could ask for more money, a cleaning lady, a nanny, etc, but overall I think I'm a pretty lucky girl.

This whole thing has me puzzled. If I don't care to go to my reunion because there isn't anyone that I really care about from my class that I don't see on a fairly regular basis, then why do I care what they think of me? Why do I feel like being a stay at home mom isn't good enough? It makes me feel like other people are going to think of me a living in a white trash trailer park (no offense to Angie and Eric! ;) ), with my dirty kids running a muck, and my beer-bellied, chain smoking, grease-under-the-fingernails husband yelling "woman, git me a beer!" at me. But when I think of stay at home moms, especially the ones that I personally know, that's not the case at all.

I'm so messed up.