Sick baby

That's right, my baby is sick. Not too sick, just a cold (keep your fingers crossed that it doesn't explode into something more), but she's still a snotty, snarky, sad mess. I feel so bad ~ like its all my fault. First of all because she's not getting breast milk full time anymore. While I nursed her she had one cold - that's it. I know that its "good" for her to get some germs to boost her immune system, but I wish there was a way to do it without her having to feel all yucky. Second of all I feel bad because last week I started going to jazzercise classes and I left her in the germ-care, I mean child care room. (BTW, I hadn't really started blaming this on myself until Adam pointed it out today, so now I'm beating myself up over it and its really all his fault. :P)

Stream of conscious thought . . . yes, jazzercise. I know, it sounds totally uncool, but it kicks my ass and I love it, so deal with it! Plus its free since I'm volunteering an hour of my time each week; you can't beat that. Side note, my mom graduated from high school with the founder of jazzercise. Its so funny to look at her picture and think that she's actually 61 years old. She doesn't look 61. Then again, I don't think my mom looks 61. And Ms. Jazzercise doesn't really look that much better than my mom.

Another thing I'm feeling guilty about. I want to go to my class tomorrow morning, but I feel bad leaving Alyssa all sick in the care of "strangers" in the childcare room so I broke down and called Adam's mom to see if she would watch Alyssa for me. I feel like such a bad mom for wanting to work out while my child is sick. Plus she's teething so she's running a bit of a fever and her mouth hurts.

All this guilt is making it impossible for me to sleep. But I should sleep while I can because I have a feeling its going to be a long night. One of my closest friends from college is in town this weekend and wants to get together tomorrow. I wish I could blow her off, but I totally blew her off last time she was in the state and since I don't get to see her very often . . . she'll have to deal with sleep deprived/guilt-ridden me. Now that I think about it, I think Lindz has seen me that way a lot.

So back to my sweet baby girl. She's all snarky and snotty and I wish I could wave a magic wand and clear out her nose. The sucker thing isn't working very well because she has really runny snot, so I keep making her snort saline drops in hopes that it will make her sneeze out some snot. (Okay, you non-moms can stop being grossed out, I'm done talking about my daughter's nose functions) I wish we had a guest room. I would curl up with my sweet little peanut all cozied up in her flannel footie pjs and sleep with her tonight. If I didn't have to move tomorrow I would sit up all night with her in the rocking chair and let her sleeping with her soft little warm head nuzzled against my neck. God I love that kid.

Oh yeah, my other baby is starting to get sick, too. I haven't felt the best all day and when I got home this afternoon Adam said that he was starting to get the sniffles. Please let this pass quickly.