Today has been one of those days where all I've heard from Alyssa is "why" and "I don't want to!". Joel has pretty much done nothing but cry for about 80% of the day ... including a lovely 2 1/2 hour stint from about midnight to 2:30 AM where he was just noisy and whiny. Not crying so that I felt I needed to go in and comfort him, but just enough that I couldn't fall asleep because of all the noise that would sporadically come through the baby monitor.
At about 7:45 tonight I found myself thinking "I can't wait for these kids to just shut the heck up and go to sleep". Probably not an uncommon thought among the parenting set. But then a little voice in the back of my mind reminds me how lucky that I am to have them ... arguing and crabbiness included. So then I started feeling guilty and decided to go in and rock/cuddle with Joel since he was having a hard time falling asleep. Of course as soon as I went in there he started screaming louder and gesturing wildly towards the door. I understand, Joel, that you do not want to be in your room and going to sleep right now, but your choices are mommy holding you or being put down in your crib. He continued flailing and yelling, so I put him down.
Now there is evil mommy who wants to go in there and scream "shut up and go to sleep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" - its hard to ignore him because you can easily hear him from any room in the house. Then there is nice mommy that wants to give in and let him come out and watch TV and cuddle in our bed for a few minutes. And truth be told, it would probably only take about 10 minutes of "downtime" with him and I in a room other than his and he would probably happily settle down to go to sleep. But then evil mommy interrupts my logical thoughts to remind me that its been one of those days and encourage me to just run away - far, far away. Talk about your power struggle.