Tonight at Target I was glancing down the picture frame aisle as I walked past it and I saw something that made my heart stop. Or rather, I should say, I saw someone. Had this happened 4 months ago I was have happily ran down the aisle and greeted her with a huge hug and a smile. Tonight my first instinct was to run.
Four months ago I considered this person one of my best friends. And then she disappeared. I found out several weeks after she "disappeared" that she had left her husband and moved to her own apartment. I was floored. Thinking that she just couldn't find a way to tell me the news, especially considering I was the matron of honor at their wedding, I e-mailed her to let her know that I knew hoping that would break the ice. I heard nothing. I e-mailed her to let her know that I wanted to support her in whatever way she needed; I just wasn't sure what she needed and asked her to reply even if it was just to tell me that she needed space. Nothing. On a whim about a month ago I called and asked her out to coffee/lunch. I was shocked when she answered her phone and even more shocked when she agreed. She told me that she would call me later in the week to decide on a time/place. I heard nothing. I called and texted her asking if we were still on. Nothing.
And then tonight, there she was. I got up my courage and went over to talk to her. Ridiculous considering she knows me almost better than anyone else in the world. She kept saying that she knew that she didn't handle the situation right and she never meant to hurt me and that she just didn't know what to say to me. I told her it was okay; that I understood.
But its not and I don't. I don't understand. I was hurt. I am hurt. She didn't handle it well. She treated me like crap and treated our friendship like crap. Meaningless crap. Forgettable. Able to be discarded at a moments notice.
I never thought that would happen to us.
I think she is truly happy. And I think I'm happy for her. After all, what kind of friend would I be if I weren't? And maybe on some level I'm a little jealous because she's free to do or be whatever she wants. But I'm also really sad. Because I honestly don't think our friendship can survive this.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Ones for Alyssa's baby book ...
* Saturday night after Angie's birthday dinner we stopped by Sonic for some ice cream. After Adam ordered, Alyssa kept rolling down her window and yelling "ICE CREAM, PLEASE" and then rolling the window back up as she would laugh hysterically.
* She's really starting to notice how much attention Joel pays to her ... so much so that she's taking to screaming at him when he's falling asleep in the car because she doesn't want him to miss anything that she might do. Just short bursts of "AH!" like when he squawks at her.
* Normal reply to anything that I ask her to do lately "no, please".
* Today at lunch I was peeling myself a peach when I offered some to Alyssa. She LOVED it and ate almost the whole thing and was really upset when I told her that we had eaten all of it and there wasn't any more left. Off she went to open the fridge on her own, find a peach in the fruit drawer, and come back to me to say proudly "one more, mommy!". Tonight I was retelling the story to Adam and spelled out p-e-a-c-h. His reply was "what you can't say peach around her?". She wasn't even really paying attention to us, but her radar must have gone off when she heard the magic word peach, because next thing you know she's pulling another peach out of the fridge and telling Daddy that there's "one more!".
Oh, she keeps life interesting!
* She's really starting to notice how much attention Joel pays to her ... so much so that she's taking to screaming at him when he's falling asleep in the car because she doesn't want him to miss anything that she might do. Just short bursts of "AH!" like when he squawks at her.
* Normal reply to anything that I ask her to do lately "no, please".
* Today at lunch I was peeling myself a peach when I offered some to Alyssa. She LOVED it and ate almost the whole thing and was really upset when I told her that we had eaten all of it and there wasn't any more left. Off she went to open the fridge on her own, find a peach in the fruit drawer, and come back to me to say proudly "one more, mommy!". Tonight I was retelling the story to Adam and spelled out p-e-a-c-h. His reply was "what you can't say peach around her?". She wasn't even really paying attention to us, but her radar must have gone off when she heard the magic word peach, because next thing you know she's pulling another peach out of the fridge and telling Daddy that there's "one more!".
Oh, she keeps life interesting!
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Dee ~ this one is for you!
I put Joel down in his crib this morning to watch his mobile while I was putting laundry away. I came in a few minutes later to find this:
he had scooted his way around until he found his blanket (thanks again ~ its the best!!!), cuddled up with it, and fell asleep (he NEVER sleeps on his back, by the way). So sweet! Hope this story/picture helps you feel better soon!
he had scooted his way around until he found his blanket (thanks again ~ its the best!!!), cuddled up with it, and fell asleep (he NEVER sleeps on his back, by the way). So sweet! Hope this story/picture helps you feel better soon!
