I'm going to try to avoid slamming my mil too often on my blog, but today was such a trying day, that I just need to get some things out. And I don't want to dump everything on Adam because I feel so bad ragging on his mom all the time (although he does agree with me most of the time).
Now keep in mind that her mom and brother are here from PA, so she always puts tons and tons and tons of pressure on herself to make sure everything is perfect when they are here, so that in turn makes her really bitchy to the rest of the family. I hate that she makes comments like she knows Alyssa so well, when she actually doesn't. And then I hate the fact that she doesn't know Alyssa that well. She doesn't make the effort and I'm tired of making the effort only to get shot down. It takes a lot for me to get up the courage to try to include her in our lives, which is what she is always saying that she wants, and then I just get blown off. Example ~ she was really ticked off when I planned Alyssa's baptism without confirming that the date was okay with them and keeping her in the loop of what was happening. I would have treated my own parents the same way I was treating her if the baptism hadn't been in their church and the dinner afterwards at their house ~ I figured since I was taking advantage of them like that, they deserved to be a little more "in" with the planning.
So, today I get up the nerve to say that I'm planning Alyssa first birthday for the Saturday after her birthday and want to make sure that that'll work for them. She freaking LAUGHS at me and says that she doesn't even know what she's doing next week. Its not really up for discussion, I just wanted to make sure that they don't have something already going on. And I wanted to scream that its all her fault that I have to sacrifice the fact that I really want to have her birthday party ON her actual birthday because she won't reschedule her tutoring. She's the only one that wouldn't be able to make it on the actual day, so I'm working around her and she should be greatful. And with the "I don't know what I'm doing next week" comment, does that mean that I should wait until a couple weeks before Alyssa's birthday and check back with her and ask her when would be good for her? There are a lot more people involved her than just her and other people are already having things come up. We already have things coming up. Its a busy time of year. I was trying . . . I don't know why I try. I wish I could just blow her off.
I took Alyssa's scrapbook over so that I could show Grandma (figured that she might like to see how Alyssa has been growing since she's only seen her once before) and I knew that my mil would probably be upset because there aren't many pictures of that her side of the family. Not that there are many pictures of my side of the family ~ just pictures of Alyssa with my nieces who are her only cousins. But she actually confronted me and wanted to know why I hadn't bothered to put pictures of her family in there. I was trying to explain that I don't have a lot of pictures, so I'm waiting to get more pictures so that I can do more pages, but it was like she just said her piece and then shut down with no regard to what I was saying. I feel like she does that a lot. She tells me what is ticking her off, but then she doesn't want to talk about it or try to resolve it or even listen to my side of the situation . . . she just wants to keep telling me over and over and over again why I piss her off, why I'm a lousy daughter in law, why life has pissed in her cheerios every morning for the past 30 years and I'm tired of it!
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