Realization at church

I went to church tonight with Angie so that we could check out the 5:30 service. I really didn't want to go; I've been in such a "mood" all day that all I wanted to do was stay in my pjs and a shower was the last thing on my to do list. But since I've been having such a difficult week, I thought it might help to get away for an hour and leave my worries and cares at the door.

And help it did. Pastor G gave a really good sermon that really got me thinking . . . and in my thinking process I made a realization. It seems simple when I explain it, but I think its been at the root of what has been bothering me for quite a while. I'm jealous of other people. I envy them; to quote the ten commandments "I covet" my friends lives and possessions ~ or at least part of them. I'm jealous that Brad and Julia have this beautiful house that they have painted and furnished with all sorts of new furniture. I'm jealous that their house is sophisticated and grown up. I'm jealous (man, I should really use the thesaurus and figure out a different word for jealous) that they were about to just take off for the weekend and go to Chicago on a spur of the moment trip. I'm jealous that Eric and Angie are going to Vegas next week. I'm jealous that they eat out all the time and never seem to give their checking account a second thought. But instead of thinking of what other people have that I want, I should think of what I have.

I have, and have had for almost 4 years, a house that I do love.
I have a brand new super cool car with a sun roof!
I have a beautiful, adorable, smart, baby girl.
I get to stay home every day all day (sometimes a blessing, sometimes a curse) with said baby girl.
I have a husband that makes me laugh and makes me feel beautiful and special.
I have said husband for 24x7 techincal support when I need it (and let's face it ~ I need it a lot)

Sure, I wish I had a jacuzzi tub in my bathroom, tile floors, granite countertops, and double sinks in my master bathroom, but I'm only 25 years old. I have a long life ahead of me and I don't need my dream home right this minute.

Sure, I wish that we could have gone to Lake Tahoe for Adam's birthday and I really, really would love to go to TN with the gang, but right now its just not possible. But in the end, I would give up 5 days vacationing for my dream job of staying at home with my baby girl . . . no place on earth would be worth giving that up. And we'll probably never be able to take spur of the moment trips again (or at least not for another 25 years or so), but we will get to travel and vacation and sightsee and have adventures. And maybe if we have to "work" for it a little harder than other people we'll appreciate it that much more. Alyssa and I went shopping for night stands and a trunk/chest for the bedroom yesterday. It gets to me sometimes that I'm currently using a TV tray for my night stand and Adam is using an end table that belonged to my grandmother for his. As I stood there looking at the pieces of furniture that were "okay", but nothing I couldn't live without ~ and nothing that matched our current furniture, I realized that I didn't need to spend the $1,000 they would cost then. I would rather wait a few years and buy an entirely new bedroom set, that all matches, that reflects both Adam and I, that is ours . . . and that is grown up and sophisticated and fits perfectly into the home of my dreams.

But I can wait for everything . . . and while I wait, I will treasure the things that life has blessed me with and find joy in my every day life.