Thursday, July 05, 2007
I'm in business!
Tonight marks the eve of me accomplishing one of my long time goals/dreams. Tomorrow morning I officially open my own in home daycare. You name the emotion, I'm feeling it tonight, but mostly I'm really excited. I hope its a great experience for Adam, Alyssa, Joel, and me as well as my daycare families.
I have will have 4 additional kids total. The first family that is starting tomorrow has two girls ages 5 and 3. They will be coming two days a week. My other family starts in August. They have two girls ~ one is 3 years old and a baby who is about 6 weeks younger than Joel. The babies are going to be my biggest challenge, but I'm really excited about the fact that both families have girls close to Alyssa's age. The second family will be coming 2 1/2 - 3 days a week. So both are part time, which should leave me a day or so each week to run around and be "free" (or as free as a mom to a 2 1/2 year old and 5 month old can be!)
Wish me luck!!!
I have will have 4 additional kids total. The first family that is starting tomorrow has two girls ages 5 and 3. They will be coming two days a week. My other family starts in August. They have two girls ~ one is 3 years old and a baby who is about 6 weeks younger than Joel. The babies are going to be my biggest challenge, but I'm really excited about the fact that both families have girls close to Alyssa's age. The second family will be coming 2 1/2 - 3 days a week. So both are part time, which should leave me a day or so each week to run around and be "free" (or as free as a mom to a 2 1/2 year old and 5 month old can be!)
Wish me luck!!!
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
Dear Joel ~ 5 months old
It seems very cliche to start off by saying that I can't believe you are 5 months old already, but I'm sitting here flabbergasted that my little baby boy is quickly turning into a not-so-little baby boy! In the past week you have gotten 2 teeth. Teething was pretty rough on you (and mommy and daddy for that matter), but you were a trooper. Yesterday you tried cereal for the first time, which didn't seem to be a huge hit. I doctored it up with a little apple juice tonight and that seemed to suit you a little better.
You are such a smiley and happy little guy; I can't imagine our family without you! Thankfully you are also a very patient little person, with the exception of when you want to eat. Your patience comes in handy when Alyssa wants to "help" with you or "love" you. Already you're starting to show some signs of stranger anxiety, especially around people who tend to hold back a little to see how you are going to react to them ~ such the intuitive, smart one you are!
Your favorite toy seems to be a little play piano that has 4 keys on it; second only to your toes! Daddy and I both cheered the day you FINALLY got your toes in your mouth because you were working on it for weeks. There's just something really squishy sweet about a baby with toes in his mouth.
We need to work on your sleeping habits at night because you're still getting up two to six times a night. Thankfully you aren't up for long, but as much as I love to see you and cuddle you, we could do without all the wee hour visits ~ I promise you will get plenty of cuddling and loving during the day, too, don't worry. Maybe you figure the middle of the night is the only time that you get me all to yourself. :)
Its been a fantastic 5 months, buddy bear. I love you more than you'll ever know.
Love,
Mommy
You are such a smiley and happy little guy; I can't imagine our family without you! Thankfully you are also a very patient little person, with the exception of when you want to eat. Your patience comes in handy when Alyssa wants to "help" with you or "love" you. Already you're starting to show some signs of stranger anxiety, especially around people who tend to hold back a little to see how you are going to react to them ~ such the intuitive, smart one you are!
Your favorite toy seems to be a little play piano that has 4 keys on it; second only to your toes! Daddy and I both cheered the day you FINALLY got your toes in your mouth because you were working on it for weeks. There's just something really squishy sweet about a baby with toes in his mouth.
We need to work on your sleeping habits at night because you're still getting up two to six times a night. Thankfully you aren't up for long, but as much as I love to see you and cuddle you, we could do without all the wee hour visits ~ I promise you will get plenty of cuddling and loving during the day, too, don't worry. Maybe you figure the middle of the night is the only time that you get me all to yourself. :)
Its been a fantastic 5 months, buddy bear. I love you more than you'll ever know.
Love,
Mommy
